We can't afford to live together and have children

Red-Squirrel_2 · 19 May 2017 at 12:08PM

JPB156 wrote: »

The scenario isnt far fetched it's very real for us, and if I'm repeating myself it's because the same questions keep getting asked.

We don't need to rent together we know our relationship it's not like we have been together for a few months. We have had a lot thrown at us in our time together and have come out stronger than ever

Every couple should ideally live together for at least a year before they make any big commitments like marriage, mortgage or babies. No matter how long they've been together.

JPB156 · 19 May 2017 at 12:09PM

So you have this image of because we live with our parents we do nothing for ourselves and leave it all to them. Maybe when we were 17 but we both pay our parents keep, we both do washing., cooking round the house. My parents were in money trouble a few years back and I've helped them through that. We are not a couple of teenagers who get everything on a plate from our parents. Yes I know it will be extra work and responsibility on our own but we both know each other inside out, she knows me better than I do. And we know we can cook and will keep the house tidy

meer53 · 19 May 2017 at 12:12PM

FGS ! Move in together and live your lives instead of worrying about stuff that may never happen. You've already wasted over 10 years ! When my ex and i first moved in together we had about a fiver between us to last the week when all the bills were paid, looking back it was hard but we did it and got through it, we weren't worrying about how we would manage in retirement ! We eventually bought a house and had kids, it all comes with time, if you worry about it you'll never do it. Getting what you want isn't always possible, you might not buy a house, you might not have kids, life is for living, not waiting till everything is in place.

Livelongandprosper · 19 May 2017 at 12:15PM

JPB156 wrote: »

So you have this image of because we live with our parents we do nothing for ourselves and leave it all to them. Maybe when we were 17 but we both pay our parents keep, we both do washing., cooking round the house. My parents were in money trouble a few years back and I've helped them through that. We are not a couple of teenagers who get everything on a plate from our parents. Yes I know it will be extra work and responsibility on our own but we both know each other inside out, she knows me better than I do. And we know we can cook and will keep the house tidy

Oh if only that was all it took to run a home, would save us an awful lot of work and money that's for sure

Seriously, you are definitely 35?

Because the more you post, the more you sound like a teenager

You are 35 and don't know about WTC/CTC/HB? Even I, who have never claimed any of the above know off them and where to find the information on how much can be claimed

Guest101 · 19 May 2017 at 12:15PM

JPB156 wrote: »

So you have this image of because we live with our parents we do nothing for ourselves and leave it all to them. - Have you ever had to get a quote from a builder? Have you had to pay utilities, council tax etc, and shop around for the best deals? Have you had to plan weekly meals, cook atleast twice a day, clean house from top to bottom, whilst having almost no sleep due to a newborn? Maybe when we were 17 but we both pay our parents keep, we both do washing., cooking round the house. - That's not running a house. My parents were in money trouble a few years back and I've helped them through that. We are not a couple of teenagers who get everything on a plate from our parents. - no-one is saying that. But ultimately it's not your house. You aren't responsible if it needs a new roof! Yes I know it will be extra work and responsibility on our own but we both know each other inside out, she knows me better than I do. And we know we can cook and will keep the house tidy

This is pointless now I think. Goodluck !

Sambella · 19 May 2017 at 12:19PM

At that level of income you may well get help with childcare costs

https://www.gov.uk/childcare-calculator

There are also childcare vouchers if your workplaces offers them

If your partner was to go part time after having a child you would also likely get tax credits and child tax credits.

JPB156 · 19 May 2017 at 12:21PM

I know what benefits there are but it doesn't seem like we would get any.

And yes I know it's not the same as living on your own but no one is going to replicate it until it actually happens. But whether we can do it was never part of my question and renting doesn't solve anything.

Oh and if my parents house did need a new roof I probably would be responsible as they wouldn't afford it

jackieblack · 19 May 2017 at 12:24PM

IAmWales wrote: »

Either you've misread what I said or you're on drugs. Or both.

You said

IAmWales wrote: »

If your partner is only 30 she has many child bearing years ahead of her

This may potentially be true, if she is fortunate, but is by no means a certainty and you can't possibly know that for sure.

And the only drugs I've taken in the last 20 years are of the variety used to try and increase fertility :cool:

JPB156 · 19 May 2017 at 12:27PM

That's another problem I have which I didn't want to post and why we feel rushed, but I was told last year I have a low count

Livelongandprosper · 19 May 2017 at 12:29PM

JPB156 wrote: »

I know what benefits there are but it doesn't seem like we would get any.

And yes I know it's not the same as living on your own but no one is going to replicate it until it actually happens. But whether we can do it was never part of my question and renting doesn't solve anything.

Oh and if my parents house did need a new roof I probably would be responsible as they wouldn't afford it

I just made up some details. You 35, her 30, two kids under 5 , you only working, 18k a year, and guess what? Nearly 6k in benefits

I didn't add housing costs nor childcare. Add them in, jackpot

We can't afford to live together and have children

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