Throwing out my 19 year old step son!

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  • powerful_Rogue
    powerful_Rogue Posts: 7,516 Forumite
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    Wow, this sounds exactly like a scenario a colleague at work went through about 3 years ago.

    Son was 18 and unbearable to live with, sounds exactly the same as your step son.

    One day they packed his bags and dropped him off at the council offices - They made him homeless. Colleague said this was the hardest thing he's ever had to do in his life. Council gave him emergency accommodation at a bed sit.

    Three years later, he is now back at home a changed person.
  • heuchera
    heuchera Posts: 1,825 Forumite
    He is not OP's son, so OP is under no legal or moral obligation to have him in the house or support him financially in any way whatsoever.

    Does he do drugs in the house? If he does, phone the Police and shop him in. As Guest says, make him want to leave.

    The women who side with their grown-up child when the child is frankly being abusive are part of the problem.
    left the forum due to trolling/other nonsense
    28.3.2016
  • sdoherty1000
    sdoherty1000 Posts: 135 Forumite
    I have issues with her as much as him, she is partly to blame by enabling him into the person he has become. When I raise a concern or try and tell her what I am feeling she sides with him every time.
    The main question really is, when I decide to tell him that I no longer want him here due to his actions can she do anything legally to stop it? Do I have rights as a co-owner to decide I want him gone- surely I have a right to say who can or cannot live in my house??
  • POPPYOSCAR
    POPPYOSCAR Posts: 14,897 Forumite
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    Having just read your previous thread I cannot see the point of this one.


    As you are living in the same house as your wife but not together you are obviously fighting a losing battle.


    Move on with your life.
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 32,726 Forumite
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    POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

    As you are living in the same house as your wife but not together you are obviously fighting a losing battle.
    .

    Might have been helpful for the OP to have mentioned that to start with as I presumed he and his wife would be able to have a sensible conversation.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • heuchera
    heuchera Posts: 1,825 Forumite
    sdoherty1000 wrote: »
    I have issues with her as much as him, she is partly to blame by enabling him into the person he has become. When I raise a concern or try and tell her what I am feeling she sides with him every time.
    The main question really is, when I decide to tell him that I no longer want him here due to his actions can she do anything legally to stop it? Do I have rights as a co-owner to decide I want him gone- surely I have a right to say who can or cannot live in my house??

    You give her an ultimatum - tell her you are no longer prepared to have him in the house, and if she is not happy with you evicting him she is free to go..

    She might see things a bit differently if she realises that siding with the druggy waster could make her effectively homeless.
    left the forum due to trolling/other nonsense
    28.3.2016
  • POPPYOSCAR
    POPPYOSCAR Posts: 14,897 Forumite
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    sdoherty1000 wrote: »
    I have issues with her as much as him, she is partly to blame by enabling him into the person he has become. When I raise a concern or try and tell her what I am feeling she sides with him every time.
    The main question really is, when I decide to tell him that I no longer want him here due to his actions can she do anything legally to stop it? Do I have rights as a co-owner to decide I want him gone- surely I have a right to say who can or cannot live in my house??





    And how will you stop him from living there when his mother tells him to take no notice of you?
  • POPPYOSCAR
    POPPYOSCAR Posts: 14,897 Forumite
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    heuchera wrote: »
    You give her an ultimatum - tell her you are no longer prepared to have him in the house, and if she is not happy with you evicting him she is free to go..

    She might see things a bit differently if she realises that siding with the druggy waster could make her effectively homeless.



    What ultimatum is that then?


    You need to read the other thread.
  • sdoherty1000
    sdoherty1000 Posts: 135 Forumite
    The other thread has no importance on this one, Things are strained at home due to this conversation here! The marriage is almost over by the way he treats everyone/thing and how she responds by enabling him.

    My relationship with the others is unaffected, they are great kids but this one is having an effect on them as much as it is me! He should lead by example.

    I have raised 3 of her children and then for them to turn round and treat me like I no longer, and in my own home is terrible, its depressing and wrong!
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,303 Forumite
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    Bribery - tell him you will buy him a one way ticket to an EU country of his choice (or further if he can sort out any visa he needs).
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
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