MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Ben go to Bill's wedding?

My brother announced some years ago that he was going to get married in the Carribean & wanted my husband to be best man. We told him that was fine if he wanted to go there, but we wouldnt be there because firstly, we couldn't afford it, and secondly, it wasn't a location we would personally choose for a holiday. I think it is extremely arrogant of people to choose such holidays and just assume that we are all desperate to join in. After realising MOST of their family and friends wouldn't be there, they abandoned the idea. Ultimately, they felt it was more important to have loved ones around them than an exotic location.

Bill is paying for the others, but only the accommodation, not the flights - did you read that too fast?

I think there's another dilemma here, regarding the CO2 emissions that will be created as a result of all these people flying to the Maldives. If Bill is marrying someone who lives in the Maldives then fair enough, but otherwise, there are plenty of perfectly lovely locations for a wedding that would have a much smaller carbon footprint.

Perhaps Ben ought to raise this issue with Bill and suggest that for the sake of the children he and his future wife no doubt intend to have, flying dozens of people to the Maldives for a wedding is exactly the sort of extravagance we all need to start doing without.

The location of the Maldives is particularly ironic, given that this low-lying group of islands will become uninhabitable in only a few decades if the sea level rises only a small amount.

Getting them to do the right thing would also solve Ben's money problem.

MSE_Lawrence wrote: »

this trip'll mean harsh budgeting, and basic food for the rest of the year.

Should Ben go to Bill's wedding?

YES

Regardless of the strength of the friendship.


The Maldives is a stunningly beautiful place that everybody should visit at least once in their life time. If the cost to Ben is just one year of budgeting and basic food it is a low price to pay for the holiday !!!

Plus we all know that he will get the best price for the flight using Martin's MSE tips.

Unfortunately many people decide to have big, expensive weddings and it doesn't just cost them lots of money, but the people who are invited too. Hubby and I have been to a family wedding which apparently cost the couple/their parents about £30k :eek: . This almost broke the bank for us too as we had to travel and pay for accommodation, gifts, etc, and whilst I suppose we had a choice to go or not, we would have been frowned upon had we not gone (ironically though, the couple in question got divorced 2 years later).

I'm sure that if Bill and Ben are good enough friends then Bill will understand Ben's financial situation, and therefore it shouldn't be a problem if Ben does not go. If Bill then decides to pay for Ben's flights then Ben has to decide whether he'd feel comfortable with that or not.

However, if Ben does decide to pay for himself and go then he should deffo get his money's worth from the free bar!!! :beer: