£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

Cherryfudge · 10 May 2017 at 12:18AM

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

Demotivator tool sounds terrifying! I should probably try it

Don't try it just before bed in case you dream you signed a contract to buy a cappuccino every day and it was charging you compound interest...

armchairexpert · 10 May 2017 at 1:34AM

Cherryfudge wrote: »

Here you go

Don't try it just before bed in case you dream you signed a contract to buy a cappuccino every day and it was charging you compound interest...

Haha this is exactly what would happen for me. I dreamt the other day that my house was co-op owned and everyone else voted that each member had to put in $4200 a month to raise money for repairs. I was sobbing about how that was more than I earned and what could I possibly do, and they were terribly unsympathetic.

TOPM you don't sound at all as if you're making excuses! Knowledge is power, and there's absolutely no benefit to flagellating yourself over past purchases in the name of accountability. The expenses were jointly incurred, and it sounds like you're working as a team to get the debts down, and all of that is great. It's a fascinating exercise and well worth doing.

Treadingonplaymobil · 10 May 2017 at 8:35AM

Week 13: Day 4

Hoping for a fairly quiet day today. It won't quite be a NSD as there is a PTA cake sale after school, but I'm hoping that will be the only spend. Also hoping to get some decluttering done, but depends on how amenable DC3 is feeling!

Have realised that since DC2 has started beavers we haven't upped the budget to cover subs, which means there is a shortfall, and also forgot to budget for DC1's cub camp, which is tiresome - £80 in total to find from thin air before the end of the month. I don't actually think I can do that, will probably have to steal some from my business account salary cushion, which is very tiresome. I feel like our budget is hanging on by the skin of its teeth this month - I can't see how we're going to get to the end of the month anything like on budget, as we are already short in several pots. :mad:

to do today:
1. send follow up emails from work last week.
2. check that DH has phoned to swap the day of the DC's swimming lessons (this means we will be able to walk there and save the couple of quid on parking each week).
3. catch up with social media.
4. two laundry loads onto the line
5. make bread
6. 10,000 steps.
7. achieve a store cupboard dinner again.

to do this week:
1. lose another 0.5kg. Weight loss is going sloooowwwwwly, but at least in the right direction. Has taken me over a week to lose 0.7kg. 0.3kg down
2. make A Plan re debt overpayment priorities - we were turned down for the 0% we applied for, so going to wait another month or two before applying again, and close any unused credit cards and accounts (I have two totally unused credit cards, I think DH may have one too) and hopefully we’ll be a more attractive prospect in a couple of months. I think we need to reprioritise debt overpayments as I had been working on the basis we’d get another 0% card fairly easily. We have a plan now.
3. enjoy being a little less busy after a few manic weeks, clean the house a bit, spend some time with the children. Went for a lovely lunch out on Sun (paid for by another company as a work perk for DH, so completely free!) which was just fab, so nice to all spend some time together. First time DH and I have spent a whole day together with the children in a good 6-8 weeks. And nice family park trip yesterday. That's probably our lot for the week though

XSpender · 10 May 2017 at 9:57AM

Honeysucklelou2 wrote: »

Food shopping is where my budget falls down too, so I do sympathise. I haven't tried them myself because Avacadoes aren't something we eat but I did notice frozen avocado halves in Tesco this week...may be worth a try?

I can vouch for the frozen avocados been great in smoothies which is the only time I eat them.

Your explanation of how your debt accumulated was a very interesting read and hit home with me. We too don't have a lot of expensive gadgets or designer duds but we did buy a big house last year, spent £1500 on curtains for 2 rooms, £500 on art, £500 on lights and £3000 for a kitchen makeover. We have always had holidays but a week in a caravan or a week all inclusive in Europe not 3 weeks in Florida or an African safari. Even 8 years ago when we were in an IVA we had a holiday even if it was with family and struggling to scrape enough euros for petrol to make it back to the ferry! We don't buy many clothes but we buy good brands.

I get annoyed when I think of all the things we could do with the £750 spare I would have if we didn't have to pay off the debt we have accumulated :mad:

Treadingonplaymobil · 10 May 2017 at 7:49PM

Feeling very poor and cross about it this afternoon. So much money juggling was required today to pay for children expenses. I need to have a proper look at our SOA at the end of this month, as we're just not meeting our outgoings at the moment. I might need to (sob) extend our DFD in the interests of making things balance in the shorter term. Also had to buy present for another birthday that I'd forgotten about. I had to carve some money off my business account salary cushion, as it just wasn't going to happen otherwise. Still have three months bare minimum in hand, but was inching my way towards a fourth month and that's fallen down now. However, did confirm a little more work for the end of the month, and another couple of hundred quid's worth for next month.

DH and I are also feeling really guilty about how little time and attention the DC are getting -I've been bringing in so much more money over the past 6 months, but the flip side is that I am working pretty much every evening and 3 out of 4 weekends, which means there are never ever two parents on hand for actually spending time with the children rather than just getting through the grind and routine of the day. Not being able to just do a lazy cafe supper or ease up on the workload, or being able to afford kids clubs without 20 minutes of maths and juggling of pots of money is just wearing a little thin.

Better news - DH had a meeting about a pay rise today. No definite answers, but they were positive and said they'll get back to him within a month with a decision. He's asked for about 7k more, hopefully they'll at least meet in the middle somewhere.

to do today:
1. send follow up emails from work last week. Done.
2. check that DH has phoned to swap the day of the DC's swimming lessons (this means we will be able to walk there and save the couple of quid on parking each week). Done, but we need to decide which combination of days/times to go for.
3. catch up with social media. Not done, no time. What happened to my quiet week?
4. two laundry loads onto the line. Done. I can at least be trusted to get laundry done.
5. make bread. In the oven as I type, smelling yum.
6. 10,000 steps. Nowhere near. Lazybones.
7. achieve a store cupboard dinner again. Done - tinned mackerel puttanesca. Maybe the oily fish will help my brain and I'll start managing my time better :rotfl:

to do this week:
1. lose another 0.5kg. Weight loss is going sloooowwwwwly, but at least in the right direction. Has taken me over a week to lose 0.7kg. 0.3kg down
2. make A Plan re debt overpayment priorities - we were turned down for the 0% we applied for, so going to wait another month or two before applying again, and close any unused credit cards and accounts (I have two totally unused credit cards, I think DH may have one too) and hopefully we’ll be a more attractive prospect in a couple of months. I think we need to reprioritise debt overpayments as I had been working on the basis we’d get another 0% card fairly easily. We have a plan now.
3. enjoy being a little less busy after a few manic weeks, clean the house a bit, spend some time with the children. Went for a lovely lunch out on Sun (paid for by another company as a work perk for DH, so completely free!) which was just fab, so nice to all spend some time together. First time DH and I have spent a whole day together with the children in a good 6-8 weeks. And nice family park trip yesterday. That's probably our lot for the week though

Cherryfudge · 10 May 2017 at 9:57PM

I'm sorry it's been a miserable day. You really are going onwards and downwards, it's just that sometimes the direct route goes up a bit... but you are on the way and you will get there.

Meanwhile, a nice (dodgy?!) MSE hug from me :grouphug:.

armchairexpert · 11 May 2017 at 2:04AM

Do you need to work towards that fourth month's cushion? I know it's frustrating to have to re-jig things, but it seems to me that if you've been bringing in so much more work, you could look instead at increasing your business's contribution to the household budget instead of pushing the cushion out further and further. Are you ever likely to have 4 straight months of no business income? I wouldn't have thought so, unless your business is extremely seasonal.

I was also thinking yesterday about your revelation re: the debt not creeping up because of bad consumer choices, and our previous conversation about how, when we start budgeting, we discover that we just don't have the 'fat' in the budget that we thought we would.

Because of course those two things make sense together, don't they? Of course the debt crept up if, as it turns out, your budget is a lot leaner than you thought it was. Doesn't mean you were running down the High Street tossing hundred pound notes over your shoulder as you went: it means that you thought you had a bit of discretionary money to play with and you don't. I think it's actually super rare that someone builds up significant debt just from buying extravagant consumer goods. Absent a gambling or other addiction, it's almost always just as simple as, you earn less than you need to for what seems like a basic middle class lifestyle.

In your case, though, you do seem to have the ability to take on more work, so it'll come down to, do you want to cut back further or keep working these evenings? It's not an easy set of choices (I do the same equation almost daily) but at least the choice exists.

Treadingonplaymobil · 11 May 2017 at 7:53AM

armchairexpert wrote: »

Do you need to work towards that fourth month's cushion? I know it's frustrating to have to re-jig things, but it seems to me that if you've been bringing in so much more work, you could look instead at increasing your business's contribution to the household budget instead of pushing the cushion out further and further. Are you ever likely to have 4 straight months of no business income? I wouldn't have thought so, unless your business is extremely seasonal.

I was also thinking yesterday about your revelation re: the debt not creeping up because of bad consumer choices, and our previous conversation about how, when we start budgeting, we discover that we just don't have the 'fat' in the budget that we thought we would.

Because of course those two things make sense together, don't they? Of course the debt crept up if, as it turns out, your budget is a lot leaner than you thought it was. Doesn't mean you were running down the High Street tossing hundred pound notes over your shoulder as you went: it means that you thought you had a bit of discretionary money to play with and you don't. I think it's actually super rare that someone builds up significant debt just from buying extravagant consumer goods. Absent a gambling or other addiction, it's almost always just as simple as, you earn less than you need to for what seems like a basic middle class lifestyle.

In your case, though, you do seem to have the ability to take on more work, so it'll come down to, do you want to cut back further or keep working these evenings? It's not an easy set of choices (I do the same equation almost daily) but at least the choice exists.

Wise words!

I've never had four months income free, but I frequently have two full months over the summer without any income at all, and December is usually very quiet, so really three months income is expected to cover those known quiet periods (which may not be as extreme now my business is busier, but I don't want to take anything for granted), and four months would mean we had a genuine month in hand in case of illness or similar.

keithmac · 11 May 2017 at 7:56AM

I cleared 25k+ of personal debt over 5 years while still looking after the family, it was very hard work but you've just got to knuckle down and get it done unfortunately.

I had a 5 year plan from the outset and kept a weekly tally of all my payments out and balances, it was motivating seeing all the balances decrease weekly and that's partly what kept me plugging away at it!.

You mentioned 7 years on your earlier post and to be honest if you can clear 60+k in 7 years than that's very good going!, personally I'd be looking at a 10 year plan for that.

Just keep at it!, when you get down to the last £1000 is an amazing feeling.

Holiday wise we went camping, the kids loved it and I don't think they missed out on any life experiences due to me tightening my belt so to speak.

At least you realise you have to make some hard choices and seem to be turning the corner, good luck!.

Treadingonplaymobil · 11 May 2017 at 8:05AM

Week 13: Day 5

Still feeling a bit bleurgh today about the financial choices and path that lie ahead of us, all because of the financial choices and path that lies behind us. I know it's stupid to look at our income simplistically and say 'we work hard, we should have more money spare' but to be honest that's what I'm doing. We do work really really hard, and there is just so little money left over for fun. We never spend time as a family, DH and I are both working like trojans, we frequently comment in passing that we're lucky we have a good relationship as I'm sure some couldn't survive the complete absence of any time together as a couple for as long as we have/will. We literally don't sit down and have a cup of tea together most days.

I know I will snap out of this mood soon, but at the minute it's making me feel alternately

:mad:

:mad:

to do today:
1. 10,000 steps - the exercise is needed and the fresh air might improve my grump!
2. second top up shop of the week (we haven't done a big shop this week, trying to use up the cupboards). Hoping for <£20 again.
3. clear the ironing mountain.
4. finish the first wrist warmer of the pair I am knitting for a friend's birthday.
5. get DH to submit meter readings, check into online accounts for utilities and check everything is as it should be.
6. try to tidy and declutter at least one room - I always feel worse when the house is cluttered, and the busier we are the more cluttered it gets.

to do this week:
1. lose another 0.5kg. Weight loss is going sloooowwwwwly, but at least in the right direction. Has taken me over a week to lose 0.7kg. 0.3kg down on Tue, only 0.1kg down on Thu!
2. make A Plan re debt overpayment priorities - we were turned down for the 0% we applied for, so going to wait another month or two before applying again, and close any unused credit cards and accounts (I have two totally unused credit cards, I think DH may have one too) and hopefully we’ll be a more attractive prospect in a couple of months. I think we need to reprioritise debt overpayments as I had been working on the basis we’d get another 0% card fairly easily. We have a plan now.
3. enjoy being a little less busy after a few manic weeks, clean the house a bit, spend some time with the children. Went for a lovely lunch out on Sun (paid for by another company as a work perk for DH, so completely free!) which was just fab, so nice to all spend some time together. First time DH and I have spent a whole day together with the children in a good 6-8 weeks. And nice family park trip yesterday. That's probably our lot for the week though

£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

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