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  • FIRST POST
    • butterkup
    • By butterkup 16th Oct 19, 4:19 PM
    • 1Posts
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    butterkup
    Non-Molestation Order - Stressful situation
    • #1
    • 16th Oct 19, 4:19 PM
    Non-Molestation Order - Stressful situation 16th Oct 19 at 4:19 PM
    Hi everyone. I'm posting on behalf of my Mother who has been going through a very difficult and stressful time right now. I'll try and be as brief as possible.

    Basically an ex-partner of hers (no relation to myself) has been harassing her for quite some time. She hasn't been in a relationship with him for about 4 years (prior to that she was in an off and on controlling and violent relationship with him for about 10 years - during this time he was physically, verbally and mentally abusive to her. Threatening to kill her and attacking her with a knife on separate occasions, causing her depression etc)

    For the past few years she has been telling him it's over and she wants nothing more to do with him, but he will not leave her alone. I live with my mum so I have witnessed his stalking and harassing, at home and at her place of work. We've had to call the police on several occasions when he's turned up at the house. Things came to a head six months ago and she applied for a non-molestation order against him, which was granted for six months going forwards.

    He didn't turn up to the initial hearing for the order. The court also failed to deliver the order after it was granted right away, instead leaving my mother vulnerable for about a week until we had to chase them up on it as he drove past our house and her work a couple days after the initial hearing. That was when we found out they hadn't served the order as he wasn't answering the door - so then another hearing had to take place for him to be able to contest it if he wished, because he apparently didn't get enough notice of the first hearing. So again, my mother had to attend a second hearing, of which he didn't attend. This AGAIN happened a third time due to another bungle at the court, in which a third hearing was set. My mother didn't attend that one as she was too stressed and it was through no fault of her own that it kept getting postponed. The ex partner didn't attend either, but the order was still granted and enforced.

    Now the six months is due to be up so we attended another hearing last week to extend the order. Both parties had 4 days notice of the hearing, and he didn't turn up to it, so the order was extended for a further six months.

    But today, we have a letter from the court saying that the respondent sent the court a letter saying he was unable to attend the return hearing and wants to contest it. But because the court didn't receive the letter until 3 days after the hearing, there now has to be ANOTHER one where he has the opportunity to attend.

    Does anybody have any ideas of what we can do from here? This is causing my mother a horrible amount of stress, and she has to keep taking time off work to attend these hearings (which she shouldn't have to - he's choosing not to attend and it's no fault of hers that the letter arrived late) He doesn't work and has missed every single hearing prior to this, which makes me think he's just doing this to cause her more stress. He's been making her life hell for years and it seems like this is never ending.

    The whole process from the start has been a disgrace due to leaving my mother unprotected at the start (they didn't even notify her that they were unable to serve the order straight away, giving her a false sense of security that the order was in place) and asking her to attend hearing after hearing when he's the one who's choosing not to attend them all.

    I know she's going to be under far too much stress to attend the next hearing (she won't even want to be in the same room as him) and we are going to contact the court to explain the situation - but if she doesn't turn up, my worry is that the order may not be extended, and his stalking and harassing will start all over again.

    Should we try to seek legal advice? Thing is, it's just myself and my mum and we don't have a lot of money. There's a lot of information here and I apologies for the long post but this process feels like it's never going to end and she's never going to be free of him, and I feel the court is really not taking this seriously enough.

    If anybody else has been through anything similar or has any advice it would be much appreciated.

    TIA.
Page 1
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 16th Oct 19, 4:34 PM
    • 10,229 Posts
    • 12,396 Thanks
    Comms69
    • #2
    • 16th Oct 19, 4:34 PM
    • #2
    • 16th Oct 19, 4:34 PM
    Hi everyone. I'm posting on behalf of my Mother who has been going through a very difficult and stressful time right now. I'll try and be as brief as possible.

    Basically an ex-partner of hers (no relation to myself) has been harassing her for quite some time. She hasn't been in a relationship with him for about 4 years (prior to that she was in an off and on controlling and violent relationship with him for about 10 years - during this time he was physically, verbally and mentally abusive to her. Threatening to kill her and attacking her with a knife on separate occasions, causing her depression etc)

    For the past few years she has been telling him it's over and she wants nothing more to do with him, but he will not leave her alone. I live with my mum so I have witnessed his stalking and harassing, at home and at her place of work. We've had to call the police on several occasions when he's turned up at the house. - what action have the police taken so far? Things came to a head six months ago and she applied for a non-molestation order against him, which was granted for six months going forwards.

    He didn't turn up to the initial hearing for the order. The court also failed to deliver the order after it was granted right away, instead leaving my mother vulnerable for about a week until we had to chase them up on it as he drove past our house and her work a couple days after the initial hearing. That was when we found out they hadn't served the order as he wasn't answering the door - so then another hearing had to take place for him to be able to contest it if he wished, because he apparently didn't get enough notice of the first hearing. - he received no notice of the first hearing So again, my mother had to attend a second hearing, of which he didn't attend. This AGAIN happened a third time due to another bungle at the court, in which a third hearing was set. My mother didn't attend that one as she was too stressed and it was through no fault of her own that it kept getting postponed. The ex partner didn't attend either, but the order was still granted and enforced. - that is the correct outcome, but for future reference, always attend hearings

    Now the six months is due to be up so we attended another hearing last week to extend the order. Both parties had 4 days notice of the hearing, and he didn't turn up to it, so the order was extended for a further six months.

    But today, we have a letter from the court saying that the respondent sent the court a letter saying he was unable to attend the return hearing and wants to contest it. But because the court didn't receive the letter until 3 days after the hearing, there now has to be ANOTHER one where he has the opportunity to attend. - that is how these things work

    Does anybody have any ideas of what we can do from here? This is causing my mother a horrible amount of stress, and she has to keep taking time off work to attend these hearings (which she shouldn't have to - he's choosing not to attend and it's no fault of hers that the letter arrived late) - yes she should have to, because she is the claimant. He doesn't work and has missed every single hearing prior to this, which makes me think he's just doing this to cause her more stress. He's been making her life hell for years and it seems like this is never ending. - well then ask the court to extend the order to a more significant period

    The whole process from the start has been a disgrace due to leaving my mother unprotected at the start (they didn't even notify her that they were unable to serve the order straight away, giving her a false sense of security that the order was in place) and asking her to attend hearing after hearing when he's the one who's choosing not to attend them all.

    I know she's going to be under far too much stress to attend the next hearing (she won't even want to be in the same room as him) and we are going to contact the court to explain the situation - but if she doesn't turn up, my worry is that the order may not be extended, and his stalking and harassing will start all over again. - The order will most likely not be granted, that is correct

    Should we try to seek legal advice? Thing is, it's just myself and my mum and we don't have a lot of money. - this would qualify for legal aid, im surprised you weren't told this There's a lot of information here and I apologies for the long post but this process feels like it's never going to end and she's never going to be free of him, and I feel the court is really not taking this seriously enough. - the court isn't designed for that purpose.

    If anybody else has been through anything similar or has any advice it would be much appreciated.

    TIA.
    Originally posted by butterkup


    Contact a local specialist solicitor - women's aid will have a list
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