Unsolicited message?

moneysaverz83 wrote: »

- I'm not asking advice if I should chat to someone. I'm asking if I should drop someone an online message to someone I've never spoken to and may not cross paths with again.


Nope - definitely not. If she was keen, she would be going back to the class.

- if she doesn't know I'm going as I don't mark myself as attending officially, then she may or may not go


Then 'mark yourself' as attending (no idea what that is - an online register type thing? Just say you're going and go).

- I'm not intending on 'adding' anyone. It's more: should I message X because I quite liked them, and the feeling may possibly slightly be mutual, especially if I may not cross with them next time (of course, will wait til next time, which happens to be around Valentine's, so maybe next time+few days)

Messaging them, adding them - same level of creepiness in my book. Definitely not. If someone did that to me, I would think it was incredibly stalkerish (as mentioned above) or my BF would want to know what I'd been doing/saying to make them think I liked them enough to approach me! Very awkward if I'm there going 'I've not even spoken to the bloke!'. Again, just weird.

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I don't think it is a good idea for you to facebook stalk and message her before you've actually spoken in person.

She's probably just block you.

Definitely.

I’m in the don’t message her group

However. I’m not sure how old you are. I suspect that the majority of us are in a more senior age band than you so may have a different take on communications than those bought up in the social media era.

I assume from the “say you are going” FB Page that it is a simple matter for you to know her name. So, it would appear that you wouldn’t have had to dig to find her.

I still, personally, don’t think you should but, if you do do keep it very neutral. Waiting and seeing if she attends again is good.

I’d also echo the comments about not reading too much into a smile. In my experience men can be pretty rubbish at reading signals - and I know people who have had the same type of experiences as unholyangel.

I do think there's a generational thing going on - I wouldn't find it creepy for somebody to find my Facebook page from an event. That's kind of what it's for, isn't it, to see who else is going and have a nosy at their public profiles?!

OP, it sounds like you don't like using Facebook much but you could post a comment or two on the event's page. If your profile is pretty locked down, only what you post on the event would be viewable to the public. If she might like you too, you might find she replies and then you have a conversation started.

Are you considered attractive OP?

Do women usually tend to respond positively to you on the basis of your appearance alone?

If not, it may be safer to assume she was just being friendly and not message her until she's had time to get to know, and hopefully like, you.

How old are you ? In the modern era of tinder plenty of fish etc This is a perfectly normal thing now.

Chuck her a Facebook add, and leave it if she accepts pm her if she doesn’t just move on