Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@. Skimlinks & other affiliated links are turned on

    • w00519772
    • By w00519772 7th Jun 19, 5:37 PM
    • 1,280Posts
    • 215Thanks
    Problems with a colleague
    • #1
    • 7th Jun 19, 5:37 PM
    Problems with a colleague 7th Jun 19 at 5:37 PM
    We recruited a new member of staff nine months ago. She is ok at her job.

    I have worked in my current role for 12 years and am now a valued member of staff due to my technical ability. We have had problems with this member of staff because of her attitude. She is rude and disruptive to everyone. I am fed up of the number of complaints I am receiving from colleagues and customers. I am not her line manager.

    I find her difficult to work with and I work the most with her (in comparison to everyone else within the department). In deed many of my colleagues have said that they avoid her altogether (lucky them!). I spoke to my line manager (head of department) about this yesterday in my 121 and he said he will put her on report because he has also had complaints from many colleagues and customers.

    I believe this will happen within the next few weeks. Is there anything I need to do to "prepare" for this, bearing in mind that I work directly with this person. I have never been in this situation before and hence the reason for the question.

    I am a member of a trade union (for many years) if that makes any difference. Should I contact them? I would be very grateful to hear from others who were in my situation at some point.
Page 3
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 20th Sep 19, 11:39 AM
    • 7,588 Posts
    • 9,880 Thanks
    Well, the saga continues. This employee was put on report, however continues to be difficult to work with. Just today, someone came in to speak to me because "she knew she wasn't around".

    Today I was asked by the head of department if things are improving. I tried to be diplomatic and said it has only been a few weeks since the employee was put on report, when I really want to day: "No, things are not improving". I was asked whether or not this employee is productive or not. Again, I wanted to be very critical, but I found myself being quite diplomatic saying give it time.

    I am the only person who can say whether this employee is up to scratch (because I have a very specialised role and am very experienced) and I find myself being very . I have never been in this position before , ever. Do I just let it rip and really vent out my frustrations?

    I would be very grateful to hear from others who were in this position and what you did. These days I worry what mood my colleague will be in rather than the complex work I have to do that day.
    Originally posted by w00519772
    I think the issue is that your responsibility is not 'to be diplomatic' it is to be honest with your boss.

    This doesn't mean venting all of your frustrations, it means giving them a claer, accurate cture of what is happening, with concrete examples where possible.


    "I am still getting a lot of complaints about her, and other members of the team have explicitly tild me they avoid going to her"


    "She has improved slightly - I have not heard her shout at anyone this week, but she is still very abrupt and rude in speaking to others - [example of what she said / did]"

    Your manager can't manage herif they are not bing given accurate information about her.

    I'm also not clear whether you haveever said anything to your coworker yourself, for instacen if she has been rude or short with you, have you ever said anything in the momenet?

    What about when other people complain about her to you? Are you telling them that they need to speak to her manager, or even to speak to her themselves (depending on what they are complaining about)
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 20th Sep 19, 12:03 PM
    • 7,588 Posts
    • 9,880 Thanks
    I continue to have problems with my colleague. I mentioned it in my recent 121 and I was told that the head of department had received other similar reports.

    The head suggested that a mediator is brought in to mediate between my colleague and I. I find this a little bizarre. He said he wants to show the other person the effect her behaviour is having on me. I am a little reluctant to agree to this as I think it would be counter productive; introducing conflict in an already hostile environment. I would be grateful for thoughts.
    Originally posted by w00519772
    I think it would be relevant for you to flag up for your boss that the conflict is not between you and this individual but is also between her and other members of the team / department, andthat you are simply the one that other individuals are complaining to.

    I would suggest that you tell your boss you are happy to mediate butthat as you are not the one earing the brunt of the problems, simply the one who is bringing that information to their attention, that it might be mre productive to involve those whpo are ctually making the original complaints (including you, if that includes you)
    • panika
    • By panika 20th Sep 19, 5:43 PM
    • 138 Posts
    • 139 Thanks
    OP, is there any person ( for example other manager on the same level as head of your dept even from other company or your previous boss) you could discuss your problem with the colleague, just to have other opinion?
    I can see it really gets to you and keeps dragging. Talking to someone completely different 121may help to solve the issue.
    Bear in mind, you mentioned in your earlier posts you want to your colleague to be "managed out". We are talking here about real person with mortgage/rent, bills to pay and maybe having to raise the children/ look after the parents. Do you really want to get this person out of job and having all the troubles associated with it? To be honest I personally wouldn't wish it to anyone...
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

759Posts Today

6,497Users online

Martin's Twitter