We can't afford to live together and have children

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  • peachyprice
    peachyprice Posts: 22,346 Forumite
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    Yes but there's obviously a line, if the mortgage was to go up to 1800 for example we wouldn't be able to cut enough and lose the house, that's what I'm trying to establish do I need to factor in a rise to that sort of amount

    No you don't. You need to factor in living in the here and now, plus a little bit for a rainy day.

    If rates rise you WILL cope, it's what people did last time and they don't just shoot up overnight, it's a gradual process to which you adjust accordingly. And TBH, I don't think the government will let it get that out of control again, certainly not in the forseeable future.
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
  • onomatopoeia99
    onomatopoeia99 Posts: 6,964 Forumite
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    Yes but there's obviously a line, if the mortgage was to go up to 1800 for example we wouldn't be able to cut enough and lose the house, that's what I'm trying to establish do I need to factor in a rise to that sort of amount

    Crude calculations : £150k repayment mortgage over 30 years at 10% interest is £1316 a month. Would have to get to 14% to get to £1800/month. If you're worrying about that happening when the base rate has been 0.5% or less for eight years, then you'll never buy a house.
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
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    I know your right and I'm letting my mind run away with me as it's trying to predict it for the next 30 years. All the time we've been looking for a house my girlfriends been saying she's fully into it but it's scary and I've been the one saying no it's not its great but now I'm faced with it I'm absolutely sh**ing myself about losing the house which is why I'm convinced we should give up on our dream and settle for less but obviously the same risks apply there is just a little more leeway which is comforting.

    I know the fact I've felt secure for so long is making it harder.

    Whether it's justified or not, whether I'm an idiot or not I'm just plain scared stiff it's the wrong choice and we're ruining our lives. That's what it's coming down to
  • Grenage
    Grenage Posts: 2,899 Forumite
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    edited 19 May 2017 at 5:17PM
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    TV packages, fantasy heating comfort levels, pensions you may or may not draw, and children you don't have aside; don't buy a house now - just get out of your parents house.

    I know this is what you've been told 500 times before, in this very thread, but it's on the money.

    You are spending, and have spent, many of the best years of your lives withering away in your parents house - that's probably why you're so weak-willed and afraid of the big wide world.

    I would rather rent for my entire life than have spent an extra 5-10 years in my parents home. I love my parents, but it's not healthy; it damages you, and you don't grow up.

    Buying a house with someone you haven't properly lived with is the poster-concept of insanity. It's barking, don't do it. There's nothing wrong with renting.

    Log out of MSE, close down your computer, grab your missus by the hand and go look at some rentals. Go and live your life.
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    I know your right and I'm letting my mind run away with me as it's trying to predict it for the next 30 years. All the time we've been looking for a house my girlfriends been saying she's fully into it but it's scary and I've been the one saying no it's not its great but now I'm faced with it I'm absolutely sh**ing myself about losing the house which is why I'm convinced we should give up on our dream and settle for less but obviously the same risks apply there is just a little more leeway which is comforting.

    I know the fact I've felt secure for so long is making it harder.

    Whether it's justified or not, whether I'm an idiot or not I'm just plain scared stiff it's the wrong choice and we're ruining our lives. That's what it's coming down to



    Life is supposed to be happy, you are ruining it by the way you respond
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
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    So it's too late for me to grow up?
  • kjh_gemini
    kjh_gemini Posts: 70 Forumite
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    The OP seriously needs to stop dithering and just get on with it.....

    .....or we have a troll with too much time on their hands
  • sweetbabu
    sweetbabu Posts: 162 Forumite
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    Admittedly, I'm heavily pregnant and it's hot, so I'm a tad grumpy at the moment but !!!!!! me!

    The only two things that you can ever guarantee in life are death and taxes. Everything else is made up of what ifs and what mays. If you sit around thinking that you'll wait till you have enough money, you'll never have a baby. What actually even is 'enough money for a baby? You'll never have a house either.

    You have plenty of income to cover our non-negotiable bills and have lots leftover to spend as you like.

    We bought a doer-upper and are now sitting on a house that has more equity than we owe on the mortgage. Not everything in this life is easy and it all take a hard work.

    Why do you expect that you should have the absolute perfect dream home as your first? What about starting at the beginning and working your way up? The dream house will likely have sold already and there are plenty of other perfect houses out there.

    I've got two exes who, like you, were utter doommongers. Im actually quite a happy person but I would feel like I wanted to top myself after time in their company. I suggest you get your head out of the sand and actually start living your life, otherwise your OH will eventually find someone else. And youll still be living with your parents into retirement.
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
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    I'm not trolling, I've never borrowed a penny in my life always only bought what I can afford and now I'm thinking of borrowing 150000 which will be over me until I'm 67. am I wrong for feeling very unnerved by that
  • sweetbabu
    sweetbabu Posts: 162 Forumite
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    No, it is a massive commitment to make; no one is disputing that.

    But if you don't take the chance, you never will.
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