Dan's desperate dash towards solvency

So it's the start of a new week and I'm determined it's going to be a better one, rules for this week...

No 'adding up' debt totals. It doesn't help me

No stressing over my wife's small debts- store cards and overdraft. She is dealing with these so that I don't have to think about it

Dont think about money all day everyday

Stop beating myself up and remind myself that I can fix this

Forget the total balance. It won't change if I constantly obsess over it

Focus on next payment



Let's see how this week goes

This has been my best morning since the start of all this. Got up early and went for a run. Exercise definitely helps to clear my head. I slept really well last night. I am finding that I am not thinking about money last thing at night, although I still wake up thinking about each morning. Hopefully this will fade in time.

Today I have got a really busy day. The plan is to just forget about the money stuff until next week when pay day arrives.

I went for another long walk with my lovely dad last night. He has been my rock through all of this and has really helped to pull me through. He has reminded me constantly that my debt is manageable and that he is more concerned about my health. Last night he told me that he doesn't want to hear anymore numbers when we are discussing it as he isn't interested in what we owe. He has also urged me to not share specific details with anyone else ( I have a tendency to overshare and almost 'confess')

I really feel like things are starting to pick up for me. I think that I really did hot rock bottom a couple of weeks ago. I still don't feel 'normal', but I am feeling a little better each day. I am really looking forward to the Easter break. We are going to head down to the coast for a few low cost days ( staying in a borrowed caravan). My aim is to not think about the debt at all during this break.

I had a real moment of clarity this morning. I woke up feeling a bit rubbish ( mornings are when my mind goes haywire and I start overthinking). My wife,who has been wonderful, reminded me that we have almost completed month 1, that everything has been fine, we haven't felt deprived and that there is nothing to worry about. She is totally right. This month we have managed to pay a massive chunk of debt (£1600), have the car MOT'd and serviced and PAID IN CASH. Paid for a present for a 'big' birthday for a family member that we were committed to IN CASH ( £100). We have managed to have a nice night out together. M wife has been out for a curry and to the theatre. I also had to deal with some bank charges ( £65) from last month, when were still living our 'old life' We are now at the end of month 1 and we have about £250 left!!!! I can't remember us EVER having money left at the end of the month, so this shows just what we can achieve when we work together.

Another positive change is that I feel that my relationship with my wife has actually improved. I had definitely underestimated the distance that I had created by not fostering a more open approach to our money and debt. I feel like we have really moved up a level. I used to constantly worry about being able to move to a bigger house, get a better car, etc but in reality none of that stuff really matters a great deal. Yes, we probably will move house in a few years when the debt has gone, but actually our current house is fine. It's a 3 bed semi with nice neighbours and more than big enough for the 3 of us. New car? Yes, but not until my current one 'passes away'. I have always worried about what people would think of me/us if we didn't live in a decent postcode or have the best car etc, but those things suddenly seem so unimportant.

I HAVEN'T USED MY CREDIT CARDS FOR ALMOST A MONTH!!!

I can really see that this could actually be a positive experience for us in the long term.