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  • FIRST POST
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 8th Apr 19, 7:52 AM
    • 8,074Posts
    • 59,651Thanks
    shaggydoo
    Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16
    • #1
    • 8th Apr 19, 7:52 AM
    Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16 8th Apr 19 at 7:52 AM
    Welcome. Here we are again, time for a new thread, new starts and new challenges.

    Let's take a trip down memory lane and remind ourselves of In Search Of Me's (ISOM) original post in Part 1:

    24th February 2008

    Quote:
    In Search Of Me "There are a few of us who want to give up/cut down & I thought it would be good to widen the net to support each other along the way!
    For me alch & feeling good for the time I'm drinking & then rubbish after go hand in hand. A bit like drinking & smoking & drinking & getting the munchies! Last year I gave up alch & fags for 10 months & then "slipped" towards Christmas until by Jan I was doing both with alarming regularity. I dread to think how much both cost me financially and I know physically that I've felt rubbish. My lungs hurt, have put on weight & literally none of my clothes fit so I will have to buy more - which means a dent in my budget that I can ill afford. My skin is also yukky & much nicer when I dont drink/smoke!
    I had my last ciggies the night before last & last wine on Tues. I know I will feel 100% better when I crack it but also know it will be hard. One disadvantage here is that all too often DFW "parties" tend to involve alcohol so I'm also hoping that this can possibly be a safe haven for those of us who want, or need, to abstain, for now at least!
    Anway - I hope that this can be a place of real support for people who are sturggling. I do wonder whether there is a link between debt & drinking as from the Jan thread it was obvious that so many struggle to give up! Plus I know for me that I feel much hapier and in control when I dont drink (or drink in moderation) - which of course begs the question "why do I do it?"! Anyway, I do but will now try not t ad hope some of you wil join in. Some days I know I wil fail, just as I do with my debt free journey and I am more than happy to be given a swift (but nice!) kicking when I do! Hugs all and dare I say... but this time with water!!
    And here's what she started!!! :


    Part 14 and 15 is Here

    Part 13 is Here

    Part 12 is HERE

    Part 11 is HERE

    Part 10 is HERE

    Part 9 is HERE

    Part 8 is HERE

    Part 7 is HERE

    Part 6 is HERE

    Part 5 is HERE

    Part 4 is HERE

    Part 3 is HERE

    Part 2 is HERE

    and the original starting thread is HERE

    Here is a post from back on thread 1 or 2.

    Springwatch Girl Well, week 5 of no alcohol and I see a different person in the mirror. My eyes no longer look dull and vacant, they actually have a little sparkle and my skin doesn't look like uncooked pastry anymore. I feel that I have won a battle but not yet the war. Hope everyone else is at the point they want to be, I never want to be that person I was, I have been tempted but I just think back to what I had become. The sun is shining at the moment and I feel good and want to continue to have the sun in my life"
    Good Luck Everyone!

    Shaggyx
    Last edited by shaggydoo; 08-04-2019 at 8:03 AM.
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
Page 97
    • loveasale
    • By loveasale 9th Oct 19, 12:37 PM
    • 496 Posts
    • 3,273 Thanks
    loveasale
    Crikey mamam,,, I hope not !!
    I will never be rich but I'm happy
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 9th Oct 19, 2:38 PM
    • 4,106 Posts
    • 17,422 Thanks
    cathybird
    Iíve not spoken to him about it yet , as rather funnily Iím ashamed at having gone through his phone !!
    He is still ok with me , making plans for friends coming to visit -I just canít work it out !
    Originally posted by loveasale

    loveasale, I had a cheating boyfriend, who I caught because he left his emails on display on his computer one day and like you I did the wrong thing and had a look, because I was suspicious. He was a serial cheater and I caught him several times, yet I stuck with him for years, for a number of reasons I think but partly because he always seemed so affectionate when he was with me - he behaved as though we were a totally committed couple and I was the only one, and it lulled me into acceptance even though I knew better. That might be why a lot of women stay with cheating men, because the manner is so deceptive. It ought to be obvious and yet it's hard to get your head around at the time. I hesitate to say all this because there's no evidence your BF falls into that bracket - not all men who have affairs do it repeatedly, some only do it once - and he might be a genuinely good man who can make amends. But the fact that he seems okay with you, and is making "normal" plans with friends, it might or it might not mean anything. I hope things do work out between you though My thought is give him a chance, but only one. xx
    15 in Save 12K: £8,810.98/£12K. ONSDs: 6/10 Tilly: £4,264.00
    October AFDs: 17/21 2019 AFDs: 250/260 2018: 303/260
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 9th Oct 19, 5:05 PM
    • 5,209 Posts
    • 51,363 Thanks
    Barny1979
    7/26 AFDs yesterday
    2013 - 313 AFDs, 2014 - 289 AFDs, 2015 - 321 AFDs, 2016 - 276 AFDs, 2017 - 276 AFDs, 2018 - 240 AFDs 2019 - 209 AFDs up to end of September
    MFW Challenge 2019 - £941.13/£1809
    • arsenalbarnie
    • By arsenalbarnie 9th Oct 19, 5:06 PM
    • 456 Posts
    • 3,147 Thanks
    arsenalbarnie
    Ooh sorry Loveasale canít help you. I think I would chuck him but who is to say what I would actually do. If anything you donít know where she has been if ykwim. All sorts of germs springs to mind. There is a big rise of stdís amongst the middle aged, some of them not easily treated. Sorry thatís my medical past coming to the fore. If they are meeting up when drunk, taking precautions donít seem to spring to mind. Sorry to be so blunt about it, but I think itís worth mentioning.

    Today is not alcohol free but I did go to tubby club and have lost another pound so 2/10 please for the weight loss challenge Shaggy
    Total weight lost 24lbs. Afds Sept 11/15 Oct 10/15
    Weight loss challenge 2/10
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 9th Oct 19, 5:26 PM
    • 5,209 Posts
    • 51,363 Thanks
    Barny1979
    8/26 AFDs today
    2013 - 313 AFDs, 2014 - 289 AFDs, 2015 - 321 AFDs, 2016 - 276 AFDs, 2017 - 276 AFDs, 2018 - 240 AFDs 2019 - 209 AFDs up to end of September
    MFW Challenge 2019 - £941.13/£1809
    • loveasale
    • By loveasale 9th Oct 19, 8:38 PM
    • 496 Posts
    • 3,273 Thanks
    loveasale
    It funny , all the different views and replies I’m getting ,,,,
    I seriously think if I reading this from someone else I would definitely tell the girl to Bin the 2 timing rat !
    Yet here I am and at the moment I’m not sure what I’m going to do,,,,,,?
    When I looked at the phone I also took photos of each message ,,,, it’s not a warm conversation to read , no emotion, and no talk of his or her day , no mention of his on going divorce,,,,,,
    Only ‘are you about , fancy a wine ( code word for sex!) it’s so weird and NOT the man I know ,,,,
    I’m not sleeping with him at the mo ( had some pre cancer work done and on sex ban ) so no risk of STD !
    I think she is a dirty little secret that is boosting his ego in bed , but no more , !
    I don’t really know what I’m trying to say , apart from putting the words on here are really really helping me ,,,,,,,
    Thank you all
    7/20 3SNC
    I will never be rich but I'm happy
    • Wanna Bee Free
    • By Wanna Bee Free 10th Oct 19, 12:28 AM
    • 1,445 Posts
    • 13,118 Thanks
    Wanna Bee Free
    I am terribly hungover on holiday so catching up on here. No days to report. My drinking has been moderate until last night.

    ArsenalBarnie, huge sympathy for your loss. This life stuff isn't easy sometimes.

    Loveasale, so sorry to read about your BF. ArsenalBarnie makes a really good point re health etc.

    I have forgiven what I believe to be a drunken one-off over 20 years ago which he then confessed on arriving home. I found it hard to trust and move beyond a catty nasty stage but over time it happened. On his return from business trips I would ask anything I should know about? All fine years later as far as I know... It helped he told me rather than me finding out.
    October 19th 79.45%through 2019 74 days remaining
    Save 12K in 2019 #12 - £8,000/£12,000 66%
    Cutting Down Alcohol: 69/150 46%
    O2|S5|A7|J3|J5|M10|A13|M10|F6|J8
    2018:86|2017:106|2016:83
    • Arkers
    • By Arkers 10th Oct 19, 7:05 AM
    • 958 Posts
    • 7,333 Thanks
    Arkers
    Good morning everyone,
    8 please Shaggy
    Arkers x
    • arsenalbarnie
    • By arsenalbarnie 10th Oct 19, 7:52 AM
    • 456 Posts
    • 3,147 Thanks
    arsenalbarnie
    Morning all. Tonight will be alcohol free. So 6/15 please. My sleep has been shocking since OH has been away. Have decided to try and abstain until I go away in just over a weeks time. Feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything and feel like becoming a hermit. Hoping this is due to menopause and will pass. So funeral tomorrow, a long long drive away so need to sleep more than my 4 hours a night have been having. Also no caffeine is order of the day and lots of meditating to try to chill me out. Looked at price of going on the train for 4 of us £410 one way No wonder people go by car or fly. Coach was cheaper but me and Dd get very travel sick on them. So DS2 has said he is coming and will share the driving.

    On a positive note the sun is out ready for me to walk the pooches.
    Total weight lost 24lbs. Afds Sept 11/15 Oct 10/15
    Weight loss challenge 2/10
    • sukeyboo
    • By sukeyboo 10th Oct 19, 9:17 AM
    • 1,124 Posts
    • 8,465 Thanks
    sukeyboo
    6/12 for today please Shaggy
    • marahouti
    • By marahouti 10th Oct 19, 10:15 AM
    • 173 Posts
    • 1,315 Thanks
    marahouti
    5/21 and 3/4 SNC please Shaggy. Thank you. X
    Loveasale I have held off commenting on your current dilemma up to now because other posters have said the things I would say. I just want to say that whatever you decide to do, hold your head up and do it on your terms. Thinking of you. X
    • PriceySOS
    • By PriceySOS 10th Oct 19, 11:58 AM
    • 645 Posts
    • 5,214 Thanks
    PriceySOS
    7 please, thanks
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 10th Oct 19, 1:38 PM
    • 4,106 Posts
    • 17,422 Thanks
    cathybird
    Afternoon all, 10/21 for me today.
    15 in Save 12K: £8,810.98/£12K. ONSDs: 6/10 Tilly: £4,264.00
    October AFDs: 17/21 2019 AFDs: 250/260 2018: 303/260
    • maman
    • By maman 10th Oct 19, 1:56 PM
    • 20,694 Posts
    • 122,944 Thanks
    maman
    I donít really know what Iím trying to say , apart from putting the words on here are really really helping me ,,,,,,,
    Thank you all
    Originally posted by loveasale
    I'm glad you posted that as I was afraid I was too free with my opinions (life long trait).

    I fancy a drink tonight but I plan to stay strong. Hope I can manage it.

    6/10 AFDs please Shaggy.
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 10th Oct 19, 4:21 PM
    • 5,209 Posts
    • 51,363 Thanks
    Barny1979
    9/26 AFDs today
    2013 - 313 AFDs, 2014 - 289 AFDs, 2015 - 321 AFDs, 2016 - 276 AFDs, 2017 - 276 AFDs, 2018 - 240 AFDs 2019 - 209 AFDs up to end of September
    MFW Challenge 2019 - £941.13/£1809
    • loveasale
    • By loveasale 10th Oct 19, 5:51 PM
    • 496 Posts
    • 3,273 Thanks
    loveasale
    Sorry I don’t know how to put the quotes in,,,,,
    But yes it does help me , BF has said he’s going out with mates from where he used to work tomorrow,
    I hate to say this but my gut feeling is he is lying ,,, so I am thinking of driving past his house and seeing if he’s at home. ‘ entertaining ‘ ?
    I know this sounds a bit extreme, but I think I need to see this for myself to work it out in my head , and hopefully find out how I really feel about him ,
    Then again it could be a complete waste of my time and petrol ,,,,,, funny I’m not sure what one I’d rather !
    X
    Last edited by loveasale; 10-10-2019 at 8:06 PM.
    I will never be rich but I'm happy
    • loveasale
    • By loveasale 10th Oct 19, 8:09 PM
    • 496 Posts
    • 3,273 Thanks
    loveasale
    I’m so busy talking about my rotten BF that I forgot to put scores down !
    Good thing is so far I’ve not hit the bottle,,,,, if I don’t do drive to his tomorrow I will ,, ( don’t forget we live nearly 2 hours apart ) but then I could get all brave and want to call him and confront him ?!?!
    8/20 4 SNC
    I will never be rich but I'm happy
    • Arkers
    • By Arkers 11th Oct 19, 6:55 AM
    • 958 Posts
    • 7,333 Thanks
    Arkers
    Good morning everyone,
    9 please Shaggy
    Arkers x
    • marahouti
    • By marahouti 11th Oct 19, 7:15 AM
    • 173 Posts
    • 1,315 Thanks
    marahouti
    Good morning everyone. 6/21 and 4/4 SNC please Shaggy. X
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 11th Oct 19, 9:09 AM
    • 4,106 Posts
    • 17,422 Thanks
    cathybird
    Morning all, 11/21 for me today. I am going away on Sunday, for a brief trip, but am going to attempt to get a few AFDs while I am away. It shouldn't be too hard (I hope)

    15 in Save 12K: £8,810.98/£12K. ONSDs: 6/10 Tilly: £4,264.00
    October AFDs: 17/21 2019 AFDs: 250/260 2018: 303/260
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