MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Ken ‘save’ Deidre’s kids from being taken into care?

Hell no! Firstly this is a well known type of scam. I fell for a similar one a few years ago. Woman pushing a buggy saying she'd lost her purse and needed bus fare home, only a quid. I thought what the hell and gave it to her. A week later this very woman and her scam was discussed in the local paper.

Secondly, if all that was wrong with the house was money issues, that would not be grounds for taking kids into care. It's a ridiculous idea that they would do this. The problems would be more deep seated to attract the attentions of SS.

Thirdly, £10 just wouldn't solve the problem. What happens next time? How is it empowering the person to be creative and solve their own problems if they are bailed out of a situation. I'm sure anyone who is in debt would agree that having to actually sort that debt out is the best lesson in life for staying debt free.

I know there are many scammers who spin the same stories time after time to get money from strangers (needing bus fare home of whatever), but if this woman is in tears she's unlikely to be one of them.
It might be her fault she's run out of money, or it could be due to circumstances beyond her control. The point is, it's unlikely to be her children's fault.
If I could afford to I would not only buy her a couple of powercards, I'd offer to go home with her and help her tidy up too.

Secondly, if all that was wrong with the house was money issues, that would not be grounds for taking kids into care. It's a ridiculous idea that they would do this.

Though being out of electricity by itself probably wouldn't do it, you'd be surprised how little it takes to provoke an extreme overreaction from some social workers. I'm not suggesting that all or even most of them are like that, but I know at least a few are.

Sorry, but this woman needs more help than my tenner could give and who is looking after her kids while she's out desperately searching for cash?

climbgirl wrote: »

It's not that people are unhelpful and they want to believe the person is scamming, it's that most of the time it is a scam! I agree with you, it's a horrible situation if it was true and I think that most people here would help if it could be guaranteed that the situation was geniune.

I agree. If I was certain that this woman was genuine then I'd happily help, but unfortunately the scammers have ruined it for the genuine cases, and in big cities like London it seems more likely to be a crook most of the time.

It's not just that people are disinterested in helping others, they are sometimes afraid. A few years ago I stayed with a man at a bus stop and called the police because I was concerned about him. It turned out that he had lost his medication and was not the 'random nutter' he appeared from first glance. Most people ignored him, but it was late at night, an isolated spot, and not long after a knife attack from a care in the community case, so you can't blame people for being afraid. I'm glad I helped, but in retrospect it was possibly a bit foolish of me.

Incidentally, re social services. In my experience growing up with foster brothers and sisters, parents usually get quite a few chances. One boy we fostered was repeatedly sent back to his mother who wasn't a capable parent and was rarely there because she was funding her heroin problem through street prostitution. Sadly he's now in prison for murder and I can't help wondering how his life would have turned out if she'd not been given so many chances......

liitleblackcat wrote: »

Have none of you cynics heard of the parable of the Good Samaritan? .

Yes - and i would be great if everyone was honest but unfortunately some have ruined it for others. It's sad but I'm not surprised when people are cynical.

liitleblackcat wrote: »

I have stopped giving to anyone begging or collecting in the streets - I give to charity through standing orders so they can reclaim the tax and if someone is begging I may offer food, depending on their age, but most likely not.

I agree - I usually give to the charities instead. There's one old guy who I've given food and new socks to, but that's about it. I don't give anything to the guy who sits near our local cash machine because when he's away from his 'pitch' he always has a can of beer in his hand and he has two mobile phones :rolleyes: .