I’m taking control of my life, now.

Suffolk_lass · 8 March 2017 at 8:27PM

Just reflect on how much worse it could be if you had not started your debt-free journey. A bit like a climb up a mountain, you may have to change your route a bit to take account of the conditions but you know where you are going.

Remember the meal and your enjoyment of it but don't dwell on the cost - maybe the value is greater.

Chin up and carry on, you really are making progress.

sashybo · 8 March 2017 at 8:56PM

Fingers crossed about your husband's hours, it's not a nice feeling to be worrying & you can't even speak to him about it.

Regarding dinner, getting to where you want to be (debt free) will almost certainly involve periods of one step forward, two steps back. You did it, you didn't like how it made you feel - you've learned something from it & will try something different next time.

Hope all goes well with the MOTs.

boxofpaws · 8 March 2017 at 9:46PM

Bobarella wrote: »

Awww Paws I am sorry to hear that about your husband's job. And doubly hard you can't talk about it yet. It's one of those things where you'll probably worry about it until you know either way, but then at least you can come up with a plan together.

You know, it's a long road to debt freedom. Think of all the times you have said no already to dinners/drinks. Just because you said yes that time doesn't negate all the good times.

Big hugs.

Thank you. Hug accepted.

117pauline wrote: »

Hi Paws

I really like reading your diary.

Now, the meal out.... I can see why you are upset about it but it is a part of becoming debt free - we all make mistakes and have setbacks but don't over-react to it. It is one mis-step not the road to ruin.

If you can talk to your OH then perhaps you can come up with some strategies to avoid it happening again.

Don't forget it will take a long time to get used to the new you. Keep practising the good choices and bad ones won't happen so often.

Good luck on getting back on track
Pauline

Thank you Pauline, I'm really glad you're still reading

Deleted_User wrote: »

"Bad things
Heard that the husbands hours are probably going to be cut. Don't know anymore details. What makes it worse is I heard this in a confidential meeting so I can't even talk to him about it. This obviously slows down all our plans for getting rid of the hideous debt.
big car and motorbike are due mots and repairs and I have a bad feeling about both
Have avoided posting about this before, but I have been dwelling on this, so need to get it off my chest. On Saturday night, after our little treat activity, we went for dinner. I didn't want to but the husband guilted me. We spent £67. I'm less bothered about the money, more that I have been weak and it really makes me question if I have got what it takes to clear this debt. I feel like we haven't really made much effort to reduce our spends at all"

Oh Paws, sorry about DH, I'm sure things will work out.

As for the dinner out, of course you have got what it takes to clear the debt...look at how far you've come so far, everyone has a blip (you've read my diary!?! :rotfl:) please don't beat yourself up about it.

Big hugs to you xxx

Another hug accepted.

boxofpaws · 8 March 2017 at 9:52PM

angelpye wrote: »

Horrible situation to be in about husbands hours. From what I can see on your signature you have cleared £4K? In a couple of months? I think this journey is a long haul for many and the odd treat (as long as it is the odd one) is ok. From your first post it sounded like you were really strict and that didn't work. Its done now so chin up and move on.

A little bit of that £4k was Christmas pressie money from my Dad

, I wont be paying it all back at that rate! But yes, its a good start, thank you

armchairexpert wrote: »

This in the same post as you saying that you haven't spent money at work for weeks, have been eating healthier, meal planning, and you've paid a big chunk of money off in just under 2 months! You're doing great, Box. :T

Aw thanks Armchairexpert. I do sometimes focus on the negative. I saw a post on facebook recently that said 'if overthinking burnt calories, I'd be dead'. That's me, that is.

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

Sorry to hear about your husband#s hours, I hope you hear for definite soon so you can discuss it with him.

And you need to view the meal out like the proverbial bar of chocolate when you're on a diet. Just because you ate one bar of chocolate doesn't mean you give up on the entire diet. You brush yourself off, accept the minor effect and keep on going.

Thank you treading. I am just a bit worried that it doesnt feel like one bar of chocolate. It feels like lots of bars of chocolate and then one massive bar of chocolate. I'm worried that I used spend money wildly and the only thing i am doing differently now is posting after spending wildly.

boxofpaws · 8 March 2017 at 9:58PM

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Ahh Paws that's a tough one about your OH's hours - rather unprofessional of the company to have put you in that position really - not least as it puts you in an impossible position of torn loyalties over telling him or not. Hope it works out OK and isn't as bad as you fear.

I dont think they realised there was someone in the meeting with a spouse in his department. I understand the reasons, and I think they are the right ones, and they might even be the right ones for us in the long term, but we might have to tighten our belts (more)

Macey1510 wrote: »

Sorry to hear about your OHs hours. I hope everything works out well.

Thank you Macey

JoJoC wrote: »

I think you’re doing a great job and you’re most definitely cut out to get rid of the debt! Just look at all you’ve achieved so far and you’ll see that you’re doing great.

You lot are a lovely bunch, you really are. I saw a post on another thread that was a little disapproving about seeking out strangers' approval. How wrong they are. The kindness of people on here is keeping me sane. Well, a little less insane

boxofpaws · 8 March 2017 at 10:13PM

Suffolk_lass wrote: »

Just reflect on how much worse it could be if you had not started your debt-free journey. A bit like a climb up a mountain, you may have to change your route a bit to take account of the conditions but you know where you are going.

Remember the meal and your enjoyment of it but don't dwell on the cost - maybe the value is greater.

Chin up and carry on, you really are making progress.

You're right actually. 2 months ago, we would have had the meal out but would have had to put it on credit card. Our bank account it looking extremely depleted right now, but I am not in the slightest bit tempted to borrow money.

sashybo wrote: »

Fingers crossed about your husband's hours, it's not a nice feeling to be worrying & you can't even speak to him about it.

Regarding dinner, getting to where you want to be (debt free) will almost certainly involve periods of one step forward, two steps back. You did it, you didn't like how it made you feel - you've learned something from it & will try something different next time.

Hope all goes well with the MOTs.

I am trying not to think of his hours until I know for definite what is happening. Thank you Sashybo

motivated · 8 March 2017 at 10:20PM

boxofpaws wrote: »

You lot are a lovely bunch, you really are. I saw a post on another thread that was a little disapproving about seeking out strangers' approval. How wrong they are. The kindness of people on here is keeping me sane. Well, a little less insane

I totally agree. This site has saved me and my DH from ourselves.
You keep posting and if someone has a problem with it it's their problem not yours

You have done so well you should be proud at what you've achieved so far.
M

boxofpaws · 8 March 2017 at 10:27PM

Good things :j

Work is definitely improving daily. I have new boss and she is really really good, I am feeling really supported.
I am going to go on a business trip to Vienna in May. Excited about that.
I have seen the bonus I am getting and it is MUCH better than expected. Probably going to take home £1300 (was expected about £800).
Forgot to report back earlier but the Iceland chateaubriand was fantastic.
Had a firm favourite 'eat well for less meal tonight' (sea bass papillote) with Iceland seabass and it was fab. I might be an Iceland convert.
Sent final meter readings to Scottish Power so the switch is all going through.
Had a convo with one of the managers who seems to be under the impression that the part of the department my husband works in might not be affected by the hours cut. We will see.

Bad things:exclamati

Boiled my eggs but forgot to take them to work so spent 65p in the work canteen on soup
Have had a bit of a strop at the husband. He said to me last night 'Tall friend wants to go to the pub quiz on Sunday'. Me - 'we cant afford it'. Him 'I know'. Me 'You'll tell him no then'. Him 'I accidentally just sent him a thumbs up sign'. Me, some incoherent ranting and then silence, for 24 hours. He did tell me when he got into bed last night that he has cancelled.

I am frankly sick of being made to feel like the fun-sponge. We cannot say yes to everybody, every time they ask! We cant afford it, so why is it always me that has to say no?

He is making me all angry

Bobarella · 8 March 2017 at 11:28PM

I'd be annoyed to. No one wants to play bad cop. Unfair to be made to or see both of you derail the progress.

[Deleted User] · 9 March 2017 at 6:33AM

boxofpaws wrote: »

Good things :j
Work is definitely improving daily. I have new boss and she is really really good, I am feeling really supported.

I am going to go on a business trip to Vienna in May. Excited about that.

I have seen the bonus I am getting and it is MUCH better than expected. Probably going to take home £1300 (was expected about £800).

Forgot to report back earlier but the Iceland chateaubriand was fantastic.

Had a firm favourite 'eat well for less meal tonight' (sea bass papillote) with Iceland seabass and it was fab. I might be an Iceland convert.

Sent final meter readings to Scottish Power so the switch is all going through.

Had a convo with one of the managers who seems to be under the impression that the part of the department my husband works in might not be affected by the hours cut. We will see.

Bad things:exclamati
Boiled my eggs but forgot to take them to work so spent 65p in the work canteen on soup

Have had a bit of a strop at the husband. He said to me last night 'Tall friend wants to go to the pub quiz on Sunday'. Me - 'we cant afford it'. Him 'I know'. Me 'You'll tell him no then'. Him 'I accidentally just sent him a thumbs up sign'. Me, some incoherent ranting and then silence, for 24 hours. He did tell me when he got into bed last night that he has cancelled.

I am frankly sick of being made to feel like the fun-sponge. We cannot say yes to everybody, every time they ask! We cant afford it, so why is it always me that has to say no?

He is making me all angry

Yay to the good things!

I sympathise about the hubby and the pub, glad he sorted it.

I’m taking control of my life, now.

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