Finally admitting I'm in debt :(

Mnd · 27 September 2017 at 8:46AM

Tell your ex you can't afford the children, he's going to have to have them, then arrange proper access, or he pays you appropriate maintenance

Pixie5740 · 27 September 2017 at 9:05AM

I disagree with the comments about stopping the PhD and getting a job. If the OP was just about to start the PhD I'd say yes but as she became a postgraduate student in 2014 she must be very close to finishing. If it were me I would plough ahead and get my PhD and start a DMP to keep the wolves from the door for the time being.

enthusiasticsaver · 27 September 2017 at 9:50AM

You basically have two choices once you have to move into rented accommodation and the best one is dependent on what the soa shows.

You can either abandon the PhD depending on how far along you are and how close to finishing. My daughter worked full time and did a PhD part time so is that an option? It took her longer than the 3 years she received fees and bursary so while she received the bursary she did not work but as she had not completed it by the end of the third year and a job as research assistant came up she accepted that but it did slow progress on PhD. It is a luxury being able to study post grad if you have family to support so if you are no where near completing you might have to stop and work full time.

Alternatively you could look at a DMP either through stepchange or self managed. That will normally stop the interest making the debt higher but it does impact on your credit rating but probably would not stop you getting a job in the police or courts.

Do not do a consolidation loan. It never works and you need to get out of this mentality where you use credit when you cannot afford something. That car must have been quite expensive and obviously too much for your budget. Do you really need a car?

enthusiasticsaver · 27 September 2017 at 10:12AM

Mnd wrote: »

Tell your ex you can't afford the children, he's going to have to have them, then arrange proper access, or he pays you appropriate maintenance

Really?!!!

Did you read the OP? This man sounds like a monster and if DV involved would you leave your children with such a man?

EssexHebridean · 27 September 2017 at 11:57AM

Mnd wrote: »

Tell your ex you can't afford the children, he's going to have to have them, then arrange proper access, or he pays you appropriate maintenance

In the circumstances the OP has detailed, if this is intended as a bluff it would potentially be an extremely risky one - not sure I'd be wanting to risk him saying "OK then !" - are you?

AndyPix · 27 September 2017 at 12:06PM

StillStudenting wrote: »

no claim to house after fleeing DV?

I have to ask, what is DV ??

Iv looked on urban dictionary and im pretty sure you dont mean what it says there !!

[Deleted User] · 27 September 2017 at 12:10PM

AndyPix wrote: »

I have to ask, what is DV ??

Domestic Violence

StillStudenting · 27 September 2017 at 12:16PM

National_Debtline wrote: »

Hi StillStudenting

Are you able to tell us how much your SOA showed you had left over each month? That’s after paying any essential outgoings but before paying any debts. And do you have an idea of what it will look like when you move into rented accommodation?

Make sure the income you do receive is in a safe place, where your creditors can’t touch it, by banking somewhere you have no debt. It’s also worth checking with some professional bodies or trade unions if your planned area of employment will definitely be ruled out if you consider an IVA or bankruptcy.

If you can’t consider those options you can always try and self negotiate. You can send your SOA to your creditors and ask them to accept reduced payments and freeze interest. A DMP may also be an option, depending on how much you have spare each month. One of the free debt advice charities can explain your options in more detail. Good luck with it all.

Susie
@natdebtline

I have debt with both banks

Overdraft with Santander and CC with Barclay.
My overdraft was £2000 in the red in August - I have got it down to £1300 by now and hopefully by the end of October it will be £500 (I've been doing extra lecturing work and the payment will be going on clearing the overdraft)

Plan so far is clear Santander Overdraft - move all money, direct debits to Santander Current Account then tackle the Next and Barclaycard - I have around £700 spare each month while living with grandparents and have two more months living with them.

Bottom reply advising to defer my Ph.D - I'm almost done I can't defer now . Spoke to head of school who is trying to give me extra work

Had advice today from student money adviser - same lines as writing to creditors asking to freeze interest for a bit so trying that ! hopefully next time i'm back on here I will be in less of a mess!

Thanks

StillStudenting · 27 September 2017 at 12:19PM

EssexHebridean wrote: »

In the circumstances the OP has detailed, if this is intended as a bluff it would potentially be an extremely risky one - not sure I'd be wanting to risk him saying "OK then !" - are you?

He's not interested. Wants a 'Fresh Start' that doesn't include children (for the second time might I add.) He already has a son he ignores from his relationship before me.

EssexHebridean · 27 September 2017 at 12:26PM

Your first step needs to be to open a basic bank account with a provider not linked to anywhere you have debt - this is vital as you MUST make sure your income is protected from being set off against debt. It's urgent that you do this ASAP - it's one for the "Do right now" list.

Keep posting on here - people will help and it will give you some support.

Finally admitting I'm in debt :(

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