Free guide from Refuge for women experiencing domestic violence

I shan't quote a whole load of statistics here but for those interested, ManKind offers a really useful resource on this doubly hidden problem

I'm in no way doubting that men are daily victims of domestic abuse but I'm concerned by the statistics and general information presented on Mankind's website. I don't think the figures it uses or the 1 in 6 figure is accurate and representative.

The site says "in the last year, nearly as many men as women were victims of severe force in a relationship." but doesn't make clear that overall half as many men as women are physically abused and doesn't mention that men are more likely to be abused for shorter periods of time and that the abuse is most likely to start when the relationship ended. It also quotes heavily from a studybased on the BCJS (so it's not using very different sources) Regarding the statistic given on Mankind's page on male murders, it doesn't state how many were the abusive spouse being murdered by their victim. It's got a real agenda.

The Home office state here:

One in four women and one in six men will be a victim of domestic violence in their lifetime with women at greater risk of repeat victimisation and serious injury.
89% of those suffering four or more incidents are women.

The study that mankind quotes heavily throughout the website says clearly that women are more likely to suffer multiple victimisation and are more likely to be sexually assaulted and raped. It states Sixty-five per cent of male victims experienced only one type of intimate violence since the age of 16, with partner abuse (nonsexual)
only (27%) or stalking only (26%) being the most likely experience. Yet it doesn't present that information at all, it leads you to a different conclusion.

The statistics of 1 in 4 and 1 in 6 also state "in their lifetime" and doesn't specify how many have suffered it as a child growing up in an abusive household and how many have suffered it as an adult with an abusive partner. When you look into the specific breakdowns found here you see that men are equally or nearly equally as likely to suffer certain types of abuse from family as women are. However the figures for partner abuse show men are significantly less likely to suffer abuse at the hands of their partner. Remember this is all using the same sources that Mankind used, just presenting bits that Mankind haven't showed people. It also doesn't acknowledge that men are less likely to be caring for kids than women are which is a crucial point especially in relation to the advice Wendy has linked to.

It's crucial to remember that domestic abuse isn't just about violent partners it's about violent homes and families. Sadly parents abuse their children every day. It's very dangerous to play numbers games with male v female domestic abuse because as I've shown it's not just about how many people report being abused like this, there's far more issues going on than that. The issue as a whole is woefully underfunded (people may have read this article showing that the UK gives more to one donkey charity than it does to all the leading DA charities combined) and there need to be more provisions overall. There is an absolute need for more funding for male support services and housing as well as an understanding that abuse is abuse and it's wrong whether the victim is male or female. I don't object to that at all but I do object to the way that website has represented information.

So according to mankind's own sources men are abused LESS and for SHORTER PERIODS OF TIME and are LESS likely to be the victim of sexual violence, seriously injured, abused by a partner and LESS likely to suffer multiple victimisation. But the site doesn't give you all this information at all, it's biased and slants it.

Thankyou Dom Koas and Ianna for your comments - they're important, but I think they are diverging from the issues that this free guide is trying to address, ie: how to manage/be able to afford to leave a controlled relationship from the financial point of view. It is scary enough for many people just to think about splitting up, especially when children are involved.
Most of us are prepared to work hard as necessary, and compromise when necessary, in order to make a relationship work and give ourselves some stability and to realize our dreams of good home life. However in some relationships, an imbalance starts to build up into a cycle of one partner manipulating the other into compromizing more & more. The 'noose', the 'control' builds up and tightens over a period of time. This is the psychological side of the abusive relationship. It is important because it eats away at the self esteem of the victims, and often results in isolating them friends, family and work colleagues, ie: wipes away all outside support. The victim may feel shame, embarrassed, etc, and almost definately has finances being manipulated to perpetuate the cycle. Victims of emotional and violent abuse, (men & women), need support financially, as a step if nothing else to help them make that break.

I've just had a look at this guide. I suggest a useful way to create an 'escape fund' is to open a savings account with your local credt union. If you find you need to move before you saved enough to do so, they will be able to help you with a loan. The interests rates for saving and borrowing are fair, and you will have a very sympathetic ear if you need help from them. When you join, ask how you would apply for a loan if you needed it. They may require a letter from an organisation like Citizen's Advice or Refuge, in which case, you might want to have one prepared in advance, and a case worker who you can phone up if need be.
You can find your local credit union here:
http://www.abcul.org/page/index.cfm

as someone who escaped a abusive violent and degrading relationship just over 4 years ago now, I hope and pray that this guide helps anyone who is caught up ina similar situation, whether they are male or female, young or old, rich or poor. No one deserves to live their lives in fear