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  • FIRST POST
    • SHAKERMAKER
    • By SHAKERMAKER 24th May 19, 6:16 PM
    • 82Posts
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    SHAKERMAKER
    Managing our finances - husband and wife
    • #1
    • 24th May 19, 6:16 PM
    Managing our finances - husband and wife 24th May 19 at 6:16 PM
    Hoping for some input here.

    Husband and I are overhauling our finances. We just aren't sure of the best way of managing our incomings and outgoings.

    We currently have 2 joint accounts: my wages paid into one account (just over 1k), and his paid into the other (2.5k-2.9k) monthly.
    My wages pay for food and fuel.
    Everything else is from his wage.

    We want to have 'separate' money. We can't buy each other presents (Christmas or Birthday) without knowing how much it cost and where from as it shows on the statements. We have no independence financially.

    How do other couples manage it where two people have different earnings but want to contribute towards the home etc?

    Thank you!
Page 1
    • Robin9
    • By Robin9 24th May 19, 6:25 PM
    • 4,342 Posts
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    Robin9
    • #2
    • 24th May 19, 6:25 PM
    • #2
    • 24th May 19, 6:25 PM
    Why not simply open individual accounts for both of you and give yourselves a personal allowance of say 200 a month.
    Never pay on an estimated bill
    • SHAKERMAKER
    • By SHAKERMAKER 24th May 19, 6:27 PM
    • 82 Posts
    • 14 Thanks
    SHAKERMAKER
    • #3
    • 24th May 19, 6:27 PM
    • #3
    • 24th May 19, 6:27 PM
    Thank you Robin9.
    I like that idea.
    Do you think 200 is a reasonable figure?
    • Sky_
    • By Sky_ 24th May 19, 6:28 PM
    • 398 Posts
    • 1,411 Thanks
    Sky_
    • #4
    • 24th May 19, 6:28 PM
    • #4
    • 24th May 19, 6:28 PM
    We have one joint account where all income goes and all bills are paid from.
    We also have several savings accounts and each have an individual 'spending' account for our personal spending allowances, which are purely for fun spends, presents etc. These have ranged from 80 to 200 each, at different times in our marriage.



    Money comes into the joint account and after allowing enough for bills/direct debits/groceries etc, a fixed amount goes into our personal accounts and the remainder goes into savings. It's worked for us for a couple of decades--currently we each have 150 personal monthly spends because I've recently reduced my working hours, so our overall income is less.
    Feb 2019/today Barclays: 3668/ 389 MBNA: 7800/ 7395. (Total debt: 11468 7784) DFD: December 2020/ August 2020

    Mortgage: March 2016: 189,000/ June 2019: 164,000
    • SHAKERMAKER
    • By SHAKERMAKER 24th May 19, 6:31 PM
    • 82 Posts
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    SHAKERMAKER
    • #5
    • 24th May 19, 6:31 PM
    • #5
    • 24th May 19, 6:31 PM
    Thank you Sky_
    I think we'd have to do some calculations about personal expenditure.
    • Terry Towelling
    • By Terry Towelling 24th May 19, 6:38 PM
    • 1,474 Posts
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    Terry Towelling
    • #6
    • 24th May 19, 6:38 PM
    • #6
    • 24th May 19, 6:38 PM
    We have our own accounts and all of our individual incomes are paid into those. We also have one joint account for bills and expenses. We worked out our total annual outgoings for literally everything (including holidays, birthday gifts etc) and divided that by 12 to get a monthly average and split that equally between the pair of us and paid that into the joint account by standing order on payday each month. Any money left in our own individual accounts is our own to save/spend as we each wish.

    To make sure there were no issues caused by irregular spending patterns we also put in some extra to start it off and to cover those times.

    When one of us retired, the differential between our incomes caused us to rethink and we then 'weighted' our contributions to a certain extent. We are now both retired and paying in equally again. Works perfectly if you are in the right relationship.
    • Rich1976
    • By Rich1976 24th May 19, 8:00 PM
    • 183 Posts
    • 77 Thanks
    Rich1976
    • #7
    • 24th May 19, 8:00 PM
    • #7
    • 24th May 19, 8:00 PM
    We do virtually the same thing as Sky

    Both incomes paid into a joint account which all the Bills are paid from by Direct Debit.

    We have a joint fun money allowance for meals out, cinema trips, coffees etc

    Food and Petrol is put onto a 'joint' credit card and this is paid in full from the joint account.

    Then we have standing orders to various savings accounts for holidays, Car Expenses and Home repairs

    the balance left is transferred to our individual accounts as spending money for ourselves

    I find it helps to keeps a spreadsheet each month which has the incomes less all the expenses and whatever is left is divided equally between the 2 of us. It also helps to treat the income as one Household income instead of mine and yours. I dont understand married couples who still treat the incomes and expenditure as my responsibility or your responsibility. Everything is a shared responsibility.
    Last edited by Rich1976; 24-05-2019 at 8:02 PM.
    • SHAKERMAKER
    • By SHAKERMAKER 24th May 19, 8:30 PM
    • 82 Posts
    • 14 Thanks
    SHAKERMAKER
    • #8
    • 24th May 19, 8:30 PM
    • #8
    • 24th May 19, 8:30 PM
    I have a spreadsheet, just needs major updating.
    Thank you.
    Really glad of everyone's input, its helping to make sense of it all.
    • xylophone
    • By xylophone 25th May 19, 1:08 AM
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    xylophone
    • #9
    • 25th May 19, 1:08 AM
    • #9
    • 25th May 19, 1:08 AM
    You might each open a TSB sole account and each have your salaries paid in to your own account.

    https://www.tsb.co.uk/personal/

    You might then open a Santander 123 Lite joint account and move all DDs for Council Tax, utilities/ phone/ insurance etc to it.

    https://www.santander.co.uk/personal/current-accounts/123-lite-current-account

    You would each set up a monthly standing order from your sole account to the joint account.

    You might open a joint savings account to hold your emergency fund and each set up a SO to it each month.

    https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/article-1583859/Best-savings-rates-General-savings-Internet-branch.html

    What remains in your sole account is your spending money.
    • trailingspouse
    • By trailingspouse 25th May 19, 3:03 AM
    • 3,591 Posts
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    trailingspouse
    Until recently we had a joint account, and absolutely everything went into it, and came out of it. Worked fine until he left...
    • robatwork
    • By robatwork 25th May 19, 3:08 PM
    • 5,178 Posts
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    robatwork
    Until recently we had a joint account, and absolutely everything went into it, and came out of it. Worked fine until he left...
    Originally posted by trailingspouse
    Well that's how it should be in marriage. All in or not at all.

    Presumably once he left you setup your own account and set all your DDs and income to there?

    Sorry of course about your marriage breakdown, but at least you won't be trailing any longer....
    • HampshireH
    • By HampshireH 25th May 19, 3:12 PM
    • 1,647 Posts
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    HampshireH
    We have seperate accounts.

    Only I had 4 current accounts 2 savers and a fixed term raisin account. All with variable interest rates /rewards to my partners 1 current acc.

    So we have used one of those current reward accounts as our "joint" account for all household bills/mortgage etc we pay an amount in each to cover these monthly. We then have DDs or SO set up to pay off any other debts like the CC or into savings.

    Everything left over in our own accounts is ours to do as we please. We have jointly agreed our expenditure, rate of savings and repayments for big purchases. We budget together. Works for us and the other has no need to regularly check each others spending.

    I see a lot of posts questioning peoples relationships if they dont have joint accounts. But this works for us
    • Terry Towelling
    • By Terry Towelling 25th May 19, 3:45 PM
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    Terry Towelling
    I see a lot of posts questioning people's relationships if they dont have joint accounts. But this works for us
    Originally posted by HampshireH
    Yes, it is a common misconception that finances not fully integrated is a sign of a 'faulty' relationship - and sometimes it is, in which case it is possibly best to keep them separate - but it doesn't have to mean that at all. Whatever works for you, works for you.

    Our own arrangement (outlined a few posts ago) evolved that way because we had our own accounts before we met and we continued to do this until we could actually buy a place together. At that point, we thought that we should integrate our finances to cover expenditure and it never really occurred to either of us to abandon our own accounts at the same time.

    In fact, given the problems we see on this forum when accounts get frozen, it probably makes sense to keep separate identities as a contingency.

    Now that my wife has dementia, and I have Power of Attorney, I am actually required to keep some separation between our financial affairs but I don't see having a joint account for jointly-incurred expenditure as 'real' joint entanglement.
    • DigForVictory
    • By DigForVictory 25th May 19, 5:23 PM
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    DigForVictory
    I know a couple who do not have a joint account as they have fundamentally different approaches & thus are happily agreed that he covers all one field & she covers another & that there is absolutely no financial link.

    They had to have two meetings with the tax inspector to explain this, but at the end, the inspector puttered off, apparently somewhat bemused at human nature & empty-handed.
    • arnoldy
    • By arnoldy 25th May 19, 5:37 PM
    • 71 Posts
    • 92 Thanks
    arnoldy
    You are married, so everything into one account. if you want a small amount of money separate for presents etc just open a separate instant access card account each and transfer 50 per month in each. Why complicate it further?
    • Probi
    • By Probi 25th May 19, 7:25 PM
    • 120 Posts
    • 58 Thanks
    Probi
    Me and my wife get paid into our own accounts, we then move enough between us into our joint account to cover all Bill's and a bit extra for meals out etc

    We both transfer different amounts so that we are both left with the same amount of "fun" money, this way we know all joint expenditure is covered and what is left is ours to do whatever we wish with.
    • robatwork
    • By robatwork 25th May 19, 9:27 PM
    • 5,178 Posts
    • 5,978 Thanks
    robatwork
    Me and my wife get paid into our own accounts, we then move enough between us into our joint account to cover all Bill's and a bit extra for meals out etc

    We both transfer different amounts so that we are both left with the same amount of "fun" money, this way we know all joint expenditure is covered and what is left is ours to do whatever we wish with.
    Originally posted by Probi
    I'll just never get this way of thinking and managing a marriage.

    Your money is hers and hers is yours - that's what you agree to in a marriage contract.

    I can't help thinking people who need separate accounts feel they have something to hide, or are otherwise embarrassed by what they spend their "fun" money on. Or worse, there's a trust issue at the centre of the relationship.
    • HampshireH
    • By HampshireH 26th May 19, 8:01 AM
    • 1,647 Posts
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    HampshireH
    I'll just never get this way of thinking and managing a marriage.

    Your money is hers and hers is yours - that's what you agree to in a marriage contract.

    I can't help thinking people who need separate accounts feel they have something to hide, or are otherwise embarrassed by what they spend their "fun" money on. Or worse, there's a trust issue at the centre of the relationship.
    Originally posted by robatwork
    Hence proving my previous post that some people on here perceive others to have poorer relationship if you don't have all money in one place.

    The trust comment works both ways. It could be seen that by having a joint account and no individual accounts a couple dont trust each other to manage their money independantly without the other keeping tabs.

    Neither are right or wrong & neither show a stronger relationship than the other in my opinion. Its personal choice & what works for that couple.
    • Zero Sum
    • By Zero Sum 26th May 19, 9:13 AM
    • 958 Posts
    • 737 Thanks
    Zero Sum
    I'll just never get this way of thinking and managing a marriage.

    Your money is hers and hers is yours - that's what you agree to in a marriage contract.

    I can't help thinking people who need separate accounts feel they have something to hide, or are otherwise embarrassed by what they spend their "fun" money on. Or worse, there's a trust issue at the centre of the relationship.
    Originally posted by robatwork
    What happens if one side is hopeless at managing their finances & has previous for financial irresponsibility. And the other is really good & plays the game with the banks to maximise returns which the other side doesnt understand.
    • robatwork
    • By robatwork 26th May 19, 10:53 AM
    • 5,178 Posts
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    robatwork
    What happens if one side is hopeless at managing their finances & has previous for financial irresponsibility. And the other is really good & plays the game with the banks to maximise returns which the other side doesnt understand.
    Originally posted by Zero Sum
    What if one side is hopeless at housework and has previous for slovenly behaviour? And the other keeps the house in tip-top condition. Would you suggest separate houses....or that they work together on each other's problems?
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