I want to stop drowning

smallholdingsister · 28 July 2016 at 8:49AM

I was thinking dovetail your work with his so you work when he doesn't.

elsien · 28 July 2016 at 9:11AM

debtaghh wrote: »

our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary..

This seems to me to be the one you need to address, otherwise you're just fiddling around the edges of the debt.
So are you able to identify to yourself the reasons - to cheer yourself up, because you don't want the kids to miss out, because you find it hard to tell people you can't afford it?
Once you know the motivators, you can start to do something about it - smaller, cheaper, regular treats for example. Or a cheaper caravan holiday rather than a hotel.
Can you work out from your bank statements how much you've spent on these areas in the last 12 months - if it's more than you think that might help you to focus on cutting it back a bit.

Try the OS board for your food budget ideas.
Surveys - populus pay cash and although less regular the surveys can be up to £4 each.

ETA - is your husband fully on board with the need to cut back? So when you're looking at the bigger spends is he saying we can't afford it or is he going along with it? Working together you can give checks and balances for each other.

debtaghh · 28 July 2016 at 9:52AM

elsien wrote: »

This seems to me to be the one you need to address, otherwise you're just fiddling around the edges of the debt.
So are you able to identify to yourself the reasons - to cheer yourself up, because you don't want the kids to miss out, because you find it hard to tell people you can't afford it?
Once you know the motivators, you can start to do something about it - smaller, cheaper, regular treats for example. Or a cheaper caravan holiday rather than a hotel.
Can you work out from your bank statements how much you've spent on these areas in the last 12 months - if it's more than you think that might help you to focus on cutting it back a bit.

Try the OS board for your food budget ideas.
Surveys - populus pay cash and although less regular the surveys can be up to £4 each.

ETA - is your husband fully on board with the need to cut back? So when you're looking at the bigger spends is he saying we can't afford it or is he going along with it? Working together you can give checks and balances for each other.

I think you have got it spot on, I do it as I feel down and because I feel like the kids shouldn't miss out which I know is wrong as they would be happy with just playing etc. When I say hotel we are staying at the cheaper hotels £30 per night but know we shouldn't have booked anything at all this year and it's ended up being ridiculous with mini breaks! I know how much we have spent and it's ridiculous as we have booked more expensive breaks ontop of the cheap ones:eek: prob £5k if you include the fuel to get to these places.

I have just signed up to two survey sites and reserved some books from the library, I used to enjoy reading but haven't done it ages so will be good to start back up with that.

My husband is fully on board and it's me the issue. I'm not taking all the blame as he has always relunctatly agreed things and may fritter money on other things in the past e.g expensive camera, car etc plus he had small debt when we met and we had chn very young.

I know we have made mistakes and the aim of this diary is for me not to do it again! I put my soa on here years ago and then deleted it and feel things just got worse but this will change!

I will def look at the OS board again and need to think of cheaper, healtheir dinners. If I could cut my £240 food shop that would be great.

Does anyone know when in August we get our Tesco points? I am due quite a few as I transfer my cashback into points and am thinking I could use these whilst I'm away for restaurant vouchers.

debtaghh · 28 July 2016 at 10:53PM

Had another busy day, time seems to fly! My dad randomly gave me £20 which was kind of him so that was a nice surprise. I did spend some money today as went to some bargain shops that we don't have locally but bought food for the cupboards. I have changed my plans for tomorrow which would have involved spending money so instead we are going to stay at home and watch a DVD and have popcorn and other snacks.

I looked again at what credit cards we would clear if we sold the car and worked out our minimums would be £140 less which would make a difference. I also had a few sales today.

debtaghh · 29 July 2016 at 6:38AM

Plans for today is to : clean bathroom surfaces, put the washing away, check if I have any surveys waiting for me on the two sites I signed up to yesterday, empty the dishwasher, attend cbt appt( feeling anxious about it and have been tempted to cancel it), check accounts and post item. Hopefully then chill with the chn whilst watching a DVD.

We are hopefully showing the garage our car today so fingers crossed they want it. Really wish I could make a pad on the credit cards but then will leave me short, I could put £10 out of the money my dad gave me as that wasn't expected. Not sure how much to budget for food or fuel for 10 days away and aprrox 1000 miles of fuel :cool:

debtaghh · 29 July 2016 at 2:50PM

I have managed to do nearly all my tasks apart from the bathroom surfaces. Cbt was ok and I think I will continue. I decided to make a payment of £15 towards one of my cc as I wasn't expecting that money from my dad. I now realise why I stopped doing surveys!

tori.k · 29 July 2016 at 10:35PM

When my kids were little I found taxi driving worked best when trying to work around a shift pattern. I never got on with doing surveys either spend ages then find I was kicked off. so gave up.
Good luck if you decide to sell the car, we sold one back in May was a total nightmare to do, usually we just trade in but hubby now has a work van so his car just sitting there unused.

debtaghh · 30 July 2016 at 6:22AM

Morning all,

Part of the reason why I have cbt is for anxiety , I don't think I could be a taxi driver as I would worry about being in a car on my own with strangers . If not that would be a great idea, thanks.

I had a savings scheme set up for £10 per month that I only got due to the incentive of getting Amazon vouchers and finally got round to cancelling yesterday. That's a saving of £10 per month plus a £119 refund.

I am having doubts about selling the car and worry that we will end up buying a problematic car. We showed the guy at the garage our car who will let us know Monday exact figures but the most we could clear of debt would be £5k.

Had a couple of small sales yesterday which is better than nothing and resisted a takeaway that I wanted.

Have people over today so staying in but don't think I will have a lot of time to do much money saving things apart from
the fact of not spending any!

Kitten868 · 30 July 2016 at 6:52AM

My point was don't rush to cut back. Just focus on whether you actually spend what you think you spend. Once you've sorted how much you spend you can start cutting back. I appreciate it's a tricky time with all that you have booked.
I found that surveys don't really work for me. I'm still ploughing through for my £40 and £50 payout on two sites but I've given up. Selling all my stuff has been great. Made so much money quickly and easily.
Keep going xxx

debtaghh · 30 July 2016 at 9:29AM

Thanks, I do think you're right and I should start a spending diary as I used to do it and realised I was spending loads on food, I've had to cut back a lot but would still be interesting to see exactly what I spend. I do think our biggest problem is the rent and debt we pay on top of me being naughty and booking trips etc! But there is nothing I can do about that apart from whilst we are there to cut back. I think I will cash the spending money out that way I can monitor it more as is too easy to just pay with your debit card.

I want to stop drowning

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