Breaking news to partner!!

Ando · 25 May 2009 at 10:34AM

Merlinexcalibur wrote: »

That cut be could. Unless, as I note you don't have anything for internet services, it's an all inclusive package.

Yes internet is inclusive with the phone.

Ando · 25 May 2009 at 10:38AM

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

There's a huge amount of scope to reduce your costs and it'll make you feel like you're making real headway. Getting rid of that second car should be the first step.

Hi, It isn't actually a second car but a van that I use for work. I'm a self employed electrician. So that is out of the question. The car would go first before the van

Ando · 25 May 2009 at 10:42AM

SueP19 wrote: »

Hi Ando, I been exactly where you are right now
There will be tears and anger, but you have to remember that is the shock talking. In the end with me I took the line that with my OH that he had ignored everything and gone gaily along leaving me to cope, even though the signs were there. I asked him is he was not guilty of burying his head in the sand.
I am sure your OH knows things are not good, so be brave and tell her.
On an SOA point do go to the benefits website to make sure you are getting enough benefit, it may be that you are just above the limit but you should get WFTC. If your self employed I am sure your Accountant could help you with this.
Good luck

Hi Sue, Yes I think she is reading the signs to an extent. But trying to blank it out. I'll have a word with my accountant and see what he can do. But he's useless. All he cares about is your tax is pail

Ando · 25 May 2009 at 10:43AM

Changingme wrote: »

I have 2 children and get £132.80 a month for child benefit this is the one you get from birth till 16 get this checked.

Ok I shall look into it cheers!

Ando · 25 May 2009 at 10:47AM

Primula wrote: »

Hello and welcome
I also think you should tell your partner, it will be difficult but you need to do it and then you can both try and sort things out together. I'm guessing you didn't spend all the money on yourself or on gamling or anything like that?
There are quite a lot of savings you could make on your SoA:-
Electricity
Phones
Food
Clothing
Medical? £100 seems high
Haircuts.
But you really need to tell your partner or she will just expect to carry on living as before.
Also, on the salary you are on, my opinion is that two cars is a luxury you cannot really afford and going by your petrol costs, you dont seem to use them all that much? So you could save a fair bit by getting rid of one of the cars.
Anyway, just a few wee suggestions. Good luck. I'm going to subscribe and will be back to see how you get on. Do keep us updated!
P

Electricity and gas is with southern energy and gas. Anybody manage to get a cheaper deal than them?

Medical bills is 2 dental checkups each for me and OH, so being optimistic there is no treatment involved.

Car is recreational use and not work. I haven't included any expenses for my business as they are minimal. Van, tools etc

Primula · 25 May 2009 at 1:04PM

Ando wrote: »

Electricity and gas is with southern energy and gas. Anybody manage to get a cheaper deal than them?

Medical bills is 2 dental checkups each for me and OH, so being optimistic there is no treatment involved.

Car is recreational use and not work. I haven't included any expenses for my business as they are minimal. Van, tools etc

Check out the utilities board re gas and electric. Your electric does seem high though, maybe look at your usage - change to low energy bulbs, turn things off rather than leave on standby, stop using tumble drier etc etc.

£100 is far too much for just 2 dental check-ups.

Also, if you have to buy things for your work from your salary, then you need to include this in your SoA.

First things first though, tell your partner so you can sort it out together, you need her on your side to cut back spending too on things like groceries, electric etc. Good luck. If you really want to do this, you will get loads of help, advice and encouragement on here, and believe me, it becomes very addictive!

Barneysmom · 25 May 2009 at 1:10PM

A battle like this is easier to fight together. Don't let it get to the point where she finds out before you tell her.

All the best to you both.

jennyo · 25 May 2009 at 1:23PM

Barneysmom wrote: »

A battle like this is easier to fight together. Don't let it get to the point where she finds out before you tell her.

All the best to you both.

Very sound advice

vuittondreamer · 25 May 2009 at 3:33PM

Ando,
I was found out this week, my OH discovered my Debt by opening a letter by mistake.
It's better you break it to her than find out like my OH.
It's okay everything is working out, and are cracking this together. He still cannot believe i hid this from him for 5 years, but i did, and i am the fool.
Be brave mate, it will work out. They will be tears and sadness, but i bet when you sit down and try to tell her how you ended up in this situation, she'll help you.

laura2481 · 25 May 2009 at 3:57PM

Ando wrote: »

Okay here it is. Cripes that was hard and painfull

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 2
Number of cars owned.................... 2

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1500
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 100
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1600

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 326 Is this interest only? If not you could consider asking your mortgage company to swap it to interest only for a short period eg 6 months so you could make a dent on the cards.
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 90
Electricity............................. 90 This seems very high!!
Gas..................................... 40
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 12
Telephone (land line)................... 30
Mobile phone............................ 35
TV Licence.............................. 10
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 42 Possibly a cheaper package could be had for TV/phone/internet? I pay £36 pm for all three, your total bill is £72. Unfortunately this may mean sacrificing some of the 'expensive' channels leike setanta sports/sky sports or similar. If you cut it out for a few months it could really help...
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 380 This could be trimmed alittle, but you will need to get your wife on board...
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 40
Road tax................................ 13
Car Insurance........................... 40
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 20
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 100
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 50 This seems quite high too, I'm guessing you have more than one pet... still worth looking around for a cheaper deal
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 17
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 40 :eek: per month?? That's £480 a year! This can be cut down- I'm afraid expensive salons will be out for a while..
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1445

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 78000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 3000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 81000

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 52000....(326)......1.95
Total secured & HP debts...... 52000.....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
egg...........................13200.....200.......0
MBNA...........................8200......160.......34.9
barclaycard....................4200......100.......0
loan...........................3000......224.......0
overdraft......................2000......20........0
marbles........................2500......60........0
Total unsecured debts..........33100.....764.......-
With this level of unsecured debt you could consider a debt management plan with a non-profit organisation such as the CCCS. (these are the one's who don't charge you for helping sort things out) but I don't know how it works if you are self-employed. If they can't officially help you they can probably give you advice on how to approach your creditors yourself and organise reduced payments for a while.

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,600
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,445
Available for debt repayments........... 155
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 764
Amount short for making debt repayments. -609

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 81,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -52,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -33,100
Net Assets.............................. -4,100

Hi, left a few ideas in red!

It may seem a bit daunting but if you can sit down with your wife and be open about the problems, but also have an idea of how you are going to tackle the problems then it will probably look a lot better- and look like you are trying to get sorted rather than just dumping the problem on her. You can't do it alone though- imagine trying to cut back and watch the budget and your wife goes out and spends a lot on groceries just because she thinks everything is ok? You also need the emotional support...

When I finally started tackeling my debts last year I sat down and went through all my debts with my (longterm!) boyfriend as I was having to borrow money from him to cover large bank charges I couldn't afford. He was shocked as I had managed to keep it quiet for 8 years how much I was overspending, but as I came to him with a plan of how i was going to pay him back ( and other debts) it wasn't as bad as I expected.

Good Luck

Breaking news to partner!!

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