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Miserable first time buyer with buyers remorse

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  • As one who spends months at a time working in a very noisy working environment (neonatal intensive care- alarms +++ which the nurses look after and they pull a different bell when they need me!), I can tell you that at first you think you’re going to live with noise 24/7- I bet you can hear that cattle grid even when you’re not at home- but every time I come to the end of a 6 month stint on the job I genuinely don’t notice it.

    You’ll get used to it. It sounds like you’ve earned your home the hard way and I’d hate to think of you losing thousands selling straight away- if I was a buyer it’d spook me buying so soon after you if you weren’t just a do up and flip developer.
  • anonmum
    anonmum Posts: 67
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    Hi,

    Sorry to hear you are not happy in your new home...buying a house is such a stressful thing to do in itself, all the money for starters, but from making an offer you spend most of the next two or three months in a very busy, busy, busy heightened state of stress - will they accept/am I paying too much/have I got to have a survey? which survey? How bad is the survey going to be?/ will I get a mortgage? / which bank? what type?/ which solicitor? / will the chain collapse? etc etc - then add in a few hold ups and problems and it is quite a heady mix of adrenalin to be running on - so it is little surprise that when you finally complete on the sale and the adrenalin busy-ness abates that you are then hit by waves of 'oh my god, what have I bought?' housebuyer remorse. (Made worse by possibly living in a bit of a mess, can't find anything, nothing you own where it should be, house seemingly always full of builders/plumbers/electricians/carpet fitters... etc!) AND then add noise issues you hadn't heard before on top.... would make anyone want to move straight back out and sell up!

    I speak from a position of just having gone through a very similar experience...been in my new home for three months and had I had a choice would have moved out after a week...I had had previous neighbour 'issues' shall we say...mainly regarding noise...so I bought my new home with as much due diligence as was possible - multiple visits at different times etc (four visits actually into the house, at least another six to the street) and was actually so worried I had made a mistake I was still viewing other houses up to two weeks before I exchanged...Anyway I did go through with the purchase and the first night in when I heard next doors phone ringing through the wall, their toilet flushing and them talking (at normal volume) but so clear I could hear every word...I was in floods of tears, convinced I had made a horrible mistake and deciding it wasn't worth even unpacking...

    Then we had a water leak through the ceiling, found woodworm in the attic, had a gas leak, electric tripping if you attempted to run more than two things in a single room (only a problem in the kitchen cos it was the only room that had more than two sockets...), back door wouldn't unlock, the damp the sellers had painted over came back, the wardrobe doors fell off (sliding and heavy) etc etc... (The film The Money Pit came to mind...)

    But time passed, life went on, we sorted some of the major problems, I unpacked a few bits and bobs, not much yet but enough so there was a few familiar bits around (but the a majority is still unpacked I would add...lol), I calmed down a bit and stopped acting as my daughter described it as a 'meercat on alert' at every noise...and a few weeks ago I actually realised I was really quite fond of our silly little house now...it actually felt like home. And when I heard next doors phone (and him answering) rather than being annoyed I thought - that's good, he has friends/family that care for him - instead. (He is in his seventies so I will admit to also secretly thinking 'oh good he is still alive...' lol)

    Yeah, house is not perfect and my credit card bill is testimony as to how imperfect it truly was/is (my builder is probably the person I have spoken most to in the last few weeks!)...but my mindset has changed so much about the house in just a couple of months that had I just walked away that would have been a big mistake.

    You may not feel the same after some time has passed, but I would definitely recommend giving your new home and yourself some time before you make any major decisions about re-selling/renting it out.

    Apologies for the mahoosive message - I think it was a little bit of a cathartic outpouring for me to be honest - I appreciate I have just said - "Give it time" - in the longest possible way!... but just please know you are not alone in your feelings!

    Good luck and kind wishes,

    Helen x
  • Spent all afternoon making myself ill and crying which is totally counter productive so figured I'd come onto here for some guidance and proactive words instead.
    My husband and I scrimped and saved to buy our first house. We had no help from anyone and we have rented and lived in many hovels and dumps over the years. We moved to a much cheaper area and bought a fixed upper. We got it for a decent price and viewed it twice. It backs onto the A470 motorway in Wales. We have lived in busy city centres and by main roads before so we are not hypersensitive to noise. We have lived here for a week and had double glazing installed before we moved in. However, I am finding it insufferable and miserable living here as we failed to hear or notice the damn cattle grid that is about 30ft from the back of our house and making a heck of a racquet day and night :-( I feel ill just being here. I am already looking at secondary glazing as a matter of urgency and my husband is going to cement all around the new windows internally tomorrow instead of the expanding foam. I feel like we have made the most expensive mistake of our lives though.

    Living not far from a section of the A470 I'm wondering if you're anywhere near lol.

    I think, as others have said noises that you aren't used to come as an initial major shock; we live in a cul de sac so no passing traffic. Our son bought a house on a road with passing traffic and he said that was one thing he really noticed!
  • Davesnave
    Davesnave Posts: 34,741
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    Nobody knows if you will get used to the noise, but I think it's more likely you will, as it's from an inanimate source, rather than from a person or persons acting in a wilfully thoughtless way. In other words, the anger towards others that people feel in a needlessly noisy neighbour scenario shouldn't be present.

    You might be angry with yourself right now, though. It's very easy to beat oneself up over a perceived mistake, but eventually that should pass. I doubt if there's an older person on this board that hasn't made a negatively life-changing decision at some time, then replayed the scenario, again and again in their head. It's upsetting, but it seems to be part of a coping mechanism, like grieving.

    So, just like the person who has lost a loved one, I'd say don't make any hasty decisions right now, like throwing more money at the issue or becoming an accidental landlord.

    You've a time to spend in this house; it might be a year or it might be much longer, but just treat it as known unknown. Look at the decorative faults the place will have and work on those. Every little improvement you make will enable a faster sale if you decide to go early, and if you don't, then you'll have the benefit of them for longer.
  • Murphybear
    Murphybear Posts: 7,257
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    anonmum wrote: »
    Hi,

    Sorry to hear you are not happy in your new home...buying a house is such a stressful thing to do in itself, all the money for starters, but from making an offer you spend most of the next two or three months in a very busy, busy, busy heightened state of stress - will they accept/am I paying too much/have I got to have a survey? which survey? How bad is the survey going to be?/ will I get a mortgage? / which bank? what type?/ which solicitor? / will the chain collapse? etc etc - then add in a few hold ups and problems and it is quite a heady mix of adrenalin to be running on - so it is little surprise that when you finally complete on the sale and the adrenalin busy-ness abates that you are then hit by waves of 'oh my god, what have I bought?' housebuyer remorse. (Made worse by possibly living in a bit of a mess, can't find anything, nothing you own where it should be, house seemingly always full of builders/plumbers/electricians/carpet fitters... etc!) AND then add noise issues you hadn't heard before on top.... would make anyone want to move straight back out and sell up!

    I speak from a position of just having gone through a very similar experience...been in my new home for three months and had I had a choice would have moved out after a week...I had had previous neighbour 'issues' shall we say...mainly regarding noise...so I bought my new home with as much due diligence as was possible - multiple visits at different times etc (four visits actually into the house, at least another six to the street) and was actually so worried I had made a mistake I was still viewing other houses up to two weeks before I exchanged...Anyway I did go through with the purchase and the first night in when I heard next doors phone ringing through the wall, their toilet flushing and them talking (at normal volume) but so clear I could hear every word...I was in floods of tears, convinced I had made a horrible mistake and deciding it wasn't worth even unpacking...

    Then we had a water leak through the ceiling, found woodworm in the attic, had a gas leak, electric tripping if you attempted to run more than two things in a single room (only a problem in the kitchen cos it was the only room that had more than two sockets...), back door wouldn't unlock, the damp the sellers had painted over came back, the wardrobe doors fell off (sliding and heavy) etc etc... (The film The Money Pit came to mind...)

    But time passed, life went on, we sorted some of the major problems, I unpacked a few bits and bobs, not much yet but enough so there was a few familiar bits around (but the a majority is still unpacked I would add...lol), I calmed down a bit and stopped acting as my daughter described it as a 'meercat on alert' at every noise...and a few weeks ago I actually realised I was really quite fond of our silly little house now...it actually felt like home. And when I heard next doors phone (and him answering) rather than being annoyed I thought - that's good, he has friends/family that care for him - instead. (He is in his seventies so I will admit to also secretly thinking 'oh good he is still alive...' lol)

    Yeah, house is not perfect and my credit card bill is testimony as to how imperfect it truly was/is (my builder is probably the person I have spoken most to in the last few weeks!)...but my mindset has changed so much about the house in just a couple of months that had I just walked away that would have been a big mistake.

    You may not feel the same after some time has passed, but I would definitely recommend giving your new home and yourself some time before you make any major decisions about re-selling/renting it out.

    Apologies for the mahoosive message - I think it was a little bit of a cathartic outpouring for me to be honest - I appreciate I have just said - "Give it time" - in the longest possible way!... but just please know you are not alone in your feelings!

    Good luck and kind wishes,

    Helen x

    I love the word “mahoosive”:rotfl:

    We moved to a house on a farm 6 months ago. There were a few sheep and cows in fields far enough away so you didn’t hear them. However the farmers built a massive barn a few yards away and the animals were moved in at the start of the cold. Cows moo 24 hours a day bless their little cotton hooves. Doesn’t really bother me, I like cows. Especially when their products are turned into cheese or they end up as a nice juicy steak:rotfl:
  • tori.k
    tori.k Posts: 3,592 Forumite
    I'm another that says give it a little time, we used to live on the coast when we move inland i couldn't settle for weeks took a while to work out that it was the lack of the ambient noise of the ocean that i had long stopped noticing.
    The same happens here each year during lambing the first night is disturbed then it just fades into the background noise.
  • glasgowdan
    glasgowdan Posts: 2,967
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    I think if i were you I'd do it up and sell it on... buyers will be content thinking you're a developer and hopefully you'll come out of it with a little profit.

    And next time make sure you spend hours sitting in the car or walking around near the property, at various times day and night!
  • Goath
    Goath Posts: 63
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    edited 11 March 2018 at 7:40AM
    Hi
    We live bang next to the East coast mainline, and every 10 min you can hear but not see 125's & class 91's speed past.. the noise is very noticble then at night the freight trains rumble past making our house creak in the bedroom (I kid you not)

    At first I was worried but now I barely hear them (in the house) and when I do I find it strangely comforting.

    But health is more important than money... keep it for a year and then sell it on even if you lose a little your health is more important.
  • Norman_Castle
    Norman_Castle Posts: 11,871
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    As others have said try reducing the noise at the source. Stand next to it when cars are crossing to see exactly what is making the noise. A loose grid rattling against concrete can be very noisy but easy to quieten.
  • RedFraggle
    RedFraggle Posts: 1,309
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    If sleep is a problem try having a portable fan on in the bedroom. The constant noise will override intermittent noise.
    Officially in a clique of idiots
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