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    • trailingspouse
    • By trailingspouse 2nd Jul 19, 10:10 AM
    • 3,689Posts
    • 6,916Thanks
    Change of name - reaction of parents
    • #1
    • 2nd Jul 19, 10:10 AM
    Change of name - reaction of parents 2nd Jul 19 at 10:10 AM
    Would just like some independent perspective on this, as my parents' (well, mother's) reaction has taken me by surprise.

    At birth my name was 'Trailing A'
    Following my first marriage, I became 'Trailing B-C' (it was a hyphenated surname)
    When we split up/got divorced I dropped the hyphen and became 'Trailing C'
    Following my second marriage I became 'Trailing D'

    My second husband and I have recently separated, and I have no wish to keep his name. I have changed my name by Deed Poll to 'Trailing E'.

    E was previously my middle name, and is a family surname.

    I expected my parents to be a bit surprised. But my mother is actually angry about it. She thinks I should have gone back to my maiden name, Trailing A. I did think about doing this, but as I was quite young when I married the first time, the person that I remember with that name isn't the person I am now. Whereas my middle name has been with me all of my life, through thick and thin. I also simply prefer it as a name.

    She tells me that my father is angry too - although he's never said anything to me about it.

    I can't decide if she's more angry with me - or with him for not 'sticking up for the family name'. She says I've insulted them. I tried to point out that the name I've chosen is a family name too (in fact it's her family name) - but it makes no difference. Bizarrely, she'd have been happier if I'd kept the name of the man who left me!!

    So - the deed is done now, my name is changed. But does my mother have a point? And moving forward, how can I help her to see that it was never intended as an insult to anyone but is simply my choice?
Page 3
    • getmore4less
    • By getmore4less 6th Jul 19, 12:52 PM
    • 36,980 Posts
    • 22,817 Thanks
    Make sure your executor knows every name you have ever used, they may need an extension sheet for the forms.
    • Halfie
    • By Halfie 15th Jul 19, 3:14 PM
    • 84 Posts
    • 92 Thanks
    Could you have surname A as your middle name? I did this after I got divorced but didn't want to go back to Halfie A B so changed to Halfie B A
    • MEM62
    • By MEM62 16th Jul 19, 9:09 AM
    • 2,664 Posts
    • 2,332 Thanks
    I did think about doing this, but as I was quite young when I married the first time, the person that I remember with that name isn't the person I am now.
    Originally posted by trailingspouse
    There is probably more of that person left than you realise. I do not believe that we become different people, rather that we just evolve a little with age and life experience. I too have evolved over the years but still have the same name - but then I am male and also proud to bear my family name.
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