A Thread for After Debt?

Welcome easilyamused and well done for being able to maintain such a debt free life. I do agree that it depends on what you hold important and I have to say that I am one of those people that loves to travel not that that was the reason we got into debt, in fact we have had very few holidays as a family and certainly nothing expensive. In fact this holiday I have just booked will only be the second 'proper' holiday that my boys have been on. Any other trips have been to stay with family around the country, normally Scotland and Wales. I do go on holiday once a year with a friend and have done for a few years. That came about for two reasons, travelling is a passion of mine, maybe because I was an army child and lived abroad a lot. Secondaly because being a parent of a child with special needs can really take its toll. When I first went on holiday with my friend I was a full time SAH carer and going anywhere with my son was very difficult and after many years I was very depressed and my wonderful friend put her foot down and said i needed a break. Without it I hate to think what kind of parent, partner, person i would be. but we always went in the colder months and got amazing deals. I think you have to live a life that you are happy with and being DF certainly helps people do that.

JulieG I worry that I will never be able to afford the kind of home I want. At the moment we live in council housing but it is falling apart and the council are more interested in getting rid of the houses than fixing them and we did look into buying but the cost to fix this place up just makes it not worth it, even with a discount, we are talking serious structural damage I get seriously worried a wall will collapse. Our kitchen roof has collapsed twice and thats just the start of a long list of issues which have been ignored by the council over the past few years. Its a shame because i would probably have brought it otherwise just to get my foot on the housing ladder. The area we live in is so expensive to rent so I am grateful that we have a roof over our heads (for now) and we can't move out of the area because of my sons specialist school but I am determined to make some type of plan for next year. To think about it seriously though I would have to go back to work so its all about weighing up the options.

JulieGeorgiana wrote: »

Well done on your outlook on life... maybe an odd question but why is that? I wonder if it's upbringing? Because if so I would love tips on how to pass that to my children... I already encourage savings by offering DS 1% interest a month (he has £74.03 right now in his account) and I charge 100% on borrowing. He earns his money... and pays half of school trips and activities... buy's gifts himself, and treats. And if he wants branded shoes i'll give him whatever I was going to spend and he makes up the difference. It seems to be working, as he spend £120 on a trampoline but waited until winter to get it cheap... buys computer games in charity shops etc! But any and all wisdom gratefully recieved her... especially since it might not work on my daughter...

I think it has a bit to do with that, as my folks never were particularly extravagant with money (although we always had a holiday every year and I can't remember going without anything) I think my dad's always been sensible with money though - he's always been a saver and has often told me how the bank would try and get him to take out a bigger mortgage and he always turned them down and stayed with a fairly small one.
Interestingly though my older sister, who obviously had the same upbringing as me has got herself in a right pickle a number of times with money and ended up buying loads of nice things - clothes, flashy tv's, cars etc. I think maybe seeing what a mess she got into also made me see things a little differently perhaps.

I also wonder if I'm partly the way I am because I'm a bit of a control freak and like to have things orderly and sorted, and I think having a large debt that I struggled to pay would feel like I was out of control.

For what it's worth I think it sounds like you're doing wonders for teaching your children the value of money I think it's kids who have things bought for them at the drop of a hat whenever they want something, get raised on the want-it-now-get-it-now culture and (potentially) carry that attitude through into adulthood.

I think that's why people get so bored with all their shiny new toys so quickly too - if I have to save up for things over a number of months and have to be patient, to me it feels like it's so much more rewarding and valuable when I finally get it.

Sorry I think I'm wittering now... having a glass of wine waiting for dinner to cook and vinos always loosens my tongue :rotfl:

I always try and be open with my DS about my own debt problems... I tell him I want him to learn from my mistakes instead of his own! I also teach him as martin tells us too with his education reform... not all debt is bad debt, and teaching children that all debt is bad causes problems (ie. there needs to be a differentation between morgage debt and loans for things we need, such as a basic car to get to work and credit cards and loans for things we don't need, like a sports car!) so i do hope he will learn well and be able to make informed decisions when he is older.

next I am hoping to teach him the true cost of buying on credit (like on superscrimpers where a womans £60 handbag would end up costing her £96 by the time she paid it off!!!)!

I agree that saving makes things much more enjoyable... I saved for my breadmachine and I treat it like gold dust

JulieGeorgiana wrote: »

Can you still do this???

This is interesting... because MIL is desperate for us to buy!

mmmm (sorry eating a rather tasty lasagne!)

Depends on the bank .... many don't (HSBC, 1st Direct are two - they wouldn't even take me as they said the old mortgage would just be transferred with all the old t&cs - which is *%$£ as my new lender said that basically the old mortgage is settled and the new one is treated on it's own merits).

Try posting on the mortgages board - there's a few Advisers on there.

Or .... I went through Which? mortgage advisers - free, independent service & they tell you if there's a better product they can't arrange. I have to say, from my own experience, they were fantastic. http://www.whichmortgageadvisers.co.uk/?gclid=CIeluN-svK4CFYgifAodbA8bHA

Rising I would love a house in a little village, or better yet own my owm piece of woodland where i can build a little environmental house. Big dreams, empty pockets:D is your mortgage only £280? thats great, my rent is around £400 pm and trying to rent even a one/two bedroom flat in this area is at least £600/£700 unfurnished pm:eek: we would need a three bed house so no chance of privately renting. But I have heard that a mortgage can be cheaper pm than renting but i guess the problem is not the payments but actually getting the mortgage in the first place. We had been looking at moving abroad a few years back but healthcare and specialist education is a problem in most countries so I guess we are here in this country for another 5 years at least.

I may have to do some lurking on the mortgage boards for some inspiration.

JulieG yay on the baby massage. I learnt how to do it with all of mine and even now at 10,12 and 19 they plonk themselves in front of me with massage demands:D