Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 10th Sep 17, 8:30 PM
    • 1,323Posts
    • 7,129Thanks
    Nicnak
    Debt Free Year
    • #1
    • 10th Sep 17, 8:30 PM
    Debt Free Year 10th Sep 17 at 8:30 PM
    Hi,

    I've pretty much buried my head in the sand over the past 15 years about debt and what it means. I've always seen it as 'normal' to have debt for things, and never thought twice about it. Recently though, I have wanted to think about cutting down my work hours, and I just can't. I can't be the mum I want to be to my 4 year old because I need to work to make sure I can pay the bills and debts. That is when it hit home, that I can't continue like this. I am having a wedding reception in December, which I know is going to take up most of my 'spare' cash, but from January 2018, I will make a difference to my debts.

    Currently have
    485 0% credit card. It was 2000 in July, So I have been ensuring that I am working on it.
    7500 Tesco loan at 3.2% - Paying 220 a month and due up in Three years
    17,450 car loan. Car is in negative equity and I'm stuck in the PCP. The car also is over mileage and has damage. I am 10 months away from handing it back, but with excess mileage and damage, I am thinking this might not be the best idea. Currently paying 351 a month for this luxury that I am thinking I don't need. (I shouldn't have got it, but I did, I can't change what I have stupidly done, and now need to work on the best options).
    I spend money every month on things I don't need, and really need somewhere to record and focus on what it is I am doing, and the inspiration to keep going when I see progress is being made.

    I've started a written diary as well to try to help. If I pay off these debts, then I know that I will be 500 better off. In April, my phone is due up for renewal, and I have already looked at the SIM only deals which will take it to the 500 a month mark.

    i am going to try to earn some extra per month to pay off the debts, which in the short term might reduce the time I have with my daughter.

    Here goes...

    I really need to do this now.
Page 57
    • Onebrokelady
    • By Onebrokelady 9th Nov 18, 10:36 AM
    • 849 Posts
    • 4,387 Thanks
    Onebrokelady
    I suffer really bad from anxiety sometimes, and today is one of those days. I think the worst of everything.

    The only way I can seem to deal with it is to think of the worst possibly scenario from it, and then see if I could handle that. Once I have worked through it, I can usually deal with it, but for a few minutes it is pretty scary to go through.

    I daren't people my anxieties or write them down, as I am anxious they might tell on me (pathetic) and then my fears will come true. It's all so surreal when I am thinking like this, but then goes away relatively easily for a few weeks and then I have another full on day where I feel very anxious.

    I wish I could just think 'so what'.

    x
    Originally posted by Nicnak
    I'm another who suffers with anxiety and I also try to deal with it by thinking of the worst possible scenario then I try to see if I can deal with that,when I realised how much debt I was in I felt sick and could not stop shaking,this went on for weeks,I couldn't sleep and was in a right state,I am keeping my debt secret from my family so this added extra pressure,they still don't know for various reasons,most of the time I'm ok but then I have a wobble but I keep telling myself I'm still here the world hasn't ended and I'm still paying everyone I should be,I just literally take it one day at a time now and I try not to think what if because that just makes it worse

    I had a bad night last night worrying about money so this morning I've checked my bank account and it's not as bad as I thought,I should have checked it yesterday but didn't,I wish I had now because I would have slept so much better
    I would check the info you are worried about because as Hairy said you might be worried about nothing
    Just keep swimming
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = 17,630 Paid To Date = 1,440 Total Now Owed = 16,190
    Emergency Fund = 300 Xmas savings = 400
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 9th Nov 18, 12:26 PM
    • 1,323 Posts
    • 7,129 Thanks
    Nicnak
    Thanks,

    Yes, I think we put off things sometimes as a way of dealing and they are never as bad as we think.

    I'm sorry you suffer too. It is such an awful thing.

    Keeping your debts from everyone must really be tough and such a burden on you as well. I'm glad you're on here though as at least you can get some support. x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated 21st Oct
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Tesco Loan 7500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 10,812 Total = 25,330 10,812 59% gone EMF #252 = 1300/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #589
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #71
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 9th Nov 18, 12:30 PM
    • 852 Posts
    • 4,296 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    I'm excited for the nectar double up, I didn't spend much last year and have been collecting all this year so I have over 90 in nectar points! After your shop with your mum you may even have an extra 5 you can exchange! Just go to the customer service desk in store to double up more if you have any left.

    I never trust no win no fee things but agree with the other about reading through it. Someone I know signed up for something similar for their mortgage and I posted about it here as I was concerned but after advice here it seems that they will be ok. It might be worth searching in the forum to see if anyone else here has asked about it? I love this forum for absolutely anything money related.
    Change the way you see things and the things you see will change
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 9th Nov 18, 12:30 PM
    • 1,323 Posts
    • 7,129 Thanks
    Nicnak
    I got myself out in nature. Cleared the leaves from my garden. It took a while, but then it was just like I hadn't even been out there. x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated 21st Oct
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Tesco Loan 7500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 10,812 Total = 25,330 10,812 59% gone EMF #252 = 1300/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #589
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #71
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 9th Nov 18, 12:33 PM
    • 1,323 Posts
    • 7,129 Thanks
    Nicnak
    I'm excited for the nectar double up, I didn't spend much last year and have been collecting all this year so I have over 90 in nectar points! After your shop with your mum you may even have an extra 5 you can exchange! Just go to the customer service desk in store to double up more if you have any left.

    I never trust no win no fee things but agree with the other about reading through it. Someone I know signed up for something similar for their mortgage and I posted about it here as I was concerned but after advice here it seems that they will be ok. It might be worth searching in the forum to see if anyone else here has asked about it? I love this forum for absolutely anything money related.
    Originally posted by DebtFreeDuo
    Oh, I think I probably will you know! I am sure of it as I was up to almost 5. I will need it as the outside Christmas lights have been taken by ex. Little one won't let me not have lights up outside! Think all my money is going on Christmas replacement things, but at least little one won't feel like this year is different home wise. Either I use the vouchers or I spend cash. x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated 21st Oct
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Tesco Loan 7500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 10,812 Total = 25,330 10,812 59% gone EMF #252 = 1300/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #589
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #71
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 9th Nov 18, 12:40 PM
    • 852 Posts
    • 4,296 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    I imagine the first Christmas is the hardest after a split with the children as they have been used to Christmas being a particular way, my ds was still a baby when me and ex split. Your DD is still young though so she won't remember much, don't feel that you have to match last years Christmas for her as she will love it regardless.
    Change the way you see things and the things you see will change
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 9th Nov 18, 12:55 PM
    • 1,323 Posts
    • 7,129 Thanks
    Nicnak
    I imagine the first Christmas is the hardest after a split with the children as they have been used to Christmas being a particular way, my ds was still a baby when me and ex split. Your DD is still young though so she won't remember much, don't feel that you have to match last years Christmas for her as she will love it regardless.
    Originally posted by DebtFreeDuo
    Thanks, I don't want her to feel like it is worse if that makes sense? I can cope with 'the same' or 'better', but not her feeling like it is much worse for her. x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated 21st Oct
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Tesco Loan 7500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 10,812 Total = 25,330 10,812 59% gone EMF #252 = 1300/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #589
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #71
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 9th Nov 18, 1:25 PM
    • 852 Posts
    • 4,296 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    She won't feel like it is worse and its not the things that make Christmas its the traditions we create for them and the memories they have of their time spent with us. Things won't be the same because of the changes but it sounds like your bond has improved recently. I know my boy would be happy whether he had a big pile of things or just a couple of things to open, the important thing is that its a little magical for them, its a special time of year which for us is about spending lots of time with my family which we don't do a great deal of over the course of the year.
    Change the way you see things and the things you see will change
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 9th Nov 18, 2:23 PM
    • 5,727 Posts
    • 40,398 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    She won't feel like it is worse and its not the things that make Christmas its the traditions we create for them and the memories they have of their time spent with us. Things won't be the same because of the changes but it sounds like your bond has improved recently. I know my boy would be happy whether he had a big pile of things or just a couple of things to open, the important thing is that its a little magical for them, its a special time of year which for us is about spending lots of time with my family which we don't do a great deal of over the course of the year.
    Originally posted by DebtFreeDuo
    I agree with this. Christmas is so much more than just the presents.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = 58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    EMERGENCY FUND = 17
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 9th Nov 18, 2:25 PM
    • 5,727 Posts
    • 40,398 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    It's a good idea to search the forum for any info about no win no fee deals.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = 58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    EMERGENCY FUND = 17
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 9th Nov 18, 5:36 PM
    • 1,323 Posts
    • 7,129 Thanks
    Nicnak
    That's what I mean. i want the traditions and tree, and house to be festive for her too.

    Little one isn't present driven, but she loves the traditions we have built. x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated 21st Oct
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Tesco Loan 7500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 10,812 Total = 25,330 10,812 59% gone EMF #252 = 1300/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #589
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #71
    • CCW007
    • By CCW007 9th Nov 18, 7:31 PM
    • 16 Posts
    • 52 Thanks
    CCW007
    She might enjoy creating new ones, particularly if she is involved in deciding what to do.
    • Onebrokelady
    • By Onebrokelady 9th Nov 18, 8:30 PM
    • 849 Posts
    • 4,387 Thanks
    Onebrokelady
    I'm going to have to stop reading any posts about your ex, they make my blood pressure go up, why take the Christmas lights for God's sake

    And breathe..........I'm sure your little girl will enjoy this Christmas just as much as last year,when I split with my ex I saw it as a chance to do things the way me and my girls wanted to do it,so we started our own traditions,we didn't really have any when their dad was around but we came up with a few after he went,it made that first Christmas a bit more special and took our minds off the fact that he had left,do you have a Range store where you are or Wilkos, they have some lovely lights and they are quite reasonable too

    My family have banned me from buying any more Christmas decorations because we have so many,one thing I started doing for mine when they were little was to buy them a little decoration for the tree every year with the intention that when they moved out they would have them to decorate their first tree and would be full of memories,I still get them one each now even though DD1 is 34 and married and DD2 is 31 she will be at home until she finishes her degree though ,as they got older they started buying me one every year too,so now I have some very special decorations that have lovely memories attached to them
    Just keep swimming
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = 17,630 Paid To Date = 1,440 Total Now Owed = 16,190
    Emergency Fund = 300 Xmas savings = 400
    • Onebrokelady
    • By Onebrokelady 9th Nov 18, 8:34 PM
    • 849 Posts
    • 4,387 Thanks
    Onebrokelady
    Forgot to say, I also made sure we put the decorations up together when they were old enough to help, we would make a day of it and have nice food with hot chocolate and as they got old enough to drink that morphed into a glass or three of wine as we realised the decorations were always easier to put up after a glass of wine for some reason
    Just keep swimming
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = 17,630 Paid To Date = 1,440 Total Now Owed = 16,190
    Emergency Fund = 300 Xmas savings = 400
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 10th Nov 18, 8:11 AM
    • 1,323 Posts
    • 7,129 Thanks
    Nicnak
    Forgot to say, I also made sure we put the decorations up together when they were old enough to help, we would make a day of it and have nice food with hot chocolate and as they got old enough to drink that morphed into a glass or three of wine as we realised the decorations were always easier to put up after a glass of wine for some reason
    Originally posted by Onebrokelady
    Thank you.

    We have had some traditions, but I have started to make more. I have bought us matching PJS for Christmas eve so we can be sat alike. She loves this. I have taken her to the range and she chose three decorations that she can hang up. She has asked for her own mini tree in her room so I have agreed she can put those decorations on it.

    I am taking her and my nephew to make stockings on Christmas Eve at the local garden centre - then we'll have a cookie and a drink afterwards and make that day as special as possible before we put our matching pjs on.

    I have nectar points saved up so will use some of them to buy outside lights.

    My ex doesn't think the same as us. He doesn't see that taking it from me isn't right. He will decorate his house with them to make it special for little one so that when she goes there it will be magical too. It isn't a competition for him, but he just sees it as normal. He asked yesterday why my parents weren't speaking to him anymore. I have no idea what to say as he does not see it at all.

    My new penny jar is all clean and dry now and taking pride of place. It is looking very empty so I need to make sure that I am putting all my pennies in it now.

    I am picking up the rest of the leaves later in the front garden with little one and then I have promised her a 10 LOL doll for her efforts.

    Hope everyone else has a nice weekend planned x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated 21st Oct
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Tesco Loan 7500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 10,812 Total = 25,330 10,812 59% gone EMF #252 = 1300/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #589
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #71
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 10th Nov 18, 6:39 PM
    • 1,323 Posts
    • 7,129 Thanks
    Nicnak
    Good evening,

    I have had a chilled day today. We cleared up the leaves, bought little one an LOL doll and then went to my parents for a few hours.

    I got a few bits from the supermarket, took something back that I decided I didn't want or need and then spent the afternoon watching films and Christmas things and relaxing.

    Little one was up at 4.49am this morning because of a cough and cold so it feels like it is about 10pm already.

    I'm still not sure if I will be paid on the 15th or not. I will wait until the day and see what my bank account says. Last month, I was off from the 4th and off for 9 days in September and still got paid my normal amount, so hoping the sick pay scheme I think I am entitled to is still relevant. I know I am not well enough to go back, and have enough savings for one month but that would leave me very vulnerable over Christmas at a time when I really need to be earning. I have some bits to sell to make up some money, but it wouldn't be enough at this point. It's just another anxiety thing I have. The minimum I would get is SSP, I guess that is a start.

    Looking forward to spending my vouchers on Monday. That will be a big help to my mood at the minute.
    x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated 21st Oct
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Tesco Loan 7500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 10,812 Total = 25,330 10,812 59% gone EMF #252 = 1300/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #589
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #71
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 10th Nov 18, 8:58 PM
    • 5,727 Posts
    • 40,398 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Fingers crossed that you do get paid on the 15th.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = 58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    EMERGENCY FUND = 17
    "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H Schuller
    • Onebrokelady
    • By Onebrokelady 10th Nov 18, 11:13 PM
    • 849 Posts
    • 4,387 Thanks
    Onebrokelady
    Thank you.

    We have had some traditions, but I have started to make more. I have bought us matching PJS for Christmas eve so we can be sat alike. She loves this. I have taken her to the range and she chose three decorations that she can hang up. She has asked for her own mini tree in her room so I have agreed she can put those decorations on it.

    I am taking her and my nephew to make stockings on Christmas Eve at the local garden centre - then we'll have a cookie and a drink afterwards and make that day as special as possible before we put our matching pjs on.

    I have nectar points saved up so will use some of them to buy outside lights.

    My ex doesn't think the same as us. He doesn't see that taking it from me isn't right. He will decorate his house with them to make it special for little one so that when she goes there it will be magical too. It isn't a competition for him, but he just sees it as normal. He asked yesterday why my parents weren't speaking to him anymore. I have no idea what to say as he does not see it at all.

    My new penny jar is all clean and dry now and taking pride of place. It is looking very empty so I need to make sure that I am putting all my pennies in it now.

    I am picking up the rest of the leaves later in the front garden with little one and then I have promised her a 10 LOL doll for her efforts.

    Hope everyone else has a nice weekend planned x
    Originally posted by Nicnak
    Love the Christmas's stocking making idea,my girls used to have a little tree each in their bedrooms,they loved it

    I don't think your ex is on his own in thinking the way he does ,I think it might possibly just be a man thing,I was just incredibly lucky that my ex left me everything but I think that was just because he felt guilty for leaving his girls,he never paid a penny in maintainance though and once he moved to the USA they never got anything from him for Xmas of birthdays,not even a card,he actually treated them quite badly and as a result of this I'm quite cynical when it comes to men in general,I'm aware there are some good ones out there,I just haven't come across any yet
    Just keep swimming
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = 17,630 Paid To Date = 1,440 Total Now Owed = 16,190
    Emergency Fund = 300 Xmas savings = 400
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 11th Nov 18, 7:35 AM
    • 1,323 Posts
    • 7,129 Thanks
    Nicnak
    I'm yet to find someone who is caring enough to understand all my allergies and all the things I have been through and will give me the time to understand me and my daughter. (I haven't looked, but I mean in life in general). I don't think I have come across any man ever who I feel could get it and support me.

    I think I am destined to be single for the rest of my life, and I am ok with that. x
    Last edited by Nicnak; 11-11-2018 at 8:30 AM.
    September 6th 2017 - Updated 21st Oct
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Tesco Loan 7500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 10,812 Total = 25,330 10,812 59% gone EMF #252 = 1300/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #589
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #71
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 11th Nov 18, 8:47 AM
    • 1,323 Posts
    • 7,129 Thanks
    Nicnak
    Today I am going on a remembrance parade with little one. Then ex is coming to clear his stuff out the loft, and then I am going for a meal with my parents and sister. Little one and my nephew will be there. It is my nephews birthday tomorrow so will be making up his presents this afternoon after Ex has cleared out the loft.

    I'm hoping he respects my thoughts on leaving the Christmas stuff for now and when I get them down to decorate the tree, we can each take stuff we want to take. The outside lights were left in the garage so that's how he managed to get them. If I would have sorted the decorations out, he would have felt that I wouldn't have been fair, so I am hoping he agrees to just leave them for another few weeks and then we can sort them out and take stuff when the trees are being put up.

    The tree was a gift from my mum so that is absolutely staying with me. I have bought a lot of decorations in the last few weeks so he won't be taking them as they are since we broke up.

    Another tough day. I hope that he manages to get everything today as it's so hard watching stuff be taken out of the house.

    I did find a fish tank in the loft though. It';s never been used so think I will buy little one a fish for Christmas. They are only a few pounds and I have the whole set up ready which would be the biggest expense. She constantly looks at my nephews and wants to feed him so this would be her chance now to have her own pet. Ideally, I would love a rabbit, but can't afford the hutch and other stuff.

    Single life is tough! Every single penny now means something. I realise even more how stupid I have been with finances and cars etc, and how I could be in a much better position if I would have paid off my debt earlier, or paid more of it off. I know you shouldn't look bad and have regrets. I know I am doing the best I can now, and managing to make some good headway. I just realise all could be different. I never ever want to be in this position again.

    It makes me more determined for the next year to get this right. January 2019 and goals, I am absolutely coming to get you. I had a goal of paying off 10k of debt in 2018. I haven't managed this. I will probably finish the year on 7k paid off. 10k was based on my life in January 2018, which as we can see, is totally different.

    December 2019, I am determined as possibly to be debt free. That doesn't include the 8k i now owe my ex. I will look at that in 2020, but 2019, is my year to clear off as much debt as possible.
    September 6th 2017 - Updated 21st Oct
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Tesco Loan 7500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 10,812 Total = 25,330 10,812 59% gone EMF #252 = 1300/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #589
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #71
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

216Posts Today

1,744Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • Watching Theresa May... seriously would anyone in their right mind truly want her job right now!

  • RT @thecheekypostie: @MartinSLewis Thanks to this, I have just skim read it. To those in Scotland - on page 548, Dounreay is mentioned by n?

  • Today's twitter poll: The 585 page draft agreement of the withdrawal of the UK from the EU has been published. A? https://t.co/8YLkPyzqYM

  • Follow Martin