Birthday celebrations - paying for own meal
Jellyb
Posts: 29 Forumite
My friend is planning her birthday celebrations. (50 at the start of the year.) She said she would like to go to a restaurant hotel with a private room/space where she could host a meal.
This sounded great until I heard the price - £40 a head. This sounds fine until I read the menu choices - very basic starters, desserts and the mains - macaroni cheese, chicken and mushroom pasta, gammon steak or a burger.
Am I being unreasonable - to me this sounds expensive especially when I took the prices from their menu and to have the most expensive starter, main and dessert, large wine, soft drink and a coffee and it would still come to less than £40
I don't want to be a wet blanket - but when you include drinks, coffee and taxi home - it turns out to be an expensive deal.
p.s. 'Guests' have also been told what she would like for a present.
This sounded great until I heard the price - £40 a head. This sounds fine until I read the menu choices - very basic starters, desserts and the mains - macaroni cheese, chicken and mushroom pasta, gammon steak or a burger.
Am I being unreasonable - to me this sounds expensive especially when I took the prices from their menu and to have the most expensive starter, main and dessert, large wine, soft drink and a coffee and it would still come to less than £40
I don't want to be a wet blanket - but when you include drinks, coffee and taxi home - it turns out to be an expensive deal.
p.s. 'Guests' have also been told what she would like for a present.
Sealed Pot Challenge -13 No 080
Target £500 - £493.11 to go!
Target £500 - £493.11 to go!
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Comments
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The present thing sounds rather cheeky - I guess it's similar to what people do with weddings but I've not heard of it for birthdays (if friends/family ask I will give them a suggestion but keep it modest / in line with what we typically spend on each other, I'd never ask otherwise)
As for the event - is it just a meal or does it include any entertainment or might it include some drinks? If it includes neither it sounds a bit of a rip off, but then judging by what some places charge for weddings, hotels do seem to be ready to charge rather a lot for having exclusive use of part of a venue.
I guess the question is whether you can afford it and whether this friend is someone who matters enough that you'd want to be there and suck up the costs even if it doesn't seem good value for money?0 -
You're probably having to pay more because of the private room. Still seems a bit cheeky of your friend though. Tell her straight you can't afford it, and see if she changes the venue. You won't be the only one.
I haven't bogged off yet, and I ain't no babe
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It's not a completely private room - just an area that will be marked off. Unfortunately, the price doesn't include any drinks and any deviation from her chosen menu (ie regular chips instead of sweet potato fries) will cost extra.
It feels like the staff at the hotel have done a very good job at flattering her by telling her it's her day and all the menu choices should be her personal favourites. There is no way she would change the venue. She seems to think this is a very good deal. My partner suggested the extra cost might be because she gets her meal for free! I wouldn't be surprised.
As for the presents - vouchers or money towards a new tattoo or Adopt a Hedgehog. I'm considering doing the MSE way and suggesting she and I have a 'No-Present-Pact' as my birthday is a few months later...Sealed Pot Challenge -13 No 080
Target £500 - £493.11 to go!0 -
If you feel it's too expensive or don't like the menu choices, just decline the invitation.
And tell her you'll choose what present you'll get her.
How presumptuous!
Actually, I'd tell her to forget a gift.0 -
I don't think her present requests are unreasonable, she has given everyone the option to spend as much or little as they like, there is also a choice for a gift for her or to give to charity. Its not as if she is asking for all expensive items with no budget options,
If the restaurant are changing more than what the standard menu price is, it seems she has got ripped off, but there isn't much you can do about that. If the price does include her meal nothing wrong in that when I go out with friends for birthday its standard the bill is split between everyone excluding the birthday person.0 -
My friend is planning her birthday celebrations. (50 at the start of the year.) She said she would like to go to a restaurant hotel with a private room/space where she could host a meal.
This sounded great until I heard the price - £40 a head. This sounds fine until I read the menu choices - very basic starters, desserts and the mains - macaroni cheese, chicken and mushroom pasta, gammon steak or a burger.
Am I being unreasonable - to me this sounds expensive especially when I took the prices from their menu and to have the most expensive starter, main and dessert, large wine, soft drink and a coffee and it would still come to less than £40
I don't want to be a wet blanket - but when you include drinks, coffee and taxi home - it turns out to be an expensive deal.
p.s. 'Guests' have also been told what she would like for a present.
If you can't afford it then it's simple. You don't go.
If you can afford but don't want to go, just let her know it's not your kind of food. But you'd love to go for coffee or drinks with her another time.
As for being told what she would like, saves you having to ask I suppose.
If it was my friend I'd go as it's her birthday, her choice and I'd want to spend it with her. If it was just someone I knew. but not close to, I probably wouldn't go.Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....0 -
What would you normally expect to pay for a birthday meal out and a present for a 'big' birthday?0
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iammumtoone wrote: »I don't think her present requests are unreasonable, she has given everyone the option to spend as much or little as they like, there is also a choice for a gift for her or to give to charity. Its not as if she is asking for all expensive items with no budget options,
If I want to give to charity, it will be my choice of charity, not someone else's.
I think she's being really cheeky specifying what she wants.
But then, I don't like being shown a wedding present list.
[QUOTE=iammumtoone;73207185
If the restaurant are changing more than what the standard menu price is, it seems she has got ripped off, but there isn't much you can do about that. If the price does include her meal nothing wrong in that when I go out with friends for birthday its standard the bill is split between everyone excluding the birthday person.[/QUOTE]
The OP can decline to go to the meal - that's what she can do.
The OP doesn't say if it's standard procedure within their circle for guests to pay for the meal of the birthday person.
If it isn't, there is something wrong with expecting the other guests to pay for her meal.0 -
Could you start a conversation with her along the lines of 'How come they're charging £40 a head when I've priced the most expensive starter, main and dessert off their regular menu and it comes to £x cheaper'
You might get an explanation of something you're unaware of or she might realise she's being ripped off.
Just a thought whilst typing, some places put on an extra charge on meals for parties over a certain size. Might that be the reason?0 -
If I want to give to charity, it will be my choice of charity, not someone else's.
I think she's being really cheeky specifying what she wants.
But then, I don't like being shown a wedding present list.
The OP can decline to go to the meal - that's what she can do.
The OP doesn't say if it's standard procedure within their circle for guests to pay for the meal of the birthday person.
If it isn't, there is something wrong with expecting the other guests to pay for her meal.
each to their own, I suppose it one of those times 'you can't do right for doing wrong'. I'd love that option I could give up to what value I wanted and have no objection giving to a charity of a persons choice. In this situation I would probably give half for the tattoo and half for the charity. I like to be told what to get as I would much rather buy something wanted than something that would be put in a drawer and forgotten about.
Take your point about this might not be the way of the OPs circle of friends but I don't think its that unusual. Of course if on everyone elses birthday the birthday girl/boy pays for the whole party then it is out of order.0
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