The impossible dream

Halloween and the last day of the month. So, starting November with a mortgage of £73,100.

Will revisit the spreadsheet I created following Stripey's suggestion. Not too far off track to where I was a couple of months ago, so should be able to get back into the swing of things.

Would help if I could stop the frivolous spending though!

Hi Stripey. Thanks for the support on the mortgage payments. Made my monthly payment and currently at £72,100. Will hopefully make another small payment this month to round it down to £72k, which I think is a good figure to go into Christmas with. No chance of any big payments in as its Christmas an money gets spent in different directions in December, so not trying to con myself into believing I will make another payment this month.

Anyway, I still have a small payment to make to finish paying for my Winter holiday, then I have to pay for the Kitty hotel, So, there are other things calling on my income, so happy to be making some payments if not extra payments.

I do agree that a general dissatisfaction does lead to extra spending. And the level of my spend tells me I need medical help. But what is really sad is that I convince myself on a regular basis that I can control it. Like someone with an addiction tells themselves they can give up tomorrow if they want to. I am not sure and maybe I need that reality check. I am not unhappy with anything else in my life. Quite the contrary. But so much of your life is spent at work, it is easy for it to effect your well being. Nevertheless, I am spending big style and need to re-engage with my budget and my self control. I have not updated YNAB for 2 months now, so that gives an indication of where I am in my head.

I wish having a frivolous spend amount would help, but I feel I would overspend on that as well. I am inclined to think that I will get through Christmas without trying to rein in my expenditure and then re-look in the New Year, whilst still paying what is necessary. After all, it's only 6 weeks!

Hi Tahlullah

Thank goodness you've started shopping for xmas :rotfl: just followed you here from Savings thread

I'm not sure what to say on the job but i hope you're happy with however things go. I think i'm the same as you in feelings if I was in this situation.

Sorry, but your description about your spending made me laugh. But then i am spending small amounts to get lots of things - something i need to address but how? Worked out why i've been buying new (to me) clothes and then realised there is a bigger underlying issue. I thought i was buying the clothes to hide my shape at the moment and to feel good in something new. Then with this knowledge bought more. It was only when trying things on that i said; 'it's nice but it won't do for meeting family' and there it is - still on the lookout for something i can wear

I'm still looking for a new job & regretting dragging myself in through illness. I am very ready for the Christmas break, I will post should anything change.

Tahlullah.H wrote: »

It has been a long month so far. What have I achieved?

Nothing else spectacular happening. Should hear shortly if I still have a job. Not too concerned as I feel I would be better off out of this role than remaining. I have enough to keep me for a month with no income, and I will go to an Agency to find work in the interim. Watch this space.

Good luck with the job situation some times a solution works it self out without you actually knowing it. Perhaps this job isn't the right one even if it extends and a new one will pop up that's perfect. I do hope so for you. Agency sounds like a plan and you never know what things will lead to once you are inside the door.

Great news on the dehumidifier just as well you checked whatever you get should be a bonus.

As for spending at Christmas cannot really be helped unless you agree to know present aka Martin Lewis. Not sure I could do that but I don't actually have many to buy for,

Its the end of November, so time for a round up of major spending and what I have achieved. I always feel I am merely playing the game when I read what others achieve in a month, compared to what I manage to scratch the surface at. Anyway, here goes.

Paid for the car service. Done without having to borrow. Love the car but feel it has to go. Stupidly expensive. Not particularly to run, but how much it is depreciating because of the number of miles I have to cover per year. So may have to trade it in, take the hit financially and buy a cheaper car. Will look at this in January.

Bought presents for some of the family. Quite a few to go, but at least I am on the right road. Part of the problem is trying to think of what they would like. Never sure what to get people who already have everything. I just think that I will get them something they don't want or need, and they end up like me, on this forum under a user name I don't recognise, talking about how to declutter items in their home that are taking up space!

Monday afternoon I will either have a job or not. I expect not, so am prepared for it. Was lucky enough to meet my boss's boss's boss the other day and so told her what i thought of what was happening to me. (And to others. I refuse to believe in an organisation this size, I am the only one this is happening to. This behaviour is clearly cultural.) The joys of having nothing to lose!! Nothing will come of it. I wouldn't expect it as management will not undermine their staff in that way, but it was good to get it out there, how staff are treated and where, from my perspective, the organisation is going wrong.

Took my team out for a Christmas meal and as a goodbye. Was fun.

What i haven't done is job hunt or truly start to restrict my spending. I believe this will naturally happen in January. It is amazing how having no income can concentrate the mind. I must get a job at an Agency first as this will be necessary for my references. Any new employer will want to know who the last employer was and will seek a reference from them. It will be the agency , so won't have to give the current employer as a reference. Can get on with my life from this point onwards.

Mortgage at 30 November 2019 - £71,900. Would like to start 2020 owing £70,000 but I know I will not be able to manage this, so anything below £71,000 will be an achievement.