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    • MSE Jenny
    • By MSE Jenny 11th May 09, 12:14 PM
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    MSE Jenny
    MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you give up a 50 train seat for a pregnant woman?
    • #1
    • 11th May 09, 12:14 PM
    MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you give up a 50 train seat for a pregnant woman? 11th May 09 at 12:14 PM
    Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:

    Would you give up a 50 train seat for a pregnant woman?

    You book an advance seat on a five-hour train journey. It’s a Bank Holiday weekend, and there’s standing room only for non-reserved passengers, including a heavily pregnant woman. Normally you'd be up in a flash, but are loathe to give up your seat, as you paid 50 for it and booked early, knowing it would be crowded.

    Click reply to have your say

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    Last edited by Former MSE Rose; 12-05-2009 at 8:04 PM.
Page 3
    • Linclass
    • By Linclass 13th May 09, 6:55 AM
    • 31 Posts
    • 40 Thanks
    Linclass
    When I was heavily pregnant [I had gone past my due date] I had to have checkups every other day as I was suffering from Odema and raised blood pressure. Normally the mid wives came to me, however this particular check ups was my weekly one at the Dr's. By now I was too big to drive, my feet were so swollen I could only wear flip flops and hubby was at work.

    Luckily we have a bus route right outside the door that stops near my Dr's surgery, unluckily not one of the selfish passengers got up to give me their seat it was only a short journey [5-7 mins] BUT by the time I got to the Dr's I had a seriously high blood pressure and ended up in hospital for complete bed rest.

    I was taught by my parents it is common courtesy to give up your seat for the elderly, disabled, pregnant woman and woman with small children. I am afraid we live in an arrogant selfish society who put 'me' first these days and manners and common courtesy is on the wane.

    Happily my 9lb baby was delivered a few days later
    • robpw2
    • By robpw2 13th May 09, 7:00 AM
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    robpw2
    When I was heavily pregnant [I had gone past my due date] I had to have checkups every other day as I was suffering from Odema and raised blood pressure. Normally the mid wives came to me, however this particular check ups was my weekly one at the Dr's. By now I was too big to drive, my feet were so swollen I could only wear flip flops and hubby was at work.

    Luckily we have a bus route right outside the door that stops near my Dr's surgery, unluckily not one of the selfish passengers got up to give me their seat it was only a short journey [5-7 mins] BUT by the time I got to the Dr's I had a seriously high blood pressure and ended up in hospital for complete bed rest.

    I was taught by my parents it is common courtesy to give up your seat for the elderly, disabled, pregnant woman and woman with small children. I am afraid we live in an arrogant selfish society who put 'me' first these days and manners and common courtesy is on the wane.

    Happily my 9lb baby was delivered a few days later
    Originally posted by Linclass
    if it was on a bus i would definatly give up my seat if i was physically able to althought i fit into the category of disabled .. i also give it up for the eldelry but there is a space at the front for women with young children
    Last edited by robpw2; 13-05-2009 at 7:06 AM.


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  • RolyRoly
    If I was a woman, I think I'd choose to have a child with a man who can afford to make sure I didn't have to haul my heavily pregnant person about on public transport.
    • geri1965
    • By geri1965 13th May 09, 7:28 AM
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    geri1965
    Of course I would! I am shocked that there are people who admit that they wouldn't.

    Same goes for elderly people etc.

    I'd be with my OH though probably and he would give up his seat before me. But if we had to, we would both stand up for someone less able.
    • tallgirld
    • By tallgirld 13th May 09, 7:30 AM
    • 482 Posts
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    tallgirld
    NOPE. I would close my eyes and pretend i'm asleep!!!

    OH COME ON, pregnancy is not an illness!!!! :-)

    (what kind of selfish woman am I turning into) !!!!
    • robpw2
    • By robpw2 13th May 09, 7:31 AM
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    robpw2
    no this is a train where you have paid 50 not a bus where you have paid 5 quid

    if i am travelling 50 miles on a train then i book a seat .. besides i have to be able phyically not be stood up all that time

    she should get a free upgrade to first class .. they have plenty of seats spare


    Slimming world start 28/01/2012 starting weight 21st 2.5lb current weight 17st 9-total loss 3st 7.5lb
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    • robpw2
    • By robpw2 13th May 09, 7:32 AM
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    • 26,389 Thanks
    robpw2
    NOPE. I would close my eyes and pretend i'm asleep!!!

    OH COME ON, pregnancy is not an illness!!!! :-)

    (what kind of selfish woman am I turning into) !!!!
    Originally posted by tallgirld
    this is the funniest post ever


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  • pilotdudeuk
    I've been in this situation before (although not a 5hr journey thankfully!)

    Travelling portsmouth to London at rush hour last year with my mum, we got to our booked seats and sat down. (This was 1 week after I had had double knee surgery and was still on crutches and unable to bend my legs)

    At the next stop a heavily pregnant woman got on and was standing in the aisle. All these "gentlemen" from the city in their fancy suits all took one look and hid behind their broadsheet papers.

    After a minute or two when it was obvious no one was going to offer her a seat, I struggled to my feet and offered her mine.

    She gratefully accepted making some comment about "gentlemen bankers"

    And yes - she made sure I got my seat back when she got up.

    Just for the record - I'm a 30yo man who was brought up with manners and a sense of common decency!!
    • robpw2
    • By robpw2 13th May 09, 7:46 AM
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    robpw2
    how can you sit on a train with the narrow leg room between seats if you cannot bend your legs .. im confused

    dont you have to bend your legs at your knees to sit ....


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  • Sarahhaines70
    I would give up my seat, it is the right thing to do. It is easy to say she should have booked the seat in advance, but sometimes there are so many things on your mind you just forget.
  • spudz
    Probably would but I think if the woman is heavily pregnant she would have had the good sense to pre-book a seat so that she didn't have to stand up.
    • tim_n
    • By tim_n 13th May 09, 8:14 AM
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    tim_n
    First of all there are seats on trains for disabled/pregnant people, so hopefully she could use one of those.

    If I was sitting near one of those, and there was someone using them that should really be giving them up, I'd pull myself out of my personal privacy bubble long enough to put them on the spot and ask them to give up their seat. I'd paid for mine, they hadn't and it is a priority seat.

    If none were available, yes I'd give up my seat. I'd do it on the tube (and often do) but only if they're elderly, disabled or heavily pregnant. I remember once getting up to let an old lady sit down, and before she could a girl in high heels nipped in and stole it saying 'thank you'. I explained the situation in no uncertain terms and after disapproving looks from commuters around me, she finally budged.

    But what gets my goat is a few months ago on a trip to Coventry from Euston, an old lady had booked a seat because she was unable to stand. Some little scrote (about the same age as me) had decided that he'd pull out the reserved ticket, screw it up and bin it. When the lady turned up, he denied all knowledge and said it was, in essance, finders keepers.

    It's not often I get so enraged. I leaned over, told him that if he wasn't going to get out of the seat he'd appropriated, then I was happy to pull the cord above my seat and pay the fine. When he realised I was being serious, he moved and left the carriage in embarrisment. Meantime the carriage errupted in applause.

    Where did common human decency go?
    Tim
  • Rockerchick, 75
    What a shame
    What a shame that quite a few of us do not seem to care for others any more.
    I was brought up to have respect for others and although I admit its not appreciated for alot of the time I will not stop.
    What if it was your Sister, Mum or Aunt that needed a seat would you say oh sorry I have booked this you can not sit down?????

    Ettiquette may dying but come on guys....
  • marmalade77
    No Way!!
    If that woman did not have the forethought to buy an advanced ticket then I don't see why I should have to give my seat up. If someone was obese, and carrying the same excess body weight then i would not give my seat up for them, so why should it be any different for a pregnant woman.

    If it was an elderly person or someone who had a disability so they could not stand, then i would give up my seat with no hesitation. I usually do this on our local metro system but pregnant woman - forget it. Why should I have to give up my seat just because she's pregnant.!! ps I am a woman of child bearing age and I would never ask someone to give up their seat for me.
    Last edited by marmalade77; 13-05-2009 at 8:31 AM.
  • Skippy2roo
    Sorry don't do trains, overcrowded, smelly, toilets never work and all this for 5 hours she'd be welcome to the seat. Fly down to where ever and guarantee a seat.
    Hello again
    • robpw2
    • By robpw2 13th May 09, 8:24 AM
    • 12,646 Posts
    • 26,389 Thanks
    robpw2
    What a shame that quite a few of us do not seem to care for others any more.
    I was brought up to have respect for others and although I admit its not appreciated for alot of the time I will not stop.
    What if it was your Sister, Mum or Aunt that needed a seat would you say oh sorry I have booked this you can not sit down?????

    Ettiquette may dying but come on guys....
    Originally posted by Rockerchick, 75
    yes but why should i have to explain about my disability etc just because people cannot see it untill i have to try and stand and move around .

    I am sorry but you do not know everyones back story

    i book a seat if possible because other wise i have to stand in agony being thrown around a very fast moving train but because i am not old .. pregnant or a women i get the greif from people like you for not wanting to give up my seat to someone else ..

    if it was my mum .. id be very worried if she got pregnant ... over 60 ...
    my sister .. she would understand about my disability wht happens then do you pick straws to see who deserves it more ..

    would a pregnant women give up a seat for an old lady ?

    i know for a fact that old people and women with childeren do not want to give up their fold down seat at front of buses for someone in a wheelchair ..


    Slimming world start 28/01/2012 starting weight 21st 2.5lb current weight 17st 9-total loss 3st 7.5lb
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    • DKLS
    • By DKLS 13th May 09, 8:29 AM
    • 12,761 Posts
    • 21,519 Thanks
    DKLS
    Normally I would offer my seat, but after one incident I am much more careful to check that the lady isnt just fat rather then pregnant.

    Once in a packed carriage, I saw a heavily pregnant woman huffing and puffing, so gallantly offered her my seat saying "you need this more than me in your condition" she turned on me and screeched so the entire carriage could hear "I am not pregnant I AM FAT!!!!!" I promptly hid behind my paper and she didnt get my seat.
  • spaindave
    Yes i would
    I am a 69 year old man with back and leg problems and severe arthritis. YES, of course I would offer my seat to a heavily pregnant woman. This is called Manners, Respect, Etiquette and Chivalry. If I found that I was in too much pain after a while, I would ask her to allow me to sit for a short while to rest, then I would give the seat up again.
    People nowadays have no understanding or empathy for others, and very little respect for for those wonderful beings, Females. Females are the most important thing in the lives of us men and should be treated with care and consideration.
  • purplegaily
    Been there done that
    I've had twins, and was on a packed train during my last week of work before Mat Leave (37 weeks) - the journey is supposed to be 30 minutes long, so I wasn't bothered when i had to stand. When the train stopped between stations for 45 minutes due to a failure of the train in front, the only person that got any attention was the lady who fainted from the heat.

    I say attention, but someone offered her some water, and the only people paying attention to her were also standing. Noone offered her a seat, and she ended up sitting on the floor. Fortunately I was leaning against the door, by a window, but it does show a lack of respect for those who may need the seats more.

    Having been there, I think I'd have to make to the offer of a seat to the lady, but it might not be the msot gracious offer I've ever made - mumbling something under my breath about pre booking!!
    Always on the look out for a bargain. Thanks if you've helped me bag one.
    • smk77
    • By smk77 13th May 09, 8:47 AM
    • 3,357 Posts
    • 2,641 Thanks
    smk77
    Certainly not.

    I wouldn't want to be regarded as sexist and politically incorrect by showing favour.

    Besides, we taxpayers are subsidising her pregnancy with state handouts, I'm not giving up a seat as well.
    Originally posted by scotsbob
    What a stupid thing to say! Most women who are pregnant spend 90+% of their pregnancy working and paying taxes. My wife worked until 3 weeks before our son was born. During those 3 weeks she was entitled to 350 SMP which was actually LESS than she paid in tax during the same period on her work maternity pay which you certainly didn't pay for!!! Also I paid more in tax during the same 3 week period than she claimed whilst pregnant and this was tens of thousands of pounds less that she has paid in tax during her working life. How dare you suggest that the tax payer subsidised her pregnancy!!

    If you subsidise anything it's the 12 months AFTER the birth..i.e. when they are no longer pregnant and entitled to their company maternity pay!

    I don't regard you as sexist and politically incorrect - you are just a ignorant fool!
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