What do I do for the best
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My husband does work full-time, all the bills I've put in are my half of the bills. We do need 2 cars as I can't drop the kids to school and get to work in time
you may want to redo the SOA and include everything on it, as that will give a much clearer picture of the finances for the household.Mortgage £75,300 (December 2016) Mortgage Free Date December 2051
Mortgage £9,650 (April 2024) Mortgage Free Date August 20240 -
he earns £34000, I'm on £21,440, he does pay £650 rent whereas I only pay £350.00 Rest of the bills are split equally as he has his debt to pay, about 6 credits, 1 personal loan and a car loan. I'm going to speak to him this evening and try together to get ourselves sorted. However he is desperate to buy a house but we have no deposit so I don't think its going to happen especially with the amount of debt we both have.0
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I'm not exactly sure of all of his figures however I do think we need to discuss it, in detail once and for all. However he gets cross with me for spending money on day-to-day things like food, clothes for the boys, christmas etc and I get annoyed with him for spending money on cigarattes even though he should give up0
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Avant Credit (3909.49..(134.8)....39.8) and Likely Loans (3994.2...(133.1)....47.9) are not secured loans - the are just non-priority unsecured debts so should be in the other section.
You may choose to prioritise your family loan but it is unlikely a debt management company would agree to that. As you are not able to make your monthly contractual payments I think you should cancel them, save an emergency fund and start a do-it-yourself debt management plan with help from this board and maybe
https://nedcab.cabmoney.org.uk/dmp.asp
The only other comment I have on your soa is that you should probably allow 20 per month for car maintenance0 -
I think you need to check your SOA. For some reason it doesn't look as if your loan payments have been taken into account on the total amount you pay over the month as it's only showing you are £81 out, which i think is actually an under estimate. Like others have said, i'd talk to your other half and get an accurate picture of exactly what your situations are. My husband and i are working together at clearing our debts and use each others cards to shuffle from one 0% deal to another. It means we are both aware of how we are doing and also the debt is spread between us and we can make use of the best deals out there. If you are planning on getting a house together i think you need to be open with each other and face this together.Total Debt November 2018: £23, 7950
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I'm not exactly sure of all of his figures however I do think we need to discuss it, in detail once and for all. However he gets cross with me for spending money on day-to-day things like food, clothes for the boys, Christmas etc and I get annoyed with him for spending money on cigarettes even though he should give up
Having a full and frank conversation would be a start. Then draw up a full SOA that includes all the info from both of you.
That should then lead to a family budget - it will show how much you have allocated for food, clothes, Christmas, cigarettes etc as well as all the bills and debt payments.You will be able to see if you can actually meet all the commitments and, if not, then you will need to adjust down the budgets for nice-to-haves like cigarettes, Christmas, etc.
I would suggest a spending diary too - write down everything you spend for a month, both of you. That might show areas where your estimates are out
Only once you have a complete picture can you move forward.
It is so much harder to do it alone - we often see people posting about scrimping and saving only to have the OH splash out on something unnecessary because they simply didn't know that the money wasn't there
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Ok, im going to come in with my size 9's (like you are my best mate)
First of all you need to do a household soa with all the correct figures including the value of any assets such as cars etc....
There is no such thing as my money his money business, or my debt his debt, and i dont really care who earns more or less, its the OUR money and OUR debt, you are married and have 2 boys that you need to bring up and set a good example to
to be frank your husband needs to get his head out of sand and grow up, you are living in a rented house paying £1000 a month in rent to a landlord who is getting his mortgage paid off every month and at the same time building positive equity in the house ( im sorry i know this sounds harsh but honestly its coming from a good place) your husband and you want to have your own place but by spending unnecessary on cig's cars food etc... you are just delaying things longer and missing out on any potential house price rises
like others have said keep a spending dairy and write every £ down and see where your money is acutally going, when i did this i was shocked to see i was spending £50 a month just in fizzy drinks and gum
do you need a car as you are only spending £40 a month on fuel if not sell it and save the money etc....
Also have a rule in the house like we do which is anything that costs morethan £100 needs to be discussed first and needs the other agreement before it can be bought, if it a personall item such as a laptop,mobile smellys etc... then that needs be used taken out of your own personall spends/savings and should not impact the household budget
sorry i may have come across a little blut but its coming from a good place i want you get out of debt and get a place of your own but its going to happen if you sacrifice your today for your tomorrow“People are caught up in an egotistic artificial rat race to display a false image to society. We want the biggest house, fanciest car, and we don't mind paying the sky high mortgage to put up that show. We sacrifice our biggest assets our health and time, We feel happy when we see people look up to us and see how successful we are”
Rat Race0 -
£60 on Mobile phone - is that just yours? if so that is very high.
Do you have anything you can put up for sale on Ebay or local facebook selling sites - its amazing what people will buy.0 -
Hi all
Thank you so much for your replies, all very much appreciated. Going to have a serious talk with husband tonight and try and sort things out and get a clear picture so we can move forward.
My car I'm not sure I could do without as not sure time would allow me to walk to school then to work and back again, also not sure if my youngest would cope doing the walk twice a day but will consider it and talk about that tonight as well.
I do sell any clothing etc on eBay or Facebay although doesn't seem to make a lot of money nowadays although it does help. I do also try and buy things 2nd hand when I can as well.
Really appreciate your comments, and hopefully my husband and I can work together and get out of debt once and for all. Thank you0 -
Hiya - let us know how your talk with husband goes tonight and if you can then do a new SOA ………. I've been there with the debt - got out of it for a while and then in it again as husband forgot about a big bill coming in x0
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