Fixing Today for a Brighter Tomorrow!

ftbwannabe · 30 August 2018 at 10:49AM

Sounds like a useful moment of realisation re spending double on going out with your partner. I've been that person (the one saying 'it's on me!' and the one saying 'erm, you need to buy your own') and I've also been the person saying yes to things I can't afford because i don't want my partner to feel like I'm restricting his options. Money is so emotional!
I suspect you & I both imagine or worry about what our partner's thinking in these situations, when actually they don't mind. And/or they'll get used to it. We're going to spend the rest of our time with these people, so being able to be level-headed about spending with them is important. But also really flipping hard!!

s1n25 · 30 August 2018 at 11:28AM

Keep up the good work!!
I'm in a similar position started by debt free diary in Aug, wanting to get rid of my debt before starting to save for the big day!!
Reading your diary has made me realise I'm not doing this alone and there are other people in the same situation! I was struggling with saying No to my partner if he suggested going out for food, or going for a 'few' drinks ended up with me being £70 down by the end of the night.

I have a similar budget for our wedding, I'm hoping to book a venue at the end of this month. Currently it's stressing me out! thinking about spending £10-15k on one day!!

Money, debts & wedding saving.. it's stressful!!

Good Luck! I look forward to seeing your updates and progress

SavingAFuture · 30 August 2018 at 4:27PM

ftbwannabe wrote: »

Sounds like a useful moment of realisation re spending double on going out with your partner. I've been that person (the one saying 'it's on me!' and the one saying 'erm, you need to buy your own') and I've also been the person saying yes to things I can't afford because i don't want my partner to feel like I'm restricting his options. Money is so emotional!
I suspect you & I both imagine or worry about what our partner's thinking in these situations, when actually they don't mind. And/or they'll get used to it. We're going to spend the rest of our time with these people, so being able to be level-headed about spending with them is important. But also really flipping hard!!

That's exactly it. Money can be really emotional! I need to learn to detach and realise that my OH won't think I love him less if I can't buy him stuff anymore, or if I ask him to contribute!
Thank you for making me see my feelings aren't crazy

SavingAFuture · 30 August 2018 at 4:37PM

s1n25 wrote: »

Keep up the good work!!

I have a similar budget for our wedding, I'm hoping to book a venue at the end of this month. Currently it's stressing me out! thinking about spending £10-15k on one day!!

Money, debts & wedding saving.. it's stressful!!

Good Luck! I look forward to seeing your updates and progress

You are definitely not alone!

I have got much better at saying "no" but it's so hard, isn’t it?
Mostly because I probably DO want to go to the pub/out for dinner really…

I totally agree re: spending that much on one day. We've gone back and forth about it, but ultimately decided that if we can afford to pay for it in full, we can have it.

I am so glad I started this diary. It makes me feel like I'm getting ever closer to the magical debt free day, and it's lovely to have your support

All the best,
SaF x

Working_Mum · 30 August 2018 at 4:40PM

Money open sup all sorts of emotions I have found!!

I read a really cool book called "5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman - it is very Americanised but the core messages are really super simple to understand. Basically there are 5 LL:-

* physical touch
* words of affirmation
* quality time
* acts of service
* gifts

I am a "quality time" gal so presents etc don't impress me but if I was a "gifts" kind of person I would need physical things!

Once you work out what your person is it is really easy to target love towards them in exactly the right kind of way.

SavingAFuture · 30 August 2018 at 5:12PM

Working_Mum wrote: »

I am a "quality time" gal so presents etc don't impress me but if I was a "gifts" kind of person I would need physical things!

Once you work out what your person is it is really easy to target love towards them in exactly the right kind of way.

That sounds really interesting! I love a good book. I might have to see if I can track it down, at a good price of course :rotfl:

I'm the same, "stuff" doesn't impress me but time and acts of kindness (like bringing me a cup of tea in the morning) mean all the world.

pidge04 · 30 August 2018 at 11:44PM

Just caught up with your diary. You are doing so well. Which month will be debt free in next year?

SavingAFuture · 31 August 2018 at 9:21AM

Thanks pidge! It doesn't always feel like I'm achieving much day-to-day so I'm glad you can see improvement!

My debt free date for the credit cards is (optimistically) April 2019. I then have a bit of an overdraft to pick off too (I haven't really posted about that yet - tackling one thing at a time seems to work for me) so I am aiming for August 2019. With a wedding in the middle :rotfl:

One day at a time...

SavingAFuture · 31 August 2018 at 9:32AM

Hurrah for pay day! It’s time for the monthly money shuffle.
Since beginning my debt free plans, I've become a little bit obsessed with my finances. I don't think that's a bad thing though. I am so much more aware of what I owe, and where, and how much interest I'm being charged for different things. I never used to think about it much.

So, for today, I've managed to scrimp a little extra and pay off £300 towards my CC debt. This has now paid off a dinner & wine tasting for my Mum's Birthday from July 2017 (another one where I was guilty of paying for EVERYONE and acting all generous - stupid!) and theatre tickets from seeing Chicago in New York, June 2017. Sadly, I was a bit disappointed with the show so I am very glad to have that one cleared. It was causing me pain every time I looked at it!

I've popped my pocket money over to my M0nz0. I think September has potential to be an expensive month - there's a wedding, two birthdays, a family camping trip and a social night out. I will need to watch the budget very carefully. I think I've considered everything and put the money aside for all of these activities. I'm planning to make myself the designated driver for the month so I can save on travel and alcohol!

SavingAFuture · 4 September 2018 at 8:43AM

I am nervous about doing this but I have decided to take money out of my wedding savings to pay my car insurance IN FULL for I think the first time ever. I will then pay this back to myself at £30 per month in place of the direct debit I used to pay to an insurance company. This way I won't be charged the extra for monthly payments and I will have paid back almost all of it before the wedding. As I said, this does make me nervous as I'll have to keep very focused to pay it back to myself and not just spend the difference, but I do feel that my self-control is so much better than it used to be and it's a good plan.
It will save me around £70 over the course of the year so definitely worthwhile.

This feels like progress.

Fixing Today for a Brighter Tomorrow!

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