Mooloo’s Managing it in 2018

The biggest argument is that when DS left her the other year, and I paid off the rent arrears then!, his name was supposed to come off of the claim. Housing appear to have argued that he was still living there so her claim was wrong etc. Dispite DS having his own flat in house with his job.
But as he moved back in with her they are disputing that he ever left. Being as they live in chaos the wage slips seem to have got lost.

This has been going on for a year. Your son has had a year to phone up and ask for pay slips, a year to phone up and ask for a letter stating that he had a live in job. He obviously has skills as he can hold down a job, why can't he make a phone call to an employer or ex employer asking for duplicate pay slips or a record of money earned in the time he was needing to sort this HB matter out.

Bad organisation on the DS and gf part has meant letters not opened, dead lines missed. Non cooperation from gf to anyone and DS name was still on all her bills despite Biggest and I helpings him to contact everyone to get his name removed. All appear to be denying we did call them.
Unfortunately I don't have a record of my calls etc when we did.

Worse than bad organisation I think. The companies should have a record of the calls, most calls are recorded for training purposes.

It needs a gather everything together. Every debt. Every bank statement and every wage slip. It needs an SOA immediately.
It then needs a debt plan.
Personally I think Bankruptcy might have to be an option. But I am no specialist debt guidance services. I am just a frustrated Mum who is stuck between a rock and a hard place trying to get two dis functional young adults to face the music own up to being in too deep. And be willing to deal with it. But as their relationship is on and off, as the girl's family is not willing to help her in any way other than in front of the social pretend to support her, and Now I am not so willing to accept her. I am not sure what exactly to do next

They have the skills to hold down a job. They have phones. It takes two minutes to take a photo of your wage slip on your phone and email it to housing benefit

Do you think they actually understand the financial mess they are in and what the consequences could be for them?

You aren't stuck between a rock and a hard place. This is awful because its your son and you love him and the kids, I get that. But the more you clear up after them by paying their debts off the less likely they are ever to want to get themselves out of this financial mess.

Mooloo wrote: »

I try. I try! But he misses appointments. Looses track of time. Looses his driving license and bank cards, passport and birth certificate.
He is only marginally better than her!
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Hope you feel a little better today. I sympathise with you over disorganised kids, as my eldest and partner (both ASD) are just the same. They are always "forgetting" appointments. I keep telling them to set up reminders on their computers as that is how they spend most of their time. However, eldest is very careful with money, which is good as they lost their PIP and Carer's allowance (partner is in wheelchair) due to missing thir review meeting. New meeting should have happened this week so I just hope they made that one. Her partner can't budget at all and is talking about getting a 72inch tv (for their 12ftX10ft living room which already has 2 computer stations set up!) but eldest is having none of it. I have spent the last 4 years (when eldest lived with me) trying to get her more organised but now they have moved out have taken a step back (well several steps probably) to try to preserve my sanity and our relationship, but it's really hard. I, and they, get no help from my exH (eldest's father) despite me, at times, ringing him and virtually begging on my knees for some help. I also know how difficult it is to get help from official sources.
I am in the same county as you and am extremely worried about how the cutbacks could affect people in eldest's position (a scenario which seems to be spreading across the counrty) as we (they) were passed back and forth between various departments (housing/adult social services/health services) for several months, although it seems to be resolved for now and they have a council place of their own suitable for the wheelchair.
Looking at your situation I can see how advice for you to "step back" is well meant, and probably would be the best thing for all of you. Having been in the midst of a similar situation though, I am pretty sure I would be doing what you are and trying everything in my power to help everyone. It looks totally different when you are on the inside of a hellish situation rather than on the outside looking in.
Best wishes to you all.

annandale.... Did you not read Dreamings wonderful explanatory post above?
Mooloo has 3 children with mental health issues, it must be so hard to deal with, and even harder to ignore.

Do you have any family members in this position? If yes, do you deal with them in the way you suggest Mooloo does?