Everyone knowing why i was off

gomer wrote: »

Blimey. Talk about off topic. How on earth did rape come into this??









I have a feeling I might wish I didn't ask.

Ah apologies, it is a very sensitive topic for some.


It was basically pointing out that I could picture the same conversation that Sangie posted happening but replacing the phrase "shared my confidential information" with the R word.


Basically, there existing a possibility that a genuine victim of X is ignored completely and marginalised because nobody wants to deal with it.


The only real issue would be whether or not there's a possibility that OP has mis-read the situation completely, and the information was leaked from another source. But if OP is right then they shouldn't be made to feel marginalised.


EDIT: Of course, in terms of "employment rights" there may not exist many even if the above is true. So, one aspect of Sangie's post I agree with is the question of what outcome OP would like.

I hope it wasn't flatulence.

Les79 wrote: »

Ah apologies, it is a very sensitive topic for some

Rape...a sensitive subject...for some.:eek:

Id imagine its quite sensitive for the 179,000 reported rapes this year alone...id hazard a guess the victims might describe it as slightly more than sensitive and im sure each and everyone of them would shake your hand and thank you for your heart felt apology.

Les79 wrote: »

Ah apologies, it is a very sensitive topic for some.


It was basically pointing out that I could picture the same conversation that Sangie posted happening but replacing the phrase "shared my confidential information" with the R word.


Basically, there existing a possibility that a genuine victim of X is ignored completely and marginalised because nobody wants to deal with it.


The only real issue would be whether or not there's a possibility that OP has mis-read the situation completely, and the information was leaked from another source. But if OP is right then they shouldn't be made to feel marginalised.


EDIT: Of course, in terms of "employment rights" there may not exist many even if the above is true. So, one aspect of Sangie's post I agree with is the question of what outcome OP would like.

Thanks for the explanation but I'm really not sure it was a very appropriate analogy in any context. Seriously !!!!!! dude??

sangie595 wrote: »

That went somewhere I didn't anticipate. To be clear - I was not talking about rape or a serious sexual assault and I have no idea where that came from.

It just struck me as reminiscent of what some women in the past have said in regards to rape/sexual assaults. Notably, famous people and the recent #MeToo stuff..


Direct boss denies it, their boss supports your boss and then you end up getting penalised and marginalised for the whole thing.


It is always a sensitive topic "rape", but your example did strike a chord with me in regards to the similarities.

I can't win today- I'm slagged off for telling someone that if they withdraw a grievance about an alleged sexual assault then it won't be dealt with by the employer, and then criticised again for some comparison to rape that I never made. I seriously don't know why I bother posting at all.

1. I had nothing to do with the first incident.


2. I think you asked some useful questions to OP. Your example, whilst having some truth element to it, struck a chord with me and I think it is quite heavy because, in another scenario, it would be inappropriate to treat someone like that.


Take the comments on the chin! And rejoice in the fact that someone has probably reported me for using the "R" word on the forum and I'll be facing either a 2 week ban or a PPR

My point was that if the OP thinks that the matter is serious and they have evidence to support escalating it, then that's what they need to do. But if they escalate it the need too be clear that there can be unintended results from making allegations based on no evidence. Up too them whether it's that important or not. If the manager Godspeed about a dose of the runs, I'd be annoyed but leave it. If it were more important to me, I possibly wouldn't.

True true.


I suppose my point was more about how I feel that your example (which I admit is likely something you'd encounter in employment) marginalises people. I wasn't having a go at YOU per se, but people who employ that sort of mindset.


If no evidence exists then fair enough, but the only difference between a rape charge and a "my employer told people confidential information" is merely the people who take on your case. The police in a rape situation will build up a (hopefully unbiased) case whereas the employer, as you rightly suggest, can be a bit biased. Horribly unfair in the grand scheme of things.


I'm going to look into Unions over the next week or so, because I do find this sort of thing a tad disappointing and wonder why more isn't done to help people like OP. Notably, why is it that OP ends up on the short end of the stick and has little recourse?