We can't afford to live together and have children

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  • arbrighton
    arbrighton Posts: 2,011
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    I don't understand all the personal attacks I'm asking people with more experience some idea of the cost of living why has social media turned everyone spiteful
    Because you're repeating the same questions in the hope of getting different answers as you don't like the answers given and people aren't telling you what you want
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
    Can't really tell how much our shopping will be until we're in our house and going shopping.
    How come you don't pay water rates?
  • arbrighton
    arbrighton Posts: 2,011
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    OK OP, let's try this again.

    You are 35 and have no idea of the cost of living.

    This is exactly why renting for a year or so with GF is a good idea. So you know what your food bills are, what else needs paying (council tax, insurances, window cleaner, electric, gas, water) and how much that might cost you.

    Then you will know if your AIP feels affordable or not
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    JPB156 wrote: »
    Can't really tell how much our shopping will be until we're in our house and going shopping.
    How come you don't pay water rates?
    But you do the cooking and cleaning at home now, so surely that's equipped you with every life skills imaginable?


    - This is why I said rent for 6 - 12 months.
  • anna_1977
    anna_1977 Posts: 862
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    Actually that's exactly how I'm looking at it but are you saying if you were told you were low that you wouldn't feel like you should not leave it til your 40's when chances are your levels are starting to drop anyway

    no one is saying don't have kids, we are suggesting you buy a house and start to live and THEN think about the kids, you've already been told it's ok just a little low so why stress about being able to have kids before you've even started trying - for all you know your partner might not be able to

    I get the impression you're a glass half empty kind of guy and you thrive on stress.

    As a previous poster just said 'go out and live'
  • JPB156 wrote: »
    Can't really tell how much our shopping will be until we're in our house and going shopping.
    How come you don't pay water rates?

    Because I live in NI and they won't introduce them :)

    Grocery shopping is one area you have wiggle room to save. You need to look at what you eat, what brands you buy, where you can eccomonise. Buying brands, ready meals and the best steaks is going to push your bill sky high. Eating less meat,using cheaper cuts, scratch cooking, you could easily cover the lot on £120 a month for 2
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
    Fed up with you putting words in my mouth, I never said that. The context of that post is because you were implying I had a cushy little existence where everything is done for me just because I'm living at home I wasn't saying I'm running a house like it's my own
  • anna_1977
    anna_1977 Posts: 862
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    Can't really tell how much our shopping will be until we're in our house and going shopping.
    How come you don't pay water rates?


    Go to the supermarket and literally put in a weeks worth of shopping for 2 people and buy it? Seems simple enough to me
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    This is just a general point, not targeting you OP, I don't know you:


    I am genuinely surprised someone who is older than me, but quite a few years, has no clue. I think the mentality of "must buy, never rent" that permeates through society does nothing but ill-equip people for life.


    I have a colleague who's going to do the same as the OP, IE buy a house with partner of 2-3 years, having never lived with them and currently living at home. I was surprised by this, but at least they're in their early/mid 20's.


    I don't think it does anyone any favours to keep children at home for so long.
  • Malthusian
    Malthusian Posts: 10,898
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    arbrighton wrote: »
    This is exactly why renting for a year or so with GF is a good idea. So you know what your food bills are, what else needs paying (council tax, insurances, window cleaner, electric, gas, water) and how much that might cost you.

    Normally I would agree but there's three problems with that:

    1) More data is not going to help the OP make a better decision. The OP can't process the data he has already.

    2) Their budget as a renter is too different from their budget as a homeowner to be particularly useful information. Not only are there expenses a homeowner has that a renter doesn't, but they're unlikely to rent a three-bedroom house, so it's very difficult to compare.

    3) They really love this house (or rather the girlfriend loves the house and the OP thinks it's too good for them which is basically the same thing). In a year it won't be on sale.

    Alternatively they can just live in the house for a year and if they are spending too much, spend less.
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