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  • FIRST POST
    • Housebuy12345
    • By Housebuy12345 20th May 19, 9:11 PM
    • 211Posts
    • 46Thanks
    Housebuy12345
    Anyway to calm nerves in an interview?
    • #1
    • 20th May 19, 9:11 PM
    Anyway to calm nerves in an interview? 20th May 19 at 9:11 PM
    Iíve started job hunting and had an interview today. I was a bag of nerves and I didnít interview well. Although I would love to bring in bullet points to answer the usual questions, my social anxiety takes over and I become unable to speak properly, answer questions fully and walk away feeling bad.

    Iíve had jobs so I may be internalizing the above, and I may not come across as bad as I think, but Iím also unable to keep my social anxiety at bay.

    Feeling very sad today! I know I can do the job, itís the actual getting of the job
Page 1
    • keepcalmandstayoutofdebt
    • By keepcalmandstayoutofdebt 20th May 19, 9:31 PM
    • 3,607 Posts
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    keepcalmandstayoutofdebt
    • #2
    • 20th May 19, 9:31 PM
    • #2
    • 20th May 19, 9:31 PM
    I wouldn't worry - a lot depends on the person/people doing the interview as well. Years ago I remember an interviewer playing the are you nervous card (like you get helpful people at the dentist commenting if you appear a nervy patient) and thought then it didn't serve to help anyone.

    Myself, personally I interview well and confidently, then I start the job and fall into this trap. (which is worse by the way) I prefer doing a half day trial after the interview and actually the time it happened it be offered, it made me think twice about the supposed dream role on offer, incredibly insightful.

    My Mum had interviews last week after a year break, she said her first was nervous and then her next was better.
    RIP my Rags. 16/06/19 at 4am
    Know I had to moneysave but you didn't have to go
    x
    • jonnygee2
    • By jonnygee2 20th May 19, 10:24 PM
    • 1,353 Posts
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    jonnygee2
    • #3
    • 20th May 19, 10:24 PM
    • #3
    • 20th May 19, 10:24 PM
    my social anxiety takes over and I become unable to speak properly, answer questions fully and walk away feeling bad.
    Everyone gets nervous in interviews but this sounds a bit worse and actually inhibiting.

    Try looking up some basic CBT techniques, but I'd possibly also consider speaking to your GP about short term medication to help with performance anxiety of it continues to affect your chances of getting a job.
    • Housebuy12345
    • By Housebuy12345 20th May 19, 10:38 PM
    • 211 Posts
    • 46 Thanks
    Housebuy12345
    • #4
    • 20th May 19, 10:38 PM
    • #4
    • 20th May 19, 10:38 PM
    ^yes I have a beta blocker that lowers my heart rate and I should have taken it. I just didn’t realize how bad I would get. Surely other people get nervous?
    • Housebuy12345
    • By Housebuy12345 20th May 19, 10:43 PM
    • 211 Posts
    • 46 Thanks
    Housebuy12345
    • #5
    • 20th May 19, 10:43 PM
    • #5
    • 20th May 19, 10:43 PM
    Also the NHS is useless. It took me a year to get referred to my current psychologist and now I will start treatment in 18 months. Before that I was told I wasn’t eligible for treatment (I moved house).
    • Kentish Dave
    • By Kentish Dave 20th May 19, 10:59 PM
    • 342 Posts
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    Kentish Dave
    • #6
    • 20th May 19, 10:59 PM
    • #6
    • 20th May 19, 10:59 PM
    Well, this won’t work for everyone, but...

    Many years ago when I was applying for graduate jobs I was aware of how critical it was to get offers. Getting on a good graduate course would probably be life changing, and the pressure made me come across quite badly.

    So, in the absence back then of mindfulness training, relaxation apps and the like I would call in the venue ahead of time to make sure that I had the right place, then find a local pub and have a single vodka and orange.

    For me a single did not make me drunk, but it did just calm me down enough that I could come across well.

    Nowadays it would not occur tomme to be nervous in an interview, I’ve a strong track record, a great reputation, and know that I will do fine, but I do wonder if I’d have made it here without that little helper all those years ago.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 20th May 19, 11:16 PM
    • 19,253 Posts
    • 48,870 Thanks
    elsien
    • #7
    • 20th May 19, 11:16 PM
    • #7
    • 20th May 19, 11:16 PM
    ^yes I have a beta blocker that lowers my heart rate and I should have taken it. I just didnít realize how bad I would get. Surely other people get nervous?
    Originally posted by Housebuy12345
    Practice and more practice. I used to do my spiel out loud in front of friends and family which was horribly embarrassing but did mean that it was more likely to come rolling out when needed.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • _shel
    • By _shel 21st May 19, 4:02 AM
    • 2,014 Posts
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    _shel
    • #8
    • 21st May 19, 4:02 AM
    • #8
    • 21st May 19, 4:02 AM
    Beta blockers as someone else mentioned or calms that you can buy in the chemist. They're herbal but relax you.

    Good luck,I'm exactly the same. Brill at applications but never get through the interview because I'm a quivering wreck and forget everything except my panic.
    • Gavin83
    • By Gavin83 21st May 19, 9:57 AM
    • 5,949 Posts
    • 10,190 Thanks
    Gavin83
    • #9
    • 21st May 19, 9:57 AM
    • #9
    • 21st May 19, 9:57 AM
    Personally (although I respect this won't work for most!) I have a red bull before any interviews. I find it helps make my mind a little more alert and sharp, which does help with the confidence and ironically helps me relax a bit. I've had comments before that I come across as extremely confident so it clearly works!

    I'd suggest making sure you're well prepared for an interview. You should be spending at least 10 hours preparing for an interview where you actually want the job. Walking in there confident you can answer the questions will help you relax.
    • Swishtwist3
    • By Swishtwist3 21st May 19, 6:10 PM
    • 5 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    Swishtwist3
    Hi! Don't give up, you must have made a good application to get through to interview. Employers will expect everyone to be nervous at interview, but I appreciate it is harder when you have social anxiety.
    I'd also suggest trying to prepare for the next interview by looking at the company/organisation's website beforehand as it shows you are interested. Good luck and best wishes for the future!
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 21st May 19, 8:52 PM
    • 19,592 Posts
    • 20,391 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    I really really wouldn't recommend alcohol. Interviewers are not generally nose blind!

    Deep breathing does help - in fact even remembering to breathe helps!
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    • TELLIT01
    • By TELLIT01 22nd May 19, 6:55 AM
    • 6,448 Posts
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    TELLIT01
    If you are offered something to drink, accept it. Use the drink as thinking time before responding. The simple act of taking a sip of water gives you those valuable few seconds.
    A decent interviewer should notice if a person is nervous and should be working to put the interviewee at ease.
    Things like Kalms may help so are worth a try, use the daytime ones as the night ones are formulated to make you drowsy - not a good idea in an interview. I wouldn't use any form of stimulant.
    • Beremy
    • By Beremy 22nd May 19, 10:29 PM
    • 108 Posts
    • 45 Thanks
    Beremy
    Bag of nerves here too. Understand the question and know the answer but stutter, can't get the words out in the right order and have been known to say stupid things. Then there's the dripping with sweat ...
    I have never been offered a job based on an interview alone. Most jobs have come because I've known someone or temped in the company or recommendation. The last interview I had I took Kalms from the health food shop (can get in most chemists) and they did help.

    I think it's worth going to as many interviews as you can for practise. The less you want the job the better you may do and that might then help you when it comes to a job you really would like. I think there are places also where you can get interview practise.
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