Wife doesnt like my mother for no real reason
Comments
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You say you lived together for year before marrying.
Was this not a problem then?0 -
She is resting her body wowww !! I'm living in the wrong country !
Try having 4 kids, a job and studying a teaching degree lol that's when rest is needed.
Aside from the above you need to put your foot down. Your family is your family don't allow anyone to cause a rift between you, unless they have been unkind to her. I think she is actually taking advantage of you.
Do not have a baby until your issues are sorted. A child needs stability. There is uncertainty about where you'll be living, your relationship with your family and her lack of respect for you. Make you feelings clear and if she can't respect them then run a mile !!0 -
Aside from the above you need to put your foot down. Your family is your family don't allow anyone to cause a rift between you, unless they have been unkind to her.
Ok, but there is close and there is too close. The OP might think that his relationship with his mother is normal but his wife obviously doesn't. A lot of women want their husband to prove that he loves them more than his mother.
From what the OP has said, it does appear that his wife is being unreasonable, but the OP also has try to put his wife before his mother. We don't know if he has done this.
It will be difficult for the OP especially as his mother seems to be a lovely woman, but he needs to think seriously about it.0 -
Ok, but there is close and there is too close. The OP might think that his relationship with his mother is normal but his wife obviously doesn't. A lot of women want their husband to prove that he loves them more than his mother.
From what the OP has said, it does appear that his wife is being unreasonable, but the OP also has try to put his wife before his mother. We don't know if he has done this.
It will be difficult for the OP especially as his mother seems to be a lovely woman, but he needs to think seriously about it.
Put her first for what though ? He video calls his mother, having an issue with that is madness. He mentions no argument or rift, so this whole put me first is silly. A decent wife wouldn't have such silly insecurities of needing her husband to not have a relationship with his mother.
For the record I can't actually stand my mother in law. However I've never ever said that to my husband, although I'm sure he knows. I be polite on the occasions I need to see her and have never tried to stop my husband having a relationship with her. I just think some woman are crazy and it's sad how jealous they get of their Inlaws !0 -
Perhaps your wife thinks you like your mother more than her?
Perhaps you sound happier when you speak to your mum?
Japanese women are afraid of mazakons: http://cotoacademy.com/mazakon/
Also, it is very common for a women to go back to live with their parents a month before and after giving birth, sometimes even more (a year!).
And you are right, housewives are much more common there than here.
You need to think hard about your relationship before making babies.0 -
Put her first for what though ? He video calls his mother, having an issue with that is madness. He mentions no argument or rift, so this whole put me first is silly. A decent wife wouldn't have such silly insecurities of needing her husband to not have a relationship with his mother.
For the record I can't actually stand my mother in law. However I've never ever said that to my husband, although I'm sure he knows. I be polite on the occasions I need to see her and have never tried to stop my husband having a relationship with her. I just think some woman are crazy and it's sad how jealous they get of their Inlaws !
Agreed, from what the OP said, his wife is being unreasonable, but we only have his side of the story.
He said from the beginning that his family is very close. A lot of women don't like that. He needs to understand that when he gets married, he has started his own family and needs to detach himself somewhat from his parents.
A lot of women want their husband to prove and keep proving that they are more important. It is unreasonable, but it happens a lot.
My stepson's girlfriend does not like my stepson having too close a relationship with his sister or his mother. I think she is being unreasonable but that is the way she is.
The OP has to decide if he can deal with his wife's insecurities and if not, he should leave her before she gets pregnant.0 -
Perhaps your wife thinks you like your mother more than her?
Perhaps you sound happier when you speak to your mum?
Japanese women are afraid of mazakons: http://cotoacademy.com/mazakon/
Exactly this.0 -
Thank you everyone for your responses really appreciate it!
I think a part might be she feel i might seem happier talking to my mother, which might be the case since i only talk to her for like 10mins on the phone a week sometimes not even since i don't live with her. But even a text message to my phone she would not be so comfy with it. The reasoning she tells me is she doesn't do that and their parents also don't text her or call or. They talk maybe on the phone 2-3 times a year, but the calls would be longer.
I think is just the way she is, she wants me to do things her standards. And yes we lived together before marriage things were much better, might be because she was working so we don't spend so much time seeing eachother. Because my work is project base, once i finish the project sometimes i get one to two months off, that's what happened this time around and why the problem came up.0 -
YES! She search about it and then said that to me! She would also tell me that her dad never talk to her mom -_-
I still love her alot, but i also love my parents a lot. the confuse part is they do get along when they see eachother....omg0 -
Thank you everyone for your responses really appreciate it!
I think a part might be she feel i might seem happier talking to my mother, which might be the case since i only talk to her for like 10mins on the phone a week sometimes not even since i don't live with her. But even a text message to my phone she would not be so comfy with it. The reasoning she tells me is she doesn't do that and their parents also don't text her or call or. They talk maybe on the phone 2-3 times a year, but the calls would be longer.
I think is just the way she is, she wants me to do things her standards. And yes we lived together before marriage things were much better, might be because she was working so we don't spend so much time seeing eachother. Because my work is project base, once i finish the project sometimes i get one to two months off, that's what happened this time around and why the problem came up.
Have you explained to your wife that your family are close and so are many other familys? I think it is quite sad she only talks to her parents two or three times a year and she should not expect you to be the same.Also to say you are "disgusting" for texting your mum is a massive over reaction, maybe she is jealous of your closeness I don't know.If she would talk to friends and family she would realise that it is she that is in the wrong.Maybe you could persuade her to go to marriage guidance.I know she says it should be kept between yourselves but talking together has not helped and I do not think it does anyone any good bottling things up.0
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