Non Molestation order question
Comments
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If you've been accused of domestic abuse, which isn't black and white, and if the children have been placed on the at risk register, you may also need to be careful That your refusal to attend the meeting could be seen as controlling/ manipulative.
There has been some indication that you can attend the meeting, so I think that's a point you should be taking into account, and ask the social worker to provide the evidence you can attend, as explained by comms69.
I wouldn't just say your " not attending"
I don't see the harm In attending the meeting if the children don't mind.0 -
Thank you. I have a recording app on my phone so it will be recorded to protect myself. I have made it clear to the social worker on a previous occasion my phone records all calls so she cant complain in fact I think I even mentioned it to her manager too.If you do that by phone, think about recording the conservation and/or following it up in writing, stating your reasons for refusing to attend the meeting.
With a manipulative ex, be aware that she could try to use your refusal to attend in person against you.
Regarding not attending,,,,,,,
I took advice from this thread and contacted the courts for clarification. They advised me I would be breaching my agreement with the courts but also advised me to get some independent legal advice.
It was an expense I didnt want and can not really afford but did it anyway but Im glad I did as they said it was a big no no and I would be asking for trouble.
I told the Social worker the situation, surprisingly she was both Ok with it and actually said she understood my position.
The conference call suggestion was made and accepted but then guess what??
The Ex did not even show due to 'a migraine'
So all this stress hassle and expense on my part was for nothing.
Typical of her really but at least now when the meeting is rescheduled everyone knows I wont attend in person AND it wont be an issue or problem of any kind.0 -
OP
An order was granted presumably under part 45 of the families act. You successfully defended this, so well done. An undertaking is a civil promise, not a criminal offence.
You cannot be arrested for breaching it. Your wife would have to go back to court and convince a judge that it is contempt of court.
I would suggest you write a letter to the school, the social worker, the police which outlines your concerns.
Seperately you need to contact CMS for maintenance.
Thank you for this.
I was in touch with the CMS after seeing your post and they have now got the ball rolling.
The sad thing is the Ex is lying about her income. She claims she is only earning £120 per week take home, this is an out and out lie. She even managed to get a fake wage slip to back up her lie so unless I unleash the inland revenue on her I wont be getting anything like what she should be paying and in fact what the kids really need.
This whole episode has opened my eyes. I knew her for over 20 years but never really knew her at all.0 -
Yes I am having some difficulty working with the social worker but I had no idea I may be able to get legal help with it. Thank you very much I will be looking into that first thing Monday.athensgeorgia wrote: »If you feel you are having difficulties working with the social worker have you sought legal advice regarding this aspect?
From what you have said, as you aren't working and possibly receiving benefits, you would be entitled to advice regarding social services involvement through the Legal Help scheme. I know it doesn't help regarding the ins and outs of the Non-Mol proceedings but questions regarding this social work meeting can be answered through the Legal Help/children issue side of it.
Thank you again, youre a star...0 -
What is the specific wording of the undertaking you gave?
It's not a good idea to do anything in breach of it, as technically that is a contempt of court.
It is unusual to involve children directly in any meeting, normally a social worker would speak to them, perhaps at home or in a neutral place such as school.
I recommend that you speak to a solicitor and get some proper advice. If you can, find a solicitor who deals with both public and private children law, as they will be familiar with Social Services' powers and processes.
You can also tell the social worker that as your undertaking to the court prevents you from sitting down with your ex, you will be happy to meet with her if she is prepared to cooperate to take a joint application to the court for you to be released from the undertaking. Please be aware that because the undertaking is given to the court, it is the court, not your ex, who has the power to release you from it.
Also, social workers are not legally trained or qualified - never assume that they are correct when telling you about it!
Have you been given copied of minutes from any previous meetings with social services? If not, ask for these, review them for factual accuracy and respond in writing if they have made any factual errors (for instance, stating your wife's allegations as facts rather than stating that these are her allegations) Again, arranging for a solicitor to attend with you may help you.
Thank you. I got the legal advice and was advised not to attend. I have no minutes of any meeting that I can recall so I will be asking the social worker to provide them asap.
Thank you for your help.0 -
If you've been accused of domestic abuse, which isn't black and white, and if the children have been placed on the at risk register, you may also need to be careful That your refusal to attend the meeting could be seen as controlling/ manipulative.
There has been some indication that you can attend the meeting, so I think that's a point you should be taking into account, and ask the social worker to provide the evidence you can attend, as explained by comms69.
I wouldn't just say your " not attending"
I don't see the harm In attending the meeting if the children don't mind.
Thanks for your post.
The reason I cant attend is because i made an undertaking to the court I would not see the Ex in person. Only speak on the phone, text and email and then only if it relates to the kids .
I dont recall saying i would just say 'i'm not attending' . I gave the social worker the reason I could not attend. I believe she then spoke their the SS legal adviser to clarification and then accepted I could not attend.
Thanks again for you post.0 -
If you feel your social worker is biased towards your wife, could you ask to be allocated a different social worker ?
Also do you have car insurance or contents insurance? Check your policy details. Some of them have a legal facilities which provide free consultations.0 -
Single_Dad wrote: »Thank you for this.
I was in touch with the CMS after seeing your post and they have now got the ball rolling.
The sad thing is the Ex is lying about her income. She claims she is only earning £120 per week take home, this is an out and out lie. She even managed to get a fake wage slip to back up her lie so unless I unleash the inland revenue on her I wont be getting anything like what she should be paying and in fact what the kids really need.
This whole episode has opened my eyes. I knew her for over 20 years but never really knew her at all.
They should base it upon her p60, which she cant fake.
Unless she's self-employed and just dodging tax in general that is.
Even at £120 per week she will owe you something0 -
Sorry for the delay in replying. As i was not 100% sure what the working situation was i thought it best to find out for certain before replying.
She is self employed. I understand its a recent development but yeah, she has gone self employed so I'm guessing it is going to be more difficult proving exactly how much she earns.0 -
I have spoke to the SW manager, explained my problems with her but apparently she is leaving in November anyway so I think for now Im going to not rock the boat nd just wait for the new social worker. See how that pans out.0
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