Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Torry_Quine · 28 February 2018 at 12:49PM

calleyw wrote: »

Torry,

That is a long time. Thats nice you did so much together. But couples do need to have their own friends and interests out side of the relationship. As it can be such a shock when you are left on your own

I spent 4 years on my own so not too much of an issue for me. Its like when AM goes away for the weekend. This will sound strange but I do and don't miss him at the same time.

I see you found a thread on the forum I was going to suggest Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it.

I hope you don't think I am stalking you. I was going to suggest it last night. But only thought to search for it this morning for you.And saw you have already joined.It will take time to adjust to being on your own. Hard when you are use to another body in the bed. Or someone to talk to at any time of the night or day.Take it slow, Be kind to yourself at all times. This might sound a strange. But would a body pillow or a big teddy bear help to sleep with. As it fills the bed. Not the same as a person. But gives you something to snuggle up to at night.

Hope it all goes well at the GP.

Take Care

yours

Calley X

I don't think you're stalking me, just trying to help which is very sweet of you.

Neither of us found it easy to make friends and combined with my health meant we were together mostly other than his work.

Saw GP and will continue with the sleeping tablets every second night. Back in a fortnight.

Very snowy and cold here today.

calleyw · 28 February 2018 at 1:13PM

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I don't think you're stalking me, just trying to help which is very sweet of you.

Just one of my little anxieties :rotfl:

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Neither of us found it easy to make friends and combined with my health meant we were together mostly other than his work.

Saw GP and will continue with the sleeping tablets every second night. Back in a fortnight.

Very snowy and cold here today.

As you get older its harder to make friends. Helps if you have hobbies. My ex husband lost friends after having a stroke. Was sad as these had been friends that he had for 20 years.

People are strange. I think they think all you are going to do is talk about your ill health. If you are at home all the time you are thirsty for contact. I spend a lot of time at home alone. And love to hear about other peoples lives no matter how mundane :rotfl:

take care

yours

Calley x

jobbingmusician · 3 March 2018 at 12:01PM

Torry, I don't know whether you will find this useful. I thought there were a couple of good ideas xxxx

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-43227108/why-grief-is-not-something-you-have-to-get-over

My poor BIL - his mother has just died. He's been trying to come over from France for a couple of days to be with her, but there have been no flights because of the weather, so he didn't make it in time. She did say that she didn't want people to put themselves at risk to see her (she knew she didn't have long). I still feel very sorry for him as it is SOOOO stressful trying to get home for stuff like this. I think he's flying tomorrow.

(Not your fault, WaS!) xxx

calleyw · 3 March 2018 at 2:44PM

Afternoon my lovelies,

Hugs and handshakes and squishes all round.

I hope everyone is safe and warm. The snow is leaving us now.

Had a blip with the boiler but I managed to fix it. Did call someone out. But that was thursday evening and not heard a peep. Up to there neck in broken boilers I can only assume.

Tired again and no idea why. Might go for a nap in a while. Went around to my ex husbands to see him as not seen him for a few days because of the snow. But I made sure he was ok by keep phoning. His delightful bird did a poo on my leg. Arghhh only put these jeans on this morning :rotfl: Good job me and AM went around as while there his telly stopped working. It needed someone to change sockets. A but of a faff and more so for him.

If you still have snow stay warm and dry.

Everyone take care

Yours

Calley X

Waves_and_Smiles · 7 March 2018 at 4:59PM

Hi all!

Hope everyone is well, hugs and warm handshakes to those who need them. Special hugs for Torry, I am thinking of you, my friend.

I am gradually coming off the extra dose of anti-psychotics and I am grumpy! I also have terrible restless legs at night as a withdrawal symptom. I don't think there is any psychosis so far which is good but a lot of physical symptoms. I should be back down to my usual dose in 10 days time when hopefully I can get back into the old routine.

Other than that I haven't done much due to having to keep this knee elevated. It is getting better but very slowly. I am rather bored!

Torry_Quine · 7 March 2018 at 7:41PM

Sleep is not good, at most I get a couple of hours wake up, watch tv then sleep for a couple of hours so get about five hours in total. Only slightly more with a sleeping pill. I feel like I'm in a permanent daze.

Waves_and_Smiles · 7 March 2018 at 10:15PM

You are in shock Torry, it takes a long time for that to go away in grief and it can disappear and reappear. You have had a massive life change that has shaken you to the core, sometimes our bodies just need to switch off from that for a while and go on autopilot just to get through. Everything you are experiencing is typical of grief even if it seems odd or even mad, it takes time.

Are you managing to eat and drink a little? (((Torry)))

Torry_Quine · 7 March 2018 at 10:31PM

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

You are in shock Torry, it takes a long time for that to go away in grief and it can disappear and reappear. You have had a massive life change that has shaken you to the core, sometimes our bodies just need to switch off from that for a while and go on autopilot just to get through. Everything you are experiencing is typical of grief even if it seems odd or even mad, it takes time.

Are you managing to eat and drink a little? (((Torry)))

I am although it's an effort. Made a ham sandwich for my supper and now drinking some hot ribena.

I'm getting annoyed at people who although caring just don't get me. If I go out then I'm told that im coping but I'm going through the motions and sob my heart out as soon as I get in the door. I do the minimum needed and even showering is an effort that seems pointless. The cat gets fed though.

Hope it goes well reducing your medication.

System · 8 March 2018 at 1:09AM

Dies anyone else experience health anxiety?
[penguin-mentions death]
I;ve had bad back pain for the past 2 years and i currently have a cough and i;ve convinced myself its lung cancer and i'm going to die. I'm too scared to see my GP. 17 years ago my grandad went to the doctors with the same symptoms and within 2 weeks he had a lung cancer diagnosis and died.

I'm so scared. Its ironic considering for more than half my life i actually wanted to die, but now i have Swain and we have a future and im scared im not going to be here. Its the same thing which led to me putting off my smear test for 5 years-the fear that there was something wrong and i was going to die. I'm really scared i'm dying and i dont know how to explain that to anyone. i don;t know what to do

sorry if this is triggering for anyone
[/penguin]

Torry_Quine · 8 March 2018 at 1:25AM

Messed up. The chances are it's not what you fear but there's only one way to find out. Could someone go with you? Please try and get help.

Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

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