Blowing in the Winds of Change

Hello MSEers, :hello:

Thanks for posting, Stepuptothepl8, Dansmam and Sun.A. :T

Stepuptothepl8 - am more than grateful for you "butting in" (as you put it - I'd say you showed objective concern ). Your comment about 100% rang a bell, prompting me to have another look at "the ME ability scales" (for anyone interested, they can be found here: http://www.hfme.org/themeabilityscale.htm ).
Apart from the fact that I refuse to use a wheelchair to increase mobility / occasions when more activity is possible, on the physical scale I'm at around 20%, with cognitive function swinging between 20 - 30%.
It wouldn't take much more effort to cook healthy meals for Dear Relative as am managing to do quite well for m'self, but certainly couldn't take on house-keeping duties. Simply having to interact constantly with another person would also be exhausting.
Add in inevitable recovery time after the long drive North, and it's obvious I cannot be the servant DR thinks he needs.

Dansmam - gosh, thanks for interrupting your cookery to comment! ..Am jealous of your walk with Lurcher Boy; really must put visit to rescue centre at the top of my "To Do" list..
DR let his passport expire ages ago. He could afford to get a new one, and pay for medical support here which would also very much speed up the process - but only really has two priorities for his spending; electronics and fine wine (the latter is tempting him - he enjoys £20 bottles which only cost a fiver each here).

Sun.A - thank you for interrupting your holiday to support me; much appreciated! ..Hope you have a wonderfully relaxing last day on your current trip.
You're right of course, but everyone has their own lives to lead and very few people realise how much effort it takes me just to look after myself. So there is a common tendency for family to feel that as I have fewest obligations, I should step into the breach (having done it many times before).

Yesterday DS3 arrived with naughty Grand-Pup, who had been returned home twice after following his master, but then popped up again just as DS unlocked the van. It was getting late by then, so DS gave in; the little monkey was so pleased with himself! I bodged Little Girl's old harness to more or less fit Pupkin, found CD's lead and we set off for town.
By the time I'd got some cash out of the bank, we had acquired three hung-over hitch-hikers. After popping into a local market where Grand-Pup behaved very well, our passengers were clearly in need of sustenance so we all stopped for lunch at at DS3's favourite bar. DS1 turned up too which was a lovely surprise, although somewhat worrying that he's come home early because he's not feeling well. Our meal was delicious; MSE at £32 for six people, including two rounds of soft drinks - but after a couple of hours' conversation and supervising Grand-Pup [who hasn't yet got the hang of sitting quietly under the table - he's a lead-chewer] I'd had enough.
Still, we pressed on to the German supermarket, where Divo Three found the hitch-hikers a lift onwards to Portugal with some mates of his, and I was delighted to spend just £40 on this months' groceries for both DS3 and self (we made a deal; he paid my bar bill and I bought his list of supermarket stuff).
By then there were black holes in my vision and I was staggering, so DS brought me home. We missed out on calling at the parking yard, paying their bill and collecting camper-van - but at least I've got the cash for that in hand.

Divo Three got called out to take someone to the airport which meant Grand-Pup stayed with me. After gulping down a scratch meal he settled down with a loud, contented sigh.. It felt so right, listening to his little puppy whiffling and breathing while I also had a rest. Think I even slept for a while, until woken by the 'phone: Don Handyman - great, that's another bill paid. Big one though; ouch.

Grand-Pup woke up full of beans; made me laugh aloud with his antics as we wandered around the garden picking dinner.
DS3 returned, joined us and collected a bagful of veg for him and GGF, but then had to carry Grand-Pup away too after the little wretch dodged back into the house three times while they were leaving!
..The sooner I find another canine companion the better. Have no intention of pinching Grand-Pup, but can see it might look that way as he clearly prefers it here - really don't want to fall out with DS & GGF. Think it would help Pup understand better if there wasn't such an obvious 'dog-shaped vacancy' at the Nest either.
Have been keeping an eye on the rescue groups' lists.. There are several 'possibles' I'd like to meet, and talk to their carers because heart and head are battling as to which one would be the best 'fit' with me - choosing three would be easier! But before I can visit any dogs, must retrieve camper-van so there's somewhere to rest and take stock.

Today am most grateful not to have any obligations or visitors expected. Beyond that I cannot think - will just enjoy pottering in the sunshine, listening to birdsong and bees-buzzing.

Maddiemay - thank you for sharing your great news re two of the men in your life; you must be so relieved and happy, about both of them! :j

It turns out I was wrong to worry that DS and GGF thought I might be trying to pinch their Pup.. Yesterday they asked if he could stay at the Nest while they have a weekend off - they've decided to follow our erstwhile hitch-hikers to a free festival in Portugal.

So I have a wriggly, waggy little house-guest.
He woke me half a dozen times during the night, wanting to snuggle up in my bed rather than his - although it's bad for discipline, in the end I let him win.. At home he still sleeps with a hot-water-bottle; they forgot to bring it and I haven't got one, so guess Pup had an excuse.
Maddie is right in likening a pup to a small child; this one certainly has plenty of energy in between nap-times.
I've made him a very successful MSE toy in hope of getting peace to write.. He'd already found the spare new mop-head, so I stuffed the hole [where a handle should screw in] full of treats.. Really stuffed tight. It's kept him happily occupied for about three hours so far; in between chucking it about and chewing the fronds, he's only managed to extract about a third of the treats.
..Thinking about the extortionate prices pet-shops charge for dog toys, I am especially proud of my 50p DIY "octopus"!

Does mean the idea of getting camper-van out this weekend has been abandoned. Too many chances of disaster; Grand-Pup isn't used to travelling, and without a navigator to ensure his safety I couldn't concentrate on the road. Instead we might be able to meet up with another rescue-dog who's in foster locally.
If that excursion happens I'll buy lunch for our driver at a convenient bar, but otherwise am looking forward to NSDs until next week - entertainment will be puppy-walks around the environs of the Nest.

Today am grateful Maddie's DH and brother have overcome their health challenges. Also that DS and GGF trust me to look after their "baby" - and for his "joie de vivre" which makes me laugh!

Hello Sun.A, hope you've got over the post-holiday culture shock by now, and thanks for your comment which made me think; this is the longest I've lived without a four-legged friend since leaving the parental home!

Grand-Pup is providing endless amusement, and he's an absolute doddle to educate compared to the snow-dogs. He now has several more DIY toys; a bottle puzzle, a sproingy snake [really a length of stripy plant-tie fabric], and treat-dispensing roller-balls made out of supplement pots. He's also dragged a blanket and the outdoor seat cushions into CD's old bed to make a comfy nest he can burrow into - last night he stayed put, perhaps also helped by the fact that it got so chilly I lit the stove (he's so thin-skinned and short-haired, he'll definitely need some kind of coat when DS and GGF take him to the UK).

Yesterday we went to meet the local rescue-dog I thought might be a suitable new companion. She is a lot smaller than I was expecting, and sadly is actually a very sick old lady. She did tug at m' heart-strings, but head is saying she would find my travelling lifestyle very stressful, and it would surely be better for her to stay under the care of a vet who understands how to treat Mediterranean illnesses (poor thing is suffering from two of the worst ). One of the drugs she's on was a shock; it will already have cut her expected life-span significantly, and is really only for palliative care (her foster-Mum didn't seem to realise the significance of the vet having prescribed it).
If I were staying put for the next six months I'd take her and pamper her for whatever time she's got left, but to be honest she's not the dog I am looking for.
Next week hopefully I'll find enough energy to visit the other little girl who might be suitable.

Meanwhile Grand-Pup is ticking so many boxes without even trying; he's bright, alert, learning fast and is apparently genetically programmed to protect his yoomans - up and barking at any unexpected noise.
Can be naughty though: The day before DS and GGF left him with me, Grand-Pup followed his best canine chum / bad influence out of the Old House's garden, then a few minutes later DS had to rescue him from a scrap with the neighbour's guard dogs.. Pup has a nick in one ear, two scars on the top of his head and a couple of punctures on his back - hopefully he's learned his lesson (although he obviously enjoys having the wounds tended - don't want an infection creeping in).

Spent £30 on fuel and feeding the friend who took Pup and self out yesterday; we actually had a very pleasant afternoon, despite the upset of finding out the dog we went to see was so ill.

Today have been grateful for a quiet day, for finding a home-made ready meal in the freezer for dinner, and the happy antics of my little visitor.

Been trying to update this for days..

Get what you're saying, Dansmam - it is ruddy unfair on the bright but less well-off, isn't it?

I still haven't been to see any more rescue dogs, Sun.A. It turns out that Grand-Pup will be staying with me again, because his owners arranged their flights before his transport. I was told, not asked. Do love him, every knobbly angle of him, and his limpid brown eyes clearly express his feelings but, oh - training a puppy is a lot of work..

Am feeling very lost; too much is going wrong with the financials and there's nobody to share working out the problems with. When push comes to shove everyone I care about is getting on with their own lives - as they should - but it leaves me very alone. Sometimes wish I was four again and it would all be alright after a good cry and a cuddle from Mum..

Stress is having a terrible affect on both mind and body. The relative who thinks I should look after him has made me his executor - he can't see the joke!

The one good thing to report is that the only money I've spent since last posting was 20€ on fuel - another joke, as it was all used helping someone else to move furniture which meant I didn't even get to join the family Easter feast. That shouldn't have hurt as much as it did, but it's left me feeling that there really is very little left for me in this world - looking at my 'phone book there are now more dead people than alive ones in it.