Online Dating Tips - official discussion thread

catoutthebag · 3 February 2015 at 9:21PM

I've had over half a dozen dates recently. I could have had at least another dozen but I was simply not intersted.

I would also say it takes more than one meet to often get a spark. People get nervous.

If you like them be a bit flirty. Create thst physical/sexual chemistry. .a passing touch that kind of thing. Or she'll quickly slot you in the friend zone.

roteiro · 16 February 2015 at 9:17AM

Hi there! Thanks for the article here, very cool indeed. What is your favourite dating website, guys? Mine is Kovla. I really like it, it is very useful, comprehensive and effective one

Brie50 · 18 February 2015 at 5:35PM

I haven't had much luck with any of them, you need to be quite resilient and not take some of the comments personally! I'd be keen to know other thoughts!

vodkachick68 · 18 February 2015 at 10:16PM

Well I have have had no luck at all with pof,seems to be same old men on there either only after one thing or posting profiles years out of date!!!! I am gonna try zoosk as have heard a few positive reports,and I think that if people are prepared to pay then they are more serious about finding someone if that makes sense.

bathgatebuyer · 25 February 2015 at 1:19AM

No words of wisdom, other than some rotten experiences of dating!

Match.com - didn't make love happen, gave me my money back after a year
e Harmony - failed the entrance test and they rejected me for their site

And I went on a blind date recently with a friends relative. Went reasonably ok, if not awkward because I don't think either of us wanted to be there. Anyway, by the following day, the entire family had deleted and blocked me on all social media. They hadn't even spoken to me, so presumably he didn't have anything good to say! Although the date was awkward and uncomfortable, there was no stand out 'Oh god' moments or anything so who knows what went on. Whatever, it was a massive dent to the self-esteem!

Oh well, onwards and upwards!!! (alone.........with my cat........and the early signs of a hoarding compulsion........)

benjus · 25 February 2015 at 5:12PM

I tried pof briefly - exchanged a few messages with someone who seemed quite interesting, but I wasn't sure about it and we never got as far as meeting.

The one that worked for me was Guardian Soulmates. If you're a well-educated, liberal type it's a great site for finding like-minded people. I also got the impression that most people on there were looking for a serious relationship.

sonya1008 · 28 February 2015 at 4:11PM

My friend met her husband on mymagicbrides.com After one months chatting he arrived to Kyiv and henceforth they are together)

purpleshoes_2 · 28 February 2015 at 9:57PM

catoutthebag wrote: »

Oh and many women are not proactive. ...just sitting back for men to come along and chase. Don't get me wrong. .had quite a few women message me but it's not the norm. We live in the 21st century yeah.

Also dating is skewed in females favour as they are outnumbered by males. So you're average girl gets a self inflated image of herself as she is bombarded with dozens of messages a day mainly on thr cheap free (often chavvy) sites. So she ignores the guys who are probably too good for her anyway and waits for mr perfect to come along - little does she know thst mr perfect doesn't exist. So she ends up being cold, single, lonely. Bless her and her naivety.

What does being cold got to do with being single or lonely?

I certainly didnt get dozens of messages on dating sites. I did however get lots of messages from people who were clearly desperate to date anyone. That's before you get to people who are totally unhinged.

Im about as low maintenance as you'll get and Im certainly not looking for mr perfect, but my experience of being 40 plus and on a dating site was of men being far too full on too quickly, certainly not me sitting looking for perfection.

I recently met someone who was going to ask me out but met someone else first. Very recently lost his wife, dated someone else who was a complete car crash. On Valentines spent much of it distressed as he lost his wife on Valentines a year ago. Not ready to be dating and knows it.

The point is, you can meet lots of people in this world who need to sort their own stuff out but are lonely and want to be with someone. Its not the case that all women sit and go, look at me, Ive had 500 messages today, aren't I the mutts nuts. I don't need validation from any dating site. I would have been happy with meeting someone for a drink. Instead I got the too full ons, the psychos and the people who just weren't in a place to date.

Its a myth that its easy to be on a dating site if you are female, that's not been my experience at all.

System · 1 March 2015 at 12:07AM

Well i'd all but give up on it, but got a message the other day on POF from a rather attractive guy, and we've been talking pretty much constantly since, and we have a date next week. So i guess my tip is don;t give up because sometimes things come out of the blue and surprise you.

purpleshoes_2 · 1 March 2015 at 6:46PM

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Well i'd all but give up on it, but got a message the other day on POF from a rather attractive guy, and we've been talking pretty much constantly since, and we have a date next week. So i guess my tip is don;t give up because sometimes things come out of the blue and surprise you.

I think I gave up a long time ago:rotfl:

Its seriously not easy to be 40 something and single, well it is in the respect that that's my life and I'm absolutely ok with it.

Dating is harder.

Online Dating Tips - official discussion thread

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