Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

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  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077
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    Me again.

    A year today was his first chemotherapy, we were so hopeful!

    I was okay for a while when out but have barely stopped crying since I got home. I want to be with him not here in my lonely emptiness

    It's not helped by thinking about my dad's operation on Friday, he has to come back to mine afterwards as it's a day case but he can't be on his own. Trying to vacuum but it's not working and then dropped it on my foot.

    It shouldn't matter but I know my dad will comment on the state of the house.
    I hope your dad's op goes well, Torry.

    Please don't worry about the house......You don't have the energy for housework at the moment, and hopefully you dad will realise that.
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



  • dekaspace
    dekaspace Posts: 5,705
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    A update on me, came back from holiday after that nasty hotel I found a better one for £50 for 4 nights, was actually impressed for most part with it, lovely bed in it, wifi didn't work, but toilet was next room along, shower was a minute away though and had to sit in reception to use laptop and no tv in room but for what I paid was great.


    Last night I had a pre booked months ago last special night in a proper hotel due to my birthday, lovely room only cost £15 inc breakfast, en suite wifi was unusable again though.


    Came back today after a draining day, almost every train was delayed meaning I missed connection, then got off at my station and my bus was 20 minutes late, came home to a nasty debt collector letter for debt I dont owe due to identify fraud, not only that its statute barred phoned the debt collector who were rude with me claiming I have to prove I don't alleged it was a default against me but none shows on any credit file and tells me I have to pay or else.


    And I have to go to friends but hes away for weekend, except thats where my bus pass is! I left it at his before I left so now stuck in house for like a week unless I pay bus fares to town.
  • Not a good day then, Deka!
    I stayed in today - my weekly pass expired yesterday, and I was happy to stay at home for a day and do stuff.
    Rather than paying daily bus fares, a week's pass might work out a lot cheaper.
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,827
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    Pyxis wrote: »
    I hope your dad's op goes well, Torry.

    Please don't worry about the house......You don't have the energy for housework at the moment, and hopefully you dad will realise that.

    Friday was a long day. At the hospital first thing but an emergency meant the operation was delayed until mid after noon. He didn't get home as it would be 9pm before they would let him go but he didn't feel well enough.

    It was physically and emotionally exhausting sitting at a hospital bedside for so long.

    Coming home was extremely tough, too many memories.

    He got out yesterday and came to mine. We had a quiet day.

    This morning I got up and heard the tv and got upset as it was for a moment the thought it was my husband!
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077
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    This morning I got up and heard the tv and got upset as it was for a moment the thought it was my husband!

    oh gosh! :( Poor you!

    Yes, that brief moment when you think it was all a mistake and he is here after all! followed immediately by remembering it is your dad, and the wave of sadness that follows that. :(:(:(

    (((((((((Torry)))))))))))




    It would seem that if your dad felt well enough to put the TV on, then he must be getting better rapidly.

    Is he still with you? Did you like the company?
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,827
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    Pyxis wrote: »
    oh gosh! :( Poor you!

    Yes, that brief moment when you think it was all a mistake and he is here after all! followed immediately by remembering it is your dad, and the wave of sadness that follows that. :(:(:(

    (((((((((Torry)))))))))))




    It would seem that if your dad felt well enough to put the TV on, then he must be getting better rapidly.

    Is he still with you? Did you like the company?

    He's back home now. In a way it was nice to have him here but I couldn't relax completely. Although the lonelines is overwhelming no one can really make it better and I still cried at night.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • calleyw
    calleyw Posts: 9,822
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    Morning my Lovelies,


    Hugs and squishes and handshakes all around.


    Not sure why today I feel really needy. I just need to talk to someone. I know I should not but thinking about going back to bed as I want to cry.



    I am still at a loss on how to make an income for myself. I have been doing surveys and stuff and getting between £100-£150 a month. Its hard work, long and very mind numbing for little return. But I really need more income. And the though of going back to work makes me freeze and feel really ill.



    Thought about working for myself. But I have no skills and no idea what to do. it could be I am lazy but mainly think its because I lack confidence and no idea where to start!!!!


    Found out last night why AM says he loves me before he turns over to go to sleep, when he leaves for work in the morning and at the end of every phone call. I just thought he was being soppy and loved up. Its a bit morbid really. In case its the last words we ever utter.


    Any how everyone enjoy the weather and keep hydrated


    Yours


    Calley X
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
  • dekaspace
    dekaspace Posts: 5,705
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    I am a little stressed on the job front, was offered a excellent job interview but last minute when I was on holiday and the return train fare would of been £50 and taken at least 5 hours so not the best for relaxing before a interview.


    Have a interview later today that seems eager but I applied for part time work and they are pushy about having full time hours as well as a start tomorrow so only basically a 15 hour time if I get it from interview to start. Job is fine but full time with a next day start will be too much for me even my job coach has said don't go for it but that stresses me more as now don't know what to do.
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,827
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    calleyw wrote: »
    Morning my Lovelies,


    Hugs and squishes and handshakes all around.


    Not sure why today I feel really needy. I just need to talk to someone. I know I should not but thinking about going back to bed as I want to cry.



    I am still at a loss on how to make an income for myself. I have been doing surveys and stuff and getting between £100-£150 a month. Its hard work, long and very mind numbing for little return. But I really need more income. And the though of going back to work makes me freeze and feel really ill.



    Thought about working for myself. But I have no skills and no idea what to do. it could be I am lazy but mainly think its because I lack confidence and no idea where to start!!!!


    Found out last night why AM says he loves me before he turns over to go to sleep, when he leaves for work in the morning and at the end of every phone call. I just thought he was being soppy and loved up. Its a bit morbid really. In case its the last words we ever utter.


    Any how everyone enjoy the weather and keep hydrated


    Yours


    Calley X

    Sorry to hear that.

    Totally agree with the sentiment of saying I love you, we always did. X
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • calleyw
    calleyw Posts: 9,822
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post I've been Money Tipped!
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    Thanks Torry,


    How goes your day?


    Well the icing on the cake today. Remember the on off thing I had with someone who called me mental and treated badly. Guess what after just over two year of no contact, he has texted me.


    It has really upset me. But after talking to a couple of people. We think he is fishing and might have got dumped and thinks he can come running back to me!!!!


    Yeah in his dreams. He wont be getting a reply


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
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