Moral Support Needed On My Mortgage-Free Journey

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  • cat04
    cat04 Posts: 644
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    Haha I'm not always productive :o
    Sold something on FB to be collected on Friday, although the money is being split between the DDs as it's theirs. Still it's something out of the house! Had a walk to the chemist and called in at the charity shop to check they're taking donations as when I popped in the other week they were full.

    Funny how a day can change how you feel. Yesterday morning I sat on the bed and cried as I just felt overwhelmed by everything. Today I've been out in the sun and am getting little jobs done. Talking on here is helping so much already! It holds me accountable to what I've said in my head I want to do regarding the mortgage and finances, plus it feels like I'm talking to someone other than my children - they don't have the same level of interest in finances that you guys do :rotfl:
    Extra savings aim for 2020 £4,000 £0/£4,000
    Original MF date Feb 2025. Currently Feb 2030:eek: Aiming for Jan 2025 :T
    Mortgage at [STRIKE]10/19 - £47,200[/STRIKE] 11/19 - £46,615
    :heart:My girls keep me going:heart:
  • paddyz
    paddyz Posts: 175
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    Good luck cat, it’s really hard at times but I’m sure you will did it!

    I’ve been let down with my partners in life but if always managed not only to cope but to do really well after the breakups, just time and good budgeting, that’s sometimes easier to do when you are single

    Hope you get more work soon too xx
    Mortgage start Oct 12 £104,500
    current May 20 -£56,290_£52,067
    term 9 years aiming on being mortgage free by 7
    Weight Up & down 14st 7lb
  • cat04
    cat04 Posts: 644
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    Thank you :)
    It really is hard, although I'd always been the one who sorted anything financial and balanced the books so to speak (he was not financially savvy at all!) it's scary having 100% of the responsibility, especially when you have children to support. Messing up for me is one thing,, but I can't let them down. Every decision is solely down to me now, well it always kinda was but at least I could ask for his opinion.

    I think I mentioned in another post that since he's gone I haven't once had to move money about from savings to current account to cover a larger than usual credit card bill due to his hobby spending (that he was always going to sell something else to cover the cost of :huh: )

    I must sound awful pointing out all his bad points, he was lovely and we had good times together, he came along just at the right time for me. But he ruined all that with now he treated me at the end and it's lifted those rose tinted glasses right off my face!!

    I'm enjoying the 1 day a week for the time being, the first part of the year up to the summer holidays was jam packed full, which I needed at the time, but I need the breather. January should bring me at least 2 days if not more :)

    I got in touch with a friend who works at a bank and I knew had dealings with mortgages. She's not an adviser but is going to sit down with me next week to look at what options are open to me in terms of taking on the mortgage myself and getting him removed from the mortgage/deeds. It's scary to think it'll all be on my shoulders but it's the final tie to cut (apart from getting divorced), they'll be nothing joint left between us which is just what I want (and need!)
    Extra savings aim for 2020 £4,000 £0/£4,000
    Original MF date Feb 2025. Currently Feb 2030:eek: Aiming for Jan 2025 :T
    Mortgage at [STRIKE]10/19 - £47,200[/STRIKE] 11/19 - £46,615
    :heart:My girls keep me going:heart:
  • twinklie
    twinklie Posts: 5,049
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    Ahh you aren’t bad for pointing out the negatives. Hell my DH is awful with money and a massive liability. He does my head in. That said, he’s a good bloke so it’s a minor price to pay. If our relationship went through what yours did, well, I’m sure the bashing would begin (I do moan about him quite a bit tbf).

    You’re very non specific with the moaning and there’s no naming and shaming going on, so don’t give it a second thought.

    I think I’d probably want to cut ties ASAP as well.
    Reduction in daily mortgage interest since October 23 - £0.31 (started new mortgage)
    % of house owned/% of mortgage paid off. December 23 - 32.30%/24.54%
    MFiT-T6 #5
    MFW 2024 #6
    MF Date: Oct 37 May 37
  • cat04
    cat04 Posts: 644
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    twinklie wrote: »
    Ahh you aren’t bad for pointing out the negatives. Hell my DH is awful with money and a massive liability. He does my head in. That said, he’s a good bloke so it’s a minor price to pay. If our relationship went through what yours did, well, I’m sure the bashing would begin (I do moan about him quite a bit tbf).

    You’re very non specific with the moaning and there’s no naming and shaming going on, so don’t give it a second thought.

    I think I’d probably want to cut ties ASAP as well.

    Thank you, my friends have said how calm and nice I've been over the whole thing. I could have trashed his stuff or made a scene in public at one of his gigs, or put it all over social media, but that's just not me. He still had things here until late on in the summer holidays. In hindsight I was too soft on him in terms of that and he took the pee a bit leaving stuff here and not making arrangements to collect it...but I had strong words over text telling him to sort it out and now there is no trace of him here :)
    Extra savings aim for 2020 £4,000 £0/£4,000
    Original MF date Feb 2025. Currently Feb 2030:eek: Aiming for Jan 2025 :T
    Mortgage at [STRIKE]10/19 - £47,200[/STRIKE] 11/19 - £46,615
    :heart:My girls keep me going:heart:
  • cat04
    cat04 Posts: 644
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    Ok so I should focus on the money side of things now lol.

    Two bags to charity shop on Tuesday, listed a few bits on FB and have sold two already. Small TV & DVD player for £10 to be collected tomorrow and money split between DDs. Pasta maker from my mum to sell and put funds towards our bedroom decoration/total renovation, being collected on Sat so that's £10 in that fund. Just as well as I bought a new bed and mattress and CC bill comes out in a couple of weeks! Totally covered by my home improvements savings account though :)
    Got a few more bits to put on FB and have some pricier bits to put on ebay next time they have a max £1 selling fee weekend - missed the last one!

    Few more surveys done, edging ever closer to cashing out. Downloaded an app to earn money off your mobile phone bill so will see how that goes.
    Extra savings aim for 2020 £4,000 £0/£4,000
    Original MF date Feb 2025. Currently Feb 2030:eek: Aiming for Jan 2025 :T
    Mortgage at [STRIKE]10/19 - £47,200[/STRIKE] 11/19 - £46,615
    :heart:My girls keep me going:heart:
  • Hi cat04, I am sorry to hear what you have gone through - you do sound like you are finding the positives from it all though. Don't forget to look after yourself :)

    Well done on the overpayments - that's an amazing amount to OP when you are working one day a week (I am very jealous of this btw...). Cheering you on!
    01.05.2019 - Re-Mortgage - £142,000 :eek::eek::eek: Total overpaid to date: £15,584.33.
    MFW #52 £9000/£12000
  • paddyz
    paddyz Posts: 175
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    Sounds like you are heading in the right direction cat, make sure any financial agreements is done legally, he could promise you everything regarding the house but then change his mind, especially once he is in a relationship he could be getting advice from new partner, that would be my first goal if I was in your shoes, once you have a proper legal agreement in black and white you know exactly what the future plans are and same peace of mind for him too
    Mortgage start Oct 12 £104,500
    current May 20 -£56,290_£52,067
    term 9 years aiming on being mortgage free by 7
    Weight Up & down 14st 7lb
  • jenni_fer
    jenni_fer Posts: 529
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    Happy new diary!

    Sounds like you've been on quite a journey, and are doing an amazing job. What a great example you are setting for those girls; strong, independent Mum!

    Will be following your progress with interest and plenty of moral support!
  • cat04
    cat04 Posts: 644
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    Hi cat04, I am sorry to hear what you have gone through - you do sound like you are finding the positives from it all though. Don't forget to look after yourself :)

    Well done on the overpayments - that's an amazing amount to OP when you are working one day a week (I am very jealous of this btw...). Cheering you on!
    I'm trying! And trying to look after myself too, I know sometimes I am too hard on myself . I was too scared to OP by too much at the start of the year 'just in case' when I was doing 3 then 4 days a week lol. Ended up just rounding the mortgage total by paying say £8.72 lol. The numbers have been crunched and for the time being I can cover the interest payment too so as soon as it gets added on I OP by that amount :)
    paddyz wrote: »
    Sounds like you are heading in the right direction cat, make sure any financial agreements is done legally, he could promise you everything regarding the house but then change his mind, especially once he is in a relationship he could be getting advice from new partner, that would be my first goal if I was in your shoes, once you have a proper legal agreement in black and white you know exactly what the future plans are and same peace of mind for him too

    Defintely! All going to be done through a solicitor when the time comes. At a very minimum I have the declaration of trust which covers say I get the first £72k of equity, and I hope he'll stand by what he says. he's not a nasty person, he's just made some bad choices. His laziness would actually stop him taking things further and fighting for more. Because that equals time and solicitors fees ;)

    My plan is once I've seen my banking friend next week and seen what my options are re the mortgage I'll arrange to meet up with him to discuss what we're going to do and figures etc. I don't want him to walk away with nothing, (although I must say a very small part of me thinks sod you, you don't deserve it! He wouldn't be getting anything if it wasn't for me as we could quite possibly never have managed to save a deposit to buy anywhere without my divorce settlement. I wonder what he'd say if I propsed that he gets nothing as his share of the mortgage was just rent :rotfl::rotfl: Will just point out that's a joke!). Another part of me thinks what is be going to do with his share of the money when he gets it?? Save it?? Not likely. Get on the housing ladder?? Slightly less likely. Spend it?? More than likely! He could surprise me though...
    Extra savings aim for 2020 £4,000 £0/£4,000
    Original MF date Feb 2025. Currently Feb 2030:eek: Aiming for Jan 2025 :T
    Mortgage at [STRIKE]10/19 - £47,200[/STRIKE] 11/19 - £46,615
    :heart:My girls keep me going:heart:
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