Mother in law taking photos of inside my house

1235712

Comments

  • RebekahR
    RebekahR Posts: 5,980 Forumite
    Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Post First Anniversary
    duchy wrote: »
    Yes the OP is a long time poster and isn't trolling . <Hi Becca>
    I'd make sure I wasn't dependent on her for any help and arrange for hubby to take the kids to hers instead.
    We had a similar scenario with my Dad's much older sister (she was old enough to be my Mum's MIL ). It wasn't til. I was grown up I realised why although we saw her regularly it was less than once a year at our house. Dad was sent to visit her with us kids and Mum was usually "too busy" to go with us. When I was about 15 she forgot herself and critiqued my Mum in front of me (she was always critical of family behind their back but had the sense not to do it about Mum in front of me. ) when she realised I meant it when I said I wasn't having it (15 years old and no filter) she stopped and never did it again.
    And yes it's about time he grew a pair but if he hasn't done it yet he likely won't so be a bit creative.
    And it's not HIS house, it's joint marital property !!
    Hi! Oh I hope my 7 year old turns out like you. I'm having to educate her already because over summer when MIL took them to the park she had a go at her. She asked if she likes a tidy house, who does the most housework, and told her how wrong it was to have such an untidy messy house. I don't mind she doesn't like it that's ok. But to bring a small child into it is totally wrong!
  • Marvel1
    Marvel1 Posts: 7,171 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    edited 13 October 2019 at 10:22PM
    That's her banned from the house!

    Over the top I know, but it seriously cheese me off.
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker Xmas Saver!
    RebekahR wrote: »
    Hi! Oh I hope my 7 year old turns out like you. I'm having to educate her already because over summer when MIL took them to the park she had a go at her. She asked if she likes a tidy house, who does the most housework, and told her how wrong it was to have such an untidy messy house. I don't mind she doesn't like it that's ok. But to bring a small child into it is totally wrong!

    Even at 15 I told it like it is ....as you know nothing changed ;)
    Seriously , bringing the kids into it I'd have gone ballistic !
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 9,340 Forumite
    First Anniversary Photogenic Name Dropper First Post
    Tell her due to the mess you've got an infestation of "something" to keep her away!!!;) (although it sounds like she'd then probably ring social services!!)

    Seriously, how have you managed not to completely lose your **** with her!!!! I bet your tongue must be bruised from all the biting!

    Without your hubby on board, to put his foot down with her, then I think you'll forever be on a hide into nothing on this one, sad as that is. Like you say, if she was actually being helpful and taking direction on how/what needed doing, her need to clean could be a good thing....free labour, but not if she's doing everything wrong.

    You could always try the "water pistol technique"....every time she does or says anything inappropriate...give her a squirt!!! It works on next doors cat!!!:D
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.31% of current retirement "pot" (as at end March 2024)
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,655 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Savvy Shopper!
    It sounds like a 3 way toxic relationship. :(
    I'm sure it can't be good for the children.
    The only good thing is that the visits aren't that often.

    And NeilCr - it's getting crowded in your parallel universe...;)
  • I had the stepmother from hell'

    She came once when I had not tidied away the toys, she was disgusted. She was even more disgusted that we had not replaced the carpet because she was coming.

    To cut a long story short I ended up telling her to leave, never saw her or my father again.

    She had long since psychologically destroyed my father, we could not have a phone conversation without her insisting on an add on at the end. One time I was informed that I did not need to wear my glasses all the time (I do) and she knew because she was a medical professional (a dentist!!!) and another time I was informed I needed to lose 8 stone urgently (I was at that time 11 stone!!).

    So yes, I believe what the OP says, and I believe there has been a lot more going on.

    OP, it is your home as well as your husband's, it is up to you how you keep it. Personally I would get a CCTV or somesuch and put it in the lounge or whatever room she likes to interfere with, and keep a very close eye on her.
    What is this life if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare
  • coffeehound
    coffeehound Posts: 5,656 Forumite
    First Anniversary Photogenic Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    RebekahR wrote: »
    Like her coming into our bedorom when she wants - oh yes she knocks - as shes opening the door ... Or bringing him coffee to wake him up in the morning. Oh yes that could been seen as sweet. But I don't want waking that early or to have her irritating voice the first thing I hear the second I wake up

    Good grief :eek: Well that's the room to get the Yale lock fitted to, then!
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,655 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Savvy Shopper!
    The trouble with these sort of threads is that we never get to hear both sides of the story!

    The OP presents / spins one set of "facts", presumably in the hope that lots of people will make sympathetic comments.....
    I wonder what a thread from the MIL's perspective would read like...
  • Undervalued
    Undervalued Posts: 8,843 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    edited 14 October 2019 at 10:35AM
    Pollycat wrote: »
    I wonder what a thread from the MIL's perspective would read like...

    Quite!

    The OP clearly only wants sympathetic responses. Maybe she fully deserves them? Maybe she doesn't? We will never know!
  • RebekahR
    RebekahR Posts: 5,980 Forumite
    Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Post First Anniversary
    I had the stepmother from hell'

    She came once when I had not tidied away the toys, she was disgusted. She was even more disgusted that we had not replaced the carpet because she was coming.

    To cut a long story short I ended up telling her to leave, never saw her or my father again.

    She had long since psychologically destroyed my father, we could not have a phone conversation without her insisting on an add on at the end. One time I was informed that I did not need to wear my glasses all the time (I do) and she knew because she was a medical professional (a dentist!!!) and another time I was informed I needed to lose 8 stone urgently (I was at that time 11 stone!!).

    So yes, I believe what the OP says, and I believe there has been a lot more going on.

    OP, it is your home as well as your husband's, it is up to you how you keep it. Personally I would get a CCTV or somesuch and put it in the lounge or whatever room she likes to interfere with, and keep a very close eye on her.


    Replace the carpet!! omg! LOL :eek: You win on that one!Good idea on the cctv/webcam type set up. I know I wish I was making all this tosh up for a story. I could then just relax and enjoy the fun (having fun with debitas thread on this board style anyone?!). But alas no it really is real life and toxic yes! Thankfully she goes home tomorrow.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 343.1K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.6K Spending & Discounts
  • 235.2K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.8K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 173K Life & Family
  • 247.8K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards