Wait for Babies?

Little_Miss_Giggles_3 · 15 April 2007 at 3:02PM

Hi everyone

I just wanted to ask your opinions really about having a baby. My soon to be husband and I have put off having a baby until my loan is paid off which will be in another 3 years. I will be about 30/31 then.

I have just seen one of my friends who is expecting a baby in August and she was surprised to hear I was going to wait until the debt is paid off. She said her and her husband would be waiting forever to pay off all their debts and reckons there is never a right time.

I told her my view is that if I've got loan to pay, I have to keep working until it's paid off but she thought we would get by anyway.

Now she has got me thinking that perhaps we should just go ahead and start trying.

So what do you guys and gals think? Just after some opinions really.

Thanks xx

skylight · 15 April 2007 at 3:13PM

Put together a realistic budget. How much can you save, can you pay off the debt faster etc.

Your friend is right. You do find ways to get by (tightening belts etc - hence a realistic budget) and its never a right time for kids! You will never be "rich" enough, have saved enough or be debt-free enough!

Whats more important is that you and your partner (soon-to-be-hubby!) have more than enough love to go round.

But, you do acknowledge that you have this debt, so serious budget will go some way to showing you where you can make savings. When you have a baby and give up work, its more than just the loan that you need to think about.

I am 32 and just had my fourth. Had my first at 19, the other two in my late 20's very early 30's and the last one really took it out of me - getting too old and too tired! And this was the first one that I wasn't working full-time throughout pregnancy! Another consideration for you!

Dithering_Dad · 15 April 2007 at 3:19PM

Kids bring such joy to your lives that you can never put a price on them.

Saying that, they are a really expensive hobby!!

You'll always have one financial issue or another throughout your life and if you wait until they're all sorted you'll be retired! You may take a while to conceive anyway - there are no guarantees.

Go for it, your life will never be the same again (but in a good way!!)

Snaggles · 15 April 2007 at 3:31PM

Despite what you read in the papers, babies are not that expensive either - you usually get given loads of stuff, particularly if it's your first. You can breast feed them exclusively for 6 months, so you don't have to buy any food for them at all, and use re-useable nappies or shop around for bargains on disposables etc.

The biggest expense is clothes (George & Tescos do baby stuff for really good prices, or spend a bit more in places like Next and then sell on eBay when they grow out of them), and the 'big' items like cots, prams etc, but again, you can spend hundreds on the very latest travel system with integrated ABS and satnav (joking), or you can buy much more cheaply (or even get things free from Freecycle, or from friends and relatives).

You do find ways of managing, and kids bring so much to your life - yes they are tiring, hard work, etc etc, but there's nothing like it when they give you a big cuddle and say 'I love you Mummy'.

skylight · 15 April 2007 at 3:37PM

Even clothes are not really that bad. I bought Ruby all hers from Ebay - large bundles of Newborns and other baby sizes sell for next to nothing.

I have kitted her out up to Newborn to 6 months (mainly Next) for about £30 (inc delivery) in total, across several orders and all stuff that has barely (if ever) been worn.

Friends and family have bought her new stuff - used Nectar points for Adams (can't now though!) for her sleepsuits and snowsuit, so all in all she has been a cheap baby.

Do not forget benefits. Child benefit, depending on salaries then there is child tax credit, and *most* families recieve a maternity Grant of £500 (in your case claim after baby is born), plus maternity pay for 6 months (?) all add up to help the household income.

Dithering_Dad · 15 April 2007 at 3:41PM

Snaggles wrote: »

.. but there's nothing like it when they give you a big cuddle and say 'I love you Mummy'.

Or "Daddy"

I still remember the first time - I was sat on the floor in front of the DVD player, putting a "Barnie" DVD on for my little one, when I felt these tiny yet strangely powerful arms grabbing me around my throat, a big cheek crushing into my eye socket and an amazingly loud "I love you Daddy" shouted down my lughole.

I like to think that she needed to tell me she loved me because I am such a wonderful Dad, rather than because I was putting her favourite DVD on. Tsk, that damned purple dinosaur.. how can you compete??

kinkypixie · 15 April 2007 at 3:48PM

There was someone on here the other day with exactly the same questions. I will also have to wait til I'm around 30 before I'm debt free, and also worry about having children.

As I read through many of the replies, most said that it was relatively cheap to bring up a baby/toddler. It just requires good planning.

Another great suggestion I read was to just try living off you OH's salary, as that is what it would be like when you take time out to have the baby.

I do agree that there will never be a good time, but there might be a better time when you feel more comfortable

Good Luck!

Snaggles · 15 April 2007 at 3:51PM

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

Or "Daddy"

Yes, sorry.....or Daddy!

I know what you mean about being in competition with a big purple dinosaur - I have to compete with the Power Rangers for my son's affection these days lol!

GirlRacer_2 · 15 April 2007 at 3:52PM

I got pregnant with my DS in 1994, DD in 1997. I was in debt in 1994 and 1997 and I'm still in debt 13 years later. At least now I've had my lightbulb moment I'm trying to get myself out of it.

If I'd have planned to have my children, I'd probably still be childless. There's never a right time, there's always something to do - another holiday, a bigger house, an extension a new car etc etc.

postingalwaysposting · 15 April 2007 at 3:54PM

i agree with most people on here you can afford childen while in debt, you just have to have a strict budget and also as snaggles says there are many ways around all the pricey things, if you and your oh feel its the right time then i think you should go for it, you arnt getting any younger

Dithering_Dad · 15 April 2007 at 4:13PM

It's weird that all the women posters are talking about finances and the men posters (only me I think, though this is a sweeping generalisation) talk only of the love and joy of having kids. The world has turned on it's head!! When did women get so mercenary!

Oh go on, I'll allow 1 point to the girls because of Snaggle's comments.

Wait for Babies?

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