Renovations and Repayments.

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  • heartbreak_star
    heartbreak_star Posts: 8,286 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker Rampant Recycler
    I'm really enjoying reading your posts Alex. I think it's only natural that you'll have up days and down days - after a bit of bullying at work I was feeling rather negative myself - but at the end of the day life plods on and we all do our best. Sorry to hear about your brother-in-law being a pain though!

    Take care of you and yours :)

    HBS x
    "I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

    "It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."

    #Bremainer
  • AlexLK
    AlexLK Posts: 6,125 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    heartbreak_star wrote: »
    I'm really enjoying reading your posts Alex. I think it's only natural that you'll have up days and down days - after a bit of bullying at work I was feeling rather negative myself - but at the end of the day life plods on and we all do our best. Sorry to hear about your brother-in-law being a pain though!

    Take care of you and yours :)

    HBS x

    Sorry to hear about the bullying. Some people just do not seem to be able to grow beyond petty insults.

    I am starting to think you're right about everyone doing their best. I don't think any of us deliberately set out to do badly in life, though sometimes we just aren't equipped to cope at that particular time or things happen which lead us down the wrong path. Saw an old schoolfriend today. He's had a lot of problems mainly related to using cocaine: only after losing his wife, family and being on the verge of losing his career and home has he decided enough is enough. I don't think he ever set out for such troubles to be a part of his life. Mind, if whilst we've been on the subject of BMWs recently, he has a new 430d which costs c.£400 per month but is really struggling to pay his mortgage. I only found out the car was a contract lease after telling him to sell it and get a bit more financially secure. Yes, I've learnt something from this place. ;)

    Mrs K isn't in a good place after yesterday. My wife is usually a really good sleeper but was up at 1.30am last night. Managed to get her back to sleep with one of the youtube meditations ... they do seem to work. :)

    Somehow I've managed to become the sane, rational one with the advice to give. :eek: Now that really is a scary thought.
    2018 totals:
    Savings £11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments £5,500
  • kelpie35
    kelpie35 Posts: 1,781 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    Somehow I've managed to become the sane, rational one with the advice to give. Now that really is a scary thought.

    You talk yourself down Alex, you have so much to offer people. You are such a kind, caring and honest person.

    Hope your wife feels better today, at least she has the love of you and her son.

    Take care
  • gallygirl
    gallygirl Posts: 17,228 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Mortgage-free Glee!
    edited 20 March 2017 at 7:53PM
    AlexLK wrote: »
    Somehow I've managed to become the sane, rational one with the advice to give. :eek: Now that really is a scary thought.
    :rotfl::eek::T. Sorry Mrs LK is suffering. A little bit of 'us against the world' may actually pull you all closer as a team and I'm sure she appreciates you telling him to butt out (though no doubt said much more eloquently :rotfl:).

    BTW, the ospreys are returning :) and it was the 21st last year that Maya came back. Just looked on webcam and nest is empty - but I see they have 'tied' the nest together. Hmmm, not sure I agree with that.......
    Save
    Save
    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
    :) Mortgage Balance = £0 :)
    "Do what others won't early in life so you can do what others can't later in life"
  • newgirly
    newgirly Posts: 8,939 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic First Post
    Stop trying to get me to buy cars Alex, mortgage first, cars second (usually) :rotfl:

    Heartbreak star I hope things improve at work for you :)
    2022 MFW 67 - 33 month challenge to clear mortgage, month 17 completed and and extra 2 knocked off 🙂MFI3 No.12
  • AlexLK
    AlexLK Posts: 6,125 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    March Targets:

    OSPREYS - CHECK. Son will be devastated if I keep forgeting, they come back and he misses following them until I remember. :)
    Total Grocery Spend: £210/>£450. Don't seem to be able to spend my money ... What is wrong with me? :p
    Surplus Money: £750/£750. Transferred to savings. :) I'll have to make a new signature as we have saved money in 2017. Wife did really well in January and February which gave us a good start. We're not overpaying anything this month (MFW, so should be. Yes, yes I know :o) as we want to finally get the house completed and make it a family home rather than seeing as something to sell. My son loves it here, I suppose it's a bit more child friendly and less intimidating.
    Going to bed at a reasonable time: 17/31. Going to bed after this.
    Meditation: 18/31.
    One new recipe per week: 3/4.
    Read three books: 0/3. Have read tonight but not enough to finish the book. It's a dense text book about keeping marine aquariums and I'm finding it a bit hard going. Wife finished a book this evening.
    3 Things for Tuesday: 1. Be on time, 2. Find three things to smile about, 3. Get up in time to play some duets with my son before school.

    3 Things for Monday: 1. Go food shopping Done. :), 2. Find three things to smile about, 1. Had an hour to relax, 2. Seen an old schoolfriend, 3. I seem to have become the sane, rational one giving advice. Yes, me. :eek: :D :rotfl: 3. Do the negative thoughts meditation again Done. Seemed to have personally succeeded in being a useful being today. :)
    kelpie35 wrote: »
    Somehow I've managed to become the sane, rational one with the advice to give. Now that really is a scary thought.

    You talk yourself down Alex, you have so much to offer people. You are such a kind, caring and honest person.

    Hope your wife feels better today, at least she has the love of you and her son.

    Take care

    Thank you. :) I am trying to be a better person in recent years.

    My wife is really struggling. She told me today that she thinks she did some of the things she did because she couldn't deal with other things that were happening. After our son went to bed, she spent an hour getting very upset. Seems it's my turn to look after her. We have counselling tomorrow and have talked about individually having counselling after we have stopped the couples counselling.
    gallygirl wrote: »
    :rotfl::eek::T. Sorry Mrs LK is suffering. A little bit of 'us against the world' may actually pull you all closer as a team and I'm sure she appreciates you telling him to butt out (though no doubt said much more eloquently :rotfl:).

    BTW, the ospreys are returning :) and it was the 21st last year that Maya came back. Just looked on webcam and nest is empty - but I see they have 'tied' the nest together. Hmmm, not sure I agree with that.......
    Save
    Save

    Tonight she told me she wants to be more involved with our family life (she is certainly trying to be) but is concerned that puts her in the "pathetic little wifey" category. I said I want nothing more than for us to be a team and her continued efforts only make me see her in a more positive light. Found myself saying the three of us are the most important people in our world. No, not my parents. ;) My wife did appreciate how I handled things with my brother-in-law. I find him intolerable at times and I'm sure he's not as perfect as he tries to present himself to the rest of the world.

    Osprey reminder made. ;) Seeing some things I need to do and targets to be reached everyday on here seems to be helping me to do the right thing a little more often... can't get away from it and seems to make me accountable. :rotfl: Hopefully that will transfer to actually PAYING DOWN THE MORTGAGE... :o
    newgirly wrote: »
    Stop trying to get me to buy cars Alex, mortgage first, cars second (usually) :rotfl:

    Heartbreak star I hope things improve at work for you :)

    :rotfl: I gave someone that piece of advice today.
    2018 totals:
    Savings £11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments £5,500
  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
    AlexLK wrote: »
    I said I want nothing more than for us to be a team and her continued efforts only make me see her in a more positive light. Found myself saying the three of us are the most important people in our world. No, not my parents. ;) My wife did appreciate how I handled things with my brother-in-law.

    Can I just say... :T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

    Also, just to add...:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

    Lastly...:D:D:D:D:D

    Really pleased to read the above, especially the bolded. I'm so impressed with the way you've adjusted your way of thinking recently and delighted that you seem to be so much happier.

    (I promise I don't normally communicate in little smiley animations, but they seemed the most appropriate for this post!)
  • cazmanian_minx
    cazmanian_minx Posts: 4,048 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Debt-free and Proud!
    Alex, remember a while ago when you found it really, really difficult to stop brooding over and beating yourself up about things you felt you'd done wrong in the past? I suspect Mrs K is either going through or about to go through exactly the same thing, and I think your experience of it is going to be a way that you can be a huge help and support to her.

    Really glad to see how things are improving for you :)
  • AlexLK
    AlexLK Posts: 6,125 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    Red-Squirrel wrote: »
    Can I just say... :T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

    Also, just to add...:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

    Lastly...:D:D:D:D:D

    Really pleased to read the above, especially the bolded. I'm so impressed with the way you've adjusted your way of thinking recently and delighted that you seem to be so much happier.

    (I promise I don't normally communicate in little smiley animations, but they seemed the most appropriate for this post!)

    Thanks, Red Squirrel. :)

    I am trying to think in a better way but don't always manage it.
    cazmanian_minx wrote: »
    Alex, remember a while ago when you found it really, really difficult to stop brooding over and beating yourself up about things you felt you'd done wrong in the past? I suspect Mrs K is either going through or about to go through exactly the same thing, and I think your experience of it is going to be a way that you can be a huge help and support to her.

    Really glad to see how things are improving for you :)

    I think you're right, Caz. I still don't like my past but am starting to see, it is the past and there's nothing I can do about it other than learn from the mistakes and not repeat them in the future. I wish things could be better for us, to be honest. Over the last ten years my wife and I haven't had the easiest of lives. I know my problems with mental health have caused a lot of the issues both financially and in our marriage. It's awful watching her struggle with regret, something she can't now change. I suppose I can see some of the things she's put up with over the years.
    2018 totals:
    Savings £11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments £5,500
  • -taff
    -taff Posts: 14,495 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic First Post
    Glad to hear you sounding a lot chirpier these days.
    Shampoo? No thanks, I'll have real poo...
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