2018 Benbenandme's Next Battle

Didn't manage much of a lie-in again today, so got up and went and did some job spotting. I've earned about £8 I think.

I then did some shopping - £9 in Sainsburys (£6 on some beef for dinner and £3 on 3x Maybelline concealer / contour kit, each was reduced from £12 so they are heading for ebay

I also spent £12 in Primark on a couple of t-shirts for ds and some other bits, £14 in Wilkos which included a bargain brushed cotton sheet reduced to £1.25 and 2 x matching pillowcases reduced to 63p :money:

£1 for the car park and £1.50 in Greggs

So now I'm home, Bournemouth kick-off in 20 minutes, it's not on Sky though So an afternoon of mooching on the laptop, swagbucking and generally chilling. Ds is home mid-afternoon then it's roast dinner time

I know, I was well chuffed, they are a very pale grey but one of ds's duvet covers is grey so they'll be fine with that

Let's not mention the football this afternoon :mad::mad: Bathroom has been blitzed to get rid of my frustration at losing

Ds is home now, roast dinner is underway and now I'm at the pottering stage

Morning all, last night we did a pub quiz, didn't get close to winning but was good fun

Today the weather is foul, I'm having an indoor day as I am having someone come round to fit a smart meter for the gas and electric today. The geek in me wants to be able to see how much we use a day

I intend to get some more jobs done off my list today and just generally potter. I want to reach my swagbucks daily goal quickly too so I'm not saddled to the laptop all day

The man has been and fitted my new smartmeter for the gas and electric - I feel like a kid at Christmas, ds and I are going round unplugging everything that's on standby

We've also bagged up the penny jar and have £105 waiting to go to the bank, I'm pleased with this, I'd budgeted £100 from there towards the cruise, so that's a little extra over the target, all helps

Time for a list update ...

[STRIKE]Clear washing mountain[/STRIKE] Done but keeps growing :cool:
Ironing
[STRIKE]Clear surveys from inbox[/STRIKE] Done but keeps growing
Update financial goals and see if still on track
Buy lightbulbs
[STRIKE]Unblock slow draining plug in bath[/STRIKE] Done
[STRIKE]Clean hall[/STRIKE] Done
[STRIKE]Clean downstairs toilet[/STRIKE] Done
[STRIKE]Clean bathroom[/STRIKE] Done
Clean my bedroom
Clean ds bedroom
Clean kitchen
Clean kitchen cupboards
Clean car (inside)
Book driving awareness course
Clear paperwork pile
Pay coins into bank account - Bagged up ready to go
Apply for passports
Travel insurance
Pay cheque in
[STRIKE]Job spotting[/STRIKE] Done
Inventory of freezer
Ebay random bits
Empty handbag
Gut the bottom of my wardrobe
Change bedding
[STRIKE]Buy washing-up bowl[/STRIKE] Done
Mooch online for new curtains
Reset heating / hot water timers
Trip to the tip

Hmm, that's not great. I'm feeling really down tonight, not sure why really just a general feeling of how monotonous and dull my life is. I constantly think about money, or the general lack of any spare money, I watch every penny I spend because I have to - which takes away any enjoyment in doing things. I think I'm feeling it today because the banking checks I did earlier don't look great.

I just feel like life is a constant battle to find pennies and to monitor ds and try and help him stay on the right path when sometimes he seems hell bent on flying right off it

I know I'm organised and top of it all but there really should be more to life than that shouldn't there? I just feel like I have years of getting older and lonely ahead of me. I don't see things changing, I know this sounds really miserable and self-pitying and I don't want it to be like that but years of being a single parent of an SEN child have left me fairly reclusive and the finances don't do much to change that. Ds can be utterly vile to me and I am constantly waiting for the next onslaught ... The ex from hell has changed me so that I don't trust anyone anymore and the thought of a proper relationship again scares the hell out of me, mainly because if I'm honest I don't believe in it. Right now I feel like if it wasn't for my Mum it wouldn't matter if I wasn't here anymore. Wow that sounds self-pitying, I don't mean to, I just feel crap today I know it's why I have no motivation to get on with the list, I don't care right now if any of it gets done or not

I'm waiting for 7pm when I can call my mate without it costing me anything, hopefully she'll talk some sense into me