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    • Simon7685
    • By Simon7685 9th May 19, 10:13 AM
    • 1,067Posts
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    Simon7685
    Paying for care at home
    • #1
    • 9th May 19, 10:13 AM
    Paying for care at home 9th May 19 at 10:13 AM
    My Mother has end stage kidney failure and end stage heart failure and we have recently arranged care for her to remain in her own home. As a result a financial assessment was carried out, the majority of the DRE was not taken into account. The end result though was that she has nothing to pay.

    However she has now been awarded the higher rate of AA she previously got the low rate. The council were aware that the AA was being looked at and I now need to advise them it has been awarded.

    So they will now review her financial assessment. As I said the majority of the DRE we asked for have not been applied, I will be asking for them to be taken into account and could do with some guidance as to what is allowed. Having spent many hours on the internet I still am no clearer as to what can be allowed.

    I am in receipt of UC and get the carer element included of £40 a week as a result she lost her SDP of £64.30 which I still think is wrong but there you go.
    I cook all her meals and take everything down in containers and the carer heats it in the microwave as she does not like frozen ready meals.
    I also do all her shopping every few days as and when she needs it.
    I also take her everywhere she has to go for medical appointments or anything else.
    I collect supplementary prescriptions and get them from the chemist. Also lots of other little errands as needed.

    So I get £25 a week from her to cover my petrol costs and for gas and electric I use in doing her meals. The council have not allowed any of this as a DRE. Being on UC I cannot afford to pay for all the fuel or extra gas/electric I am using to do all the things I do for her UC hardly covers my own costs as it is.
    She also pays for half of my insurance and road tax each year as again I wouldn't have the car if I didn't need it to support her. No regard was taken of this in her assessment.
    As she is all but housebound now, she has broadband and a laptop which allows her to keep in touch with people and she will use it to identify things she wants me to get for her like clothes. No regard to these costs were taken into account.
    Finally as a result it looks like the council will now basically take the increase in AA off her to help pay for her care. Even though the extra amount is for night time care which the council do not provide, which seems harsh.

    It is not about not being prepared to contribute towards her care but it does not seem right that they take with one hand and don't have regard to things that make her life more comfortable.

    If anyone has any experience of whether some of the things listed should be taken into account as DRE I would be grateful of the.advice.

    It is remarkable that having and paying a gardener can be allowed but paying for running costs of a car that allows me to do her shopping and provide home cooked meals can't.
Page 1
    • venison
    • By venison 9th May 19, 2:08 PM
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    • 4,465 Thanks
    venison
    • #2
    • 9th May 19, 2:08 PM
    • #2
    • 9th May 19, 2:08 PM
    <shakes head> you charge your own mother for the electricity to cook for her?
    I wonder how much you would owe her for everything she did for you without charge?

    You start off by saying she has "nothing to pay" which is a result, my dad pays £150 a week for home care, she may lose some of this due to getting higher AA you just report that then wait and see.
    If you are not part of the solution then you must be part of the problem.
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 9th May 19, 7:18 PM
    • 6,568 Posts
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    sheramber
    • #3
    • 9th May 19, 7:18 PM
    • #3
    • 9th May 19, 7:18 PM
    Why can't you cook her meals in her own house , using her own gas and electric?

    If you are cooking your own meals at the same time there is no xtra fuel used.

    Chemists usually have a home delivery service for prescriptions.

    If you stopped claiming the care element would your mother be entitled to SDP so gaining £24.30.

    The clothes could be bought online and delivered to the door

    She could get home visits or hospital transport if she is unable to go to appointments.

    That may be why the council don't consider them necessary expenses , they are choices.

    if your mother doesn't pay anything then what difference would it make if they took the 'expenses' you have into account.

    Do you expect the council to pay you for all the things you do for your mother?

    Is that not what families do for each other?.
    • poppy12345
    • By poppy12345 9th May 19, 10:37 PM
    • 5,222 Posts
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    poppy12345
    • #4
    • 9th May 19, 10:37 PM
    • #4
    • 9th May 19, 10:37 PM
    Unbelievable that you charge your own mother for using your electric/gas to cook her meals, even though she lost her SDP because you claimed carers allowance for looking after her... my head shakes in total disbelief!!
    • Cyclamen
    • By Cyclamen 10th May 19, 8:51 AM
    • 465 Posts
    • 467 Thanks
    Cyclamen
    • #5
    • 10th May 19, 8:51 AM
    • #5
    • 10th May 19, 8:51 AM
    The DRE system is really hard to follow. It is a bit of a postcode lottery.

    The system would not discount fuel costs for your mum unless they were 'over the average use for a similar property' so that my be why they don't count your cooking costs.

    Your car costs wouldn't be counted but there may be a voluntary driver scheme near you such as LINK that would take you both to her appointments and bring you both home. There is a voluntary contribution for this and that may be allowable as a DRE. I get the taxi fair for two GP visits a month counted as DRE as I am not well enough to walk/ wheel/use bus.

    Prescriptions.. these can be delivered and most chemists will bring them in if you authorise them to use a keysafe code.

    If you stopped claiming Carers allowance it is likely that the extra amount your Mum recieves would be taken as 'her contribution' as it would increase her income.

    Has she any need for equipment, wheelchair maintenance,
    special clothing easy to put on velcro type shoes
    incontinence pads or body wipes etc.
    Does she require a special diet that increases expense such as sugar free, gluten free?
    non prescription meds (supported by GP)
    Extra laundry due to spills, accidents or just being in bed more?
    entry fee's for carers when they take her out.. if going as carer not daughter.

    My biggest DRE is my wheelchair.. maintenace, new tyres, cannisters of air for tyres as i cant pump them up myself, new batteries etc.

    There is nothing in this area for maintaining a home. I am lucky we own ours but that does mean we have to pay upkeep for things tenants get done for them.. so slowly saving for a roof repair.

    It is very very common for people to have to pay towards their care. I think it's still free in Scotland (but could be wrong) but the rest of us are assessed.

    Ask your council to provide you with their policy on DRE.
    • mac.d
    • By mac.d 10th May 19, 9:04 AM
    • 819 Posts
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    mac.d
    • #6
    • 10th May 19, 9:04 AM
    • #6
    • 10th May 19, 9:04 AM
    It is very very common for people to have to pay towards their care. I think it's still free in Scotland (but could be wrong) but the rest of us are assessed.
    Originally posted by Cyclamen
    It is only personal care that is free, any other care provided, like meals, shopping, housework etc has to be paid for.
    • Simon7685
    • By Simon7685 10th May 19, 3:14 PM
    • 1,067 Posts
    • 446 Thanks
    Simon7685
    • #7
    • 10th May 19, 3:14 PM
    • #7
    • 10th May 19, 3:14 PM
    Unbelievable that you charge your own mother for using your electric/gas to cook her meals, even though she lost her SDP because you claimed carers allowance for looking after her... my head shakes in total disbelief!!
    Originally posted by poppy12345
    Once again another judgemental person that does not know the full facts or the situation

    To clarify I am on UC after all our bills are paid my daughter and I live off £65 per week. My Mother is fully aware of that and gives me the money to help out. Without it I would not have the car as to be honest I could not afford to run it. She would then be stuck, who would get her shopping? Who would take her to appointments? Who would take her out for other things when she is able?

    Don't you think if I could afford to do everything without her helping out I would? Perhaps you should try living on £65 a week and see how difficult it is, robbing Peter to pay Paul all the time!

    I am not claiming Carers Allowance for looking after her, so get your facts right before you climb on your high horse! I receive the carer element of UC. When I had to go onto UC if I did not receive the Carer Element I would be expected to spend 38 hours a week looking for work and therefore not able to spend those hours looking after her, doing meals, shopping, taking her to appointments, sorting her bills out and whatever else she needs.

    She lost the SDP because I got the Carer element of UC yes, however she would be no better off if I didn't have it as the council regard it as income and would take it to help pay towards the extra care she needs that I can't do. That was made clear at the financial assessment.

    I am tired of being accused of being a villain because she helps out with the running costs of a car and helps with gas and electric. I do almost everything for her apart from the things that she does not want her son doing like helping her get dressed/undressed, taking a shower or being washed.

    So get your facts right before you start judging people!!!
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 10th May 19, 4:10 PM
    • 30,987 Posts
    • 79,411 Thanks
    Mojisola
    • #8
    • 10th May 19, 4:10 PM
    • #8
    • 10th May 19, 4:10 PM
    Once again another judgemental person that does not know the full facts or the situation

    I am tired of being accused of being a villain because she helps out with the running costs of a car and helps with gas and electric. I do almost everything for her apart from the things that she does not want her son doing like helping her get dressed/undressed, taking a shower or being washed.

    So get your facts right before you start judging people!!!
    Originally posted by Simon7685
    I looked after my Mum and Dad for many years - they gave me some money every week. It was far less than they would have had to pay someone else to do a fraction of the stuff I did for them.

    Don't let other people's views upset you - you know your situation - they don't.
    • lisyloo
    • By lisyloo 10th May 19, 4:34 PM
    • 24,279 Posts
    • 12,713 Thanks
    lisyloo
    • #9
    • 10th May 19, 4:34 PM
    • #9
    • 10th May 19, 4:34 PM
    It is remarkable that having and paying a gardener can be allowed but paying for running costs of a car that allows me to do her shopping and provide home cooked meals can't.
    Originally posted by Simon7685
    Sorry to hear about your troubles.
    I have some idea of how difficult it can be.

    However food can be delivered by supermarkets these days so you can understand that the tax payer may not be too keen on shopping costs. Similarly the tax payer may not be too keen on meeting her food preferences when community meals are available.
    Iím not judging but pointing out she canít be picky at the tax payers expense.

    Has she tried Wiltshire farm foods?
    My FIL hated the community meals (which were also Wiltshire farm foods) but really enjoyed the frozen ones. The difference was night and day and heís from a pretty fussy generation.

    She should be able to get a district nurse/doctor to visit and prescriptions can be delivered.

    Iím just trying to point out that local authorities and tax payers will expense the cheapest option.
    If you want to use a more expensive option then thatís a choice not a necessity.
    • poppy12345
    • By poppy12345 10th May 19, 6:51 PM
    • 5,222 Posts
    • 4,813 Thanks
    poppy12345
    Don't you think if I could afford to do everything without her helping out I would? Perhaps you should try living on £65 a week and see how difficult it is, robbing Peter to pay Paul all the time!
    Originally posted by Simon7685
    I've actually lived off less that that thanks! I just can't believe you charge your own mother for gas and electric use yet you have to cook your own meals. Sorry but i stand by what i said...
    • Simon7685
    • By Simon7685 10th May 19, 7:53 PM
    • 1,067 Posts
    • 446 Thanks
    Simon7685
    I've actually lived off less that that thanks! I just can't believe you charge your own mother for gas and electric use yet you have to cook your own meals. Sorry but i stand by what i said...
    Originally posted by poppy12345
    However it was not me asking her to pay for my gas/electric, that is the difference. She wanted to give me something, I offered to do her meals for her and never intended asking her to contribute. She insisted I either accept or she would not have the meals!

    Incidentally it does in fact cost more as she has different things from us, I cook what she wants also I never buy any veg or salad using her money it comes out of what I get for my daughter and myself. There are also lots of bits here and there that I don't take money for which I guarantee would far outweigh the amount she gives me anyway but I guess that doesn't matter.

    I spend a great deal of time doing things for her, which is what matters at the end of the day, I don't do it for money, I do it because she is my Mother and slowly losing the battle for life as each day passes.
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 11th May 19, 4:59 PM
    • 6,568 Posts
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    sheramber
    You have been given many suggestions of help that could be available to your mother. If you choose not to use them then that is your choice but don't complain about doing it all and don't expect the council to pay for it.
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