Debt and Mental Health - How have your debts affected you?

paulx132 · 21 May 2018 at 7:19PM

I think my debts added to my mental health problems.

I,ve suffered from depression and anxiety for years but am managing it much better now.

I started gambling at the age of 12 when my family moved to Blackpool. I was always in debt to my parents or brother and sister after constantly stealing from them to feed my addiction.

I left home at 16 and continued to gamble which caused all sorts of money problems - mainly not being able to keep up with rent which resulted in me being homeless for periods of time.

The only thing which really stopped my gambling was getting addicted to heroin in my early 20,s as i,d found something more important to spend my money on.

When the internet came out a few years later i got every loan and credit card i could even if it meant lying on my applications.

I didn,t really care at the time about having these debts and the bailiffs coming round as i had nothing they could take anyway.

It wasn,t until my late 30,s when i started to get help for my addictions and ended up going to rehab for 6 months. I realised then i had to sort my life out and would include all the debts i,d incurred over the years.

Once you wake up from heroin addiction and stay clean you have to face up to everything you,ve done in the past which is very stressful to say the least. I started to open my letters and with the help off a debt advisor from my local council i started to pay them off one by one.

Its taken a few years but i am now debt free - well i thought i was until this morning when i received an old debt letter - hence the reason i joined this site.

I am now in a much better position to deal with it though and certainly won,t let it worry me as i have done over the last few years. I actually like receiving post nowadays as i know its not bills and debt letters. Like others have mentioned i didn,t open mail for years.

I can,t explain the feeling when you,ve been in debt all your life and you finally face the debts and deal with them . Such a relief

I am still very wary about what i spend my money on. (probably too much) My girlfriend wanted to go on holiday last year but i just couldn,t justify spending the money. All i want to do now is save

PS - My only bit of advice to people is - if your worrying about your debts don,t bury your head in the sand and hope it will go away.(Theres loads of help out there nowadays) Its the worry that adds to or causes mental health problems imo -

sniggle · 28 May 2018 at 12:16PM

Hi
I have PTSD, major depressive disorder, insomnia and Borderline Personality Disorder.
I have been sectioned twice (once voluntarily) and a few serious suicide attempts.

I am a qualified teacher and was bullied at work once they knew my condition. With my unions support I left with a settlement but had a major relapse with my mental health. I had to take just under a year off work. My psychiatrist and recovery worker first said I was unfit to work and as time went on was told I could work part time. I funded some of this time with the settlement until I ran out of money.

I claimed benefits and tried to get on the council housing list as I rent a 1 bed flat and it was far too expensive as I wasn't working. I don't have young children and a phone call with the council resulted in them telling me it was my own fault for renting a more expensive flat. It isn't expensive, it's just that the rent includes water and electricity. This lead to rent arrears and bill arrears. I was going round in circles and sinking further down.

In January this year, I grabbed myself by the heels and registered with a supply agency to see how I would cope. I loved it. The trouble with supply is that you don't get paid for school holidays, bank holidays, polling day (we had one) and I didn't get paid for a snow day we had, plus it's weekly pay.

I have now secured a full time job from September and have been in touch with Stepchange. I have £25000 debt. With half term now (no pay) and the 6 week holiday looming (no pay) I am not coping well.

I am almost 50 and single. I just don't see anything getting better. Yes I have a full time job coming but it will still take tears and years to pay off the debt. I have no sizeable pension so will have to work til I drop. I'm struggling to see the point. I keep being told that things will get better but I just can't see it. I will have no spare money for the foreseeable future, no pension as such. I'm starting to sink again and I've only just come back up.

Everything links to each other. Mental health worsened by debt and other things. Debt won't get better so mental health worsens. It's a viscious circle .

I just don't know how to see any positives for the future.

anfieldred · 5 June 2018 at 12:54PM

I dont think it can be under-estimated how damaging this can be to people's lives. I'm waiting on a remortgage application that has dragged on for weeks, I'm not sleeping because of it as it will help clear debt, am getting nowhere with them, been rejected by other lenders, now I'm getting radio silence from them. I've been considering withdrawing my application and accepting defeat, and selling the house and trying to start again

MissG80 · 6 June 2018 at 6:59PM

I remember getting my student loan and spending it on a stereo from Richer Sounds (lasted for years), that was my one big spend and worked part time through Uni but still had to go to the hardship fund and maxed out my overdraft. I was very lucky as I had a lucrative waitressing job so could pay it off.

I spent my 20s doing not very well paid jobs, eventually it picked up but now I have a stressful job so I am always over spending, currently down to about £6k to repay. It's hard not to feel a bit hard done by modern society sometimes. You just want enough to spend, enough to live, enough to save. Doesn't have to be extravagant. I just can't wait to be rid of the debt once and for all.

MissG80 · 6 June 2018 at 7:08PM

sniggle wrote: »

Hi
I have PTSD, major depressive disorder, insomnia and Borderline Personality Disorder.
I have been sectioned twice (once voluntarily) and a few serious suicide attempts.

I am a qualified teacher and was bullied at work once they knew my condition. With my unions support I left with a settlement but had a major relapse with my mental health. I had to take just under a year off work. My psychiatrist and recovery worker first said I was unfit to work and as time went on was told I could work part time. I funded some of this time with the settlement until I ran out of money.

I claimed benefits and tried to get on the council housing list as I rent a 1 bed flat and it was far too expensive as I wasn't working. I don't have young children and a phone call with the council resulted in them telling me it was my own fault for renting a more expensive flat. It isn't expensive, it's just that the rent includes water and electricity. This lead to rent arrears and bill arrears. I was going round in circles and sinking further down.

In January this year, I grabbed myself by the heels and registered with a supply agency to see how I would cope. I loved it. The trouble with supply is that you don't get paid for school holidays, bank holidays, polling day (we had one) and I didn't get paid for a snow day we had, plus it's weekly pay.

I have now secured a full time job from September and have been in touch with Stepchange. I have £25000 debt. With half term now (no pay) and the 6 week holiday looming (no pay) I am not coping well.

I am almost 50 and single. I just don't see anything getting better. Yes I have a full time job coming but it will still take tears and years to pay off the debt. I have no sizeable pension so will have to work til I drop. I'm struggling to see the point. I keep being told that things will get better but I just can't see it. I will have no spare money for the foreseeable future, no pension as such. I'm starting to sink again and I've only just come back up.

Everything links to each other. Mental health worsened by debt and other things. Debt won't get better so mental health worsens. It's a viscious circle .

I just don't know how to see any positives for the future.

Make sure your repayments to Step Change are affordable. Factor in everything, times when you don't work, worst case scenarios, if you don't have emergency savings put them in your budget too. You need to be able to have a life while repaying your debts, the companies can wait. If you want to repay debts quicker do it by saving then making full and final offers, then it's a bonus not a noose round your neck. If any of your debts relate to periods when you were unwell (interest charges while you were sectioned, increased credit limits when clearly you weren't making repayments) it's worth a shot at doing some research to see if you get any reductions.

Rosebud38 · 12 June 2018 at 7:23PM

Every day I go to work and try and put a smile on my face. I need my job, I love my job but I am in a constant state of high anxiety and sick with worry constantly. I’ve had anxiety since my little brother died 13 years ago but this last year since my debt started its become almost unbearable. I’m not sure how I’m functioning on a minute by minute basis at the moment. But I must. I need my job even more now than ever before for emotional and financial reasons. It’s the only place I don’t feel like a total failure.

Marge1616 · 14 June 2018 at 1:20PM

I really need some help. My son has been with Natwest for years and a lot of the time even struggled to pay the one bill that comes from his account (his mobile phone bill). Natwest has seen it fit to increase his overdraft to 2750 since Nov 2017 when he only gets paid 1100 a month. He has now got himself in a state about this which has now ended in him suffering from depression and said he has contemplated suicide, he is only 23 .

I have read their responsible lending leaflet and it states “We will lend responsibly and aim to provide a product that is affordable for you” I am really upset that they as a bank have gone against their own guidelines and contributed to him having a mental health issue.

I wondered if you could advise the steps if any in trying to get this sorted.

saffy135 · 25 June 2018 at 9:27AM

I went through a rough patch in 2000's, I started buying expensive cars, holidays etc. I ended up in 27K in debt with credit cards and overdraft. My lenders started increasing my limit and i continued spending. I kept all this debt from my wife and she had no clue, I lied to her many times and ignored my statements or looking at my balance, convinced myself everything would be fine in a few months but eventually the minimum payments I was making I could no longer afford. My wife eventually cornered me and I was forced to tell her the truth. It was the hardest thing I had done, the fear, anxiety and depression was overwhelming. The truth is I should have sought help earlier instead of ignoring the problem and turning a blind eye, with the help of my wife, I have overturned my life in a short space of time. Sometimes you require some shock therapy and confront the issue and do the hardest thing, it is easier to ignore the problem and convince yourself it will be okay tomorrow but the problem will always be there and getting worse by the day. I will be debt free by Sept and finally able to live life and a burned off my shoulders

Cut up your credit cards and just avoid if necessary, lenders do not help, you get trapped into it and starts to spiral out of control.

BlueJay81 · 25 June 2018 at 1:26PM

Me and my wife are currently in a pretty tough situation.

We are both currently coming up to the end of our 4th year of our Trust Deeds.

My wife has been out of work since February. Due to her Mother falling ill and needing extra care needs while she was in the process of being diagnosed it was her only option as dealing with the pressure of her job, our 3 kids and looking after her mother was too much.

Since then we have been living on 1 wage which isn't enough to cover our outgoings. Including our Trust Deeds.

Our mortgage is in arrears also and most months direct debits fail as well as having to rely on family and sometimes friends to loan us money for food.

The upshot is that my wife's mental health has reached a point where she is so unwell that she is longer able to cope with life in general and can't see past the worst case scenario in every problem.

She knows she is unwell but can't seem to get the help she needs, and I need to go to work so can't be there for her to give her time to recover and get better.

It has had a knock on effect on me too as it just seems like everything is spiralling out of control.

I just need some advice on how the hell to get through this.

Anything at all would be appreciated.

Dot.007 · 26 July 2018 at 10:27AM

What your wife needs is something small that can make her feel she still has some power in her hands. If there is a little job available, evening job, where she could earn a little...

Debt and Mental Health - How have your debts affected you?

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