Mindful or Mind full?

HairyHandofDartmoor · 9 December 2017 at 10:10AM

Chrystal wrote: »

Just popping in Pauline to send support and virtual (((hugs))) your way.

I hope that things turn out the way you want them to, but either way you can get through this. Real life friends may be thin on the ground, and it's sometimes hard to express your feelings to them anyway, but virtual friends on here will give you all the support you need. Stay strong XX

DebtFreeDuo wrote: »

Oh Pauline it sounds like telling your mum was very difficult for you, well done for taking that step. The last few days must have been difficult for you but you're getting through it. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and be kind to yourself along the way.

Try and get out of the house if you can, even just for 5 minutes, the fresh air will do you the world of good although I know this may not be possible for you.

The most important thing is that you take care of yourself, don't worry too much about others at the moment, you don't have to explain anything to anyone until you're ready.

I can only echo what Chrystal and DFD have said. You are being very brave Pauline and coping very well. Stay strong and be kind to yourself.

Cherryfudge · 9 December 2017 at 12:01PM

Well done on telling your Mum. It must have been hard but it's no longer hanging over you and hopefully that gives you someone who understands in 'real life'. (Not that your support network here isn't real. I'm sure I'm real, for a start!)

I did some CBT reading at a point when my anxiety levels were high, and it did help. I'm one of those people for whom the reading would also set off anxiety so I only did a very little but it still gave me something to work on and now anxiety doesn't feature most of the time. I think I'm trying to say it doesn't even have to be twenty minutes of reading. If you just read a sentence or two it's a start.

Hoping for a better day for you today xx

Seasidegal58 · 9 December 2017 at 12:08PM

Echoing the above posters as well Pauline.

Take your time with things - baby steps are the order of the day. The cards can wait until you feel in the right place to answer and, anyway you’ve still to sit down with OH to discuss matters.

The talk with your mum must have been difficult - but hey! You did it! I’m so pleased that you’ve a supportive G.P. - this will make a world of difference. Perhaps in the future a few little tentative steps to rebuilding RL friendships could be a goal for you to aim for.

Have a peaceful weekend.

SSG x

beanielou · 9 December 2017 at 8:11PM

Glad that you told your mum.
I am sure that she is not dissapointed in you.
She will just worry about you.
( I am 55 & my mum still worries about me :eek: :rotfl:)
Be kind to yourself & take care.

HairyHandofDartmoor · 9 December 2017 at 8:25PM

My mum worries about me too and I'm 53

. I'm sure she's not disappointed in you but just worried about you. Parents generally just want their children to be happy.

I hope you're getting on all right today.

I really rate CBT. I read a brilliant book a few years ago called 'Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy' by David Burns and it changed the way I think completely. It made me realise how illogical all my fears and anxieties were, and I still use his techniques to calm myself when anxiety gets a grip on me. I highly recommend it.

fay66 · 9 December 2017 at 10:57PM

Im 51 and a failure in relationships Pauline, through anxiety but I have met a lovely guy 8 years ago, Ive pushed him away but he still comes back and even says hes sorry when hes been rude to me. You deserve the best you have us all here waiting and listening, its supposed to be snowing tomorrow, be safe , my perfect companions are my pets 2 cats and 2 dogs, they are therapyx

Freedom_beckons · 9 December 2017 at 11:29PM

Hi 117Pauline
I hope you are having a better evening. I am on the job hunt now, but for the first time in weeks feel more positive to be out of it. I am hoping things happen for a reason. I am taking less medication so thats a positive. I hope you are taking care too! Little things like birds, nature help!

You/we will get there!

System · 10 December 2017 at 9:38AM

Hi Pauline , it's been my dad's greatest wish for the past 14 years for me to remarry so I can be looked after ! It's never going to happen, I have the man in my life who is the only person I would consider living with , but sadly he doesn't feel,the same . I enjoy my single life and wouldn't change it but parents worry all the time.

I hope you and partner can get together and see if you can sort things out . Time apart may be work.

Posting helps I'm sure.

117pauline · 10 December 2017 at 2:00PM

So thanks again to everyone sending such positive messages. They really do help.

I went out twice yesterday, one walking and once in the car. Even managed asda on a Saturday afternoon and the lIbrary.

It's snowing here at the moment but as I am on a bus route the road is clear. I am going across the road in a minute to make sure one of my elderly neighbours has all he needs.

Continuing with the 15 minute chunks I am keeping myself busy. There seems a few surveys about.

I've been with the man for over 11 years so it does seem empty without him. I still haven't phoned him and I am determined not to. However, you know, life goes on and I am fed up with looking out the window as it passes me by. Roll on 2018.

I am focused on thriving. That's going to be my word for 2018 - look out world!

You have no idea how much your messages mean to me. The wonderful world of MSE.

Off to brave the snow
Pauline

DebtFreeDuo · 10 December 2017 at 2:07PM

You are an inspiration Pauline, such a kind thing to do to check on your neighbour. We have around 8 inches of snow at the moment and its still coming down, my neighbour knocked on my door and checked if we needed anything as he was going out and he knows its just me and DS.

I am glad you managed to get out, I think it always helps lift your mood when you get out and about. None of the bus services locally are running and I live in a big city! We haven't seen decent snow in years so I am thoroughly enjoying it but then I have the luxury of not having to go out as I can work from home.

I can imagine how empty it feels for you, I get the empty feeling without having had someone around in some time but your determination is wonderful. 2018 will be what you make it and it sounds like you will make it wonderful regardless.

Enjoy the snow.

Mindful or Mind full?

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