Rehomed a cat - partner wants to get rid of him

2

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  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,321 Forumite
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    donnac2558 wrote: »
    Your boyfriend sounds a very selfish individual!



    This cat is still young and is play fighting. The hand biting just move your hands away and say no, do not shout. The same with the game of jumping out at your feet and legs. Check out Jackson Galaxy online he is a cat behaviourist.



    The fact your boyfriend is whining about the litter tray is a dead giveaway he never ever really wanted a cat. Oh, the smell, so when he goes to the toilet no doubt it smells like roses.


    Dump the selfish prat and keep the cat. He is using emotional blackmail, in other words, trying to control you by saying he will stay later at work. So what next will he demand to control you if you get rid of the cat?
    What utter drivel. If he never wanted the cat, why did he agree to it if he's trying to "control" her? It sounds more like the opposite if he agreed to something he never really wanted! But now he can't feel safe and relaxed in his own home.

    But as he did agree, so it's now up to both of them to work on a solution.
  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,321 Forumite
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    Becky19 wrote: »
    Thank you for your replies, that's exactly what I've said to him - that he's just being playful and isn't actually trying to hurt us.

    We've both had cats before but not together. He had one as a child but he claims she was a "nice" cat and never went for him. Both of my previous cats would bite or scratch me on occasion but I never took it personally so I don't really see this as an issue right now.

    Our house is very small so I'm wondering if when we can start letting him out he might be a bit happier and less energetic at home?
    Quite possibly. Whenever we've moved house with cats they were always stir crazy when cooped up in the house all day, we generally just kept them in the house for a day or 2 at most then let them out. They adapted remarkably quickly to new surroundings.
  • Kim_kim
    Kim_kim Posts: 3,726 Forumite
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    Get the cat litter that looks like white (or white with a few blue) bath crystals - the smell from the tray will be vastly reduced.
  • Gavin83
    Gavin83 Posts: 8,748 Forumite
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    heatherw_01 wrote: »
    2 weeks is not remotely long enough, the poor thing will need time to adapt.

    Will it be 'fairer' to get rid of the cat in 6 months instead when he still doesn't like it?
  • Owain_Moneysaver
    Owain_Moneysaver Posts: 11,357 Forumite
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    Gavin83 wrote: »
    Will it be 'fairer' to get rid of the cat in 6 months instead when he still doesn't like it?

    No, but the boyfriend might have left by then anyway.
    A kind word lasts a minute, a skelped erse is sair for a day.
  • worried_jim
    worried_jim Posts: 11,631 Forumite
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    Get rid of the cat and get a dog. Proper pets for proper people.
  • Leothecat
    Leothecat Posts: 1,492 Forumite
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    The poor cat. You took on the responsibility and now you just want to dump it! This really gets my goat.......why get the cat in the first place?
  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,321 Forumite
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    Owain_Moneysaver wrote: »
    No, but the boyfriend might have left by then anyway.
    And the OP might have given up on human relationships and be living in squalor with 20 cats!

    Or maybe she'll find a way of not throwing away her relationship over a mere fractious cat.
  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,321 Forumite
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    worried_jim wrote: »
    Get rid of the cat and get a dog. Proper pets for proper people.
    No get a tiger. Don't worry if it bites your leg off, it's only playing ;)
  • Fen1
    Fen1 Posts: 1,577 Forumite
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    I am a volunteer with a rescue.

    1. The swiping at feet and legs is play aggression. It means that your cat is bored and is "hunting" anything that moves.

    2. You need to play with your cat a LOT more in the proper fashion. Never use r hands or feet for play: that is just teaching the cat that you are "prey".

    3. Proper, directed play will mean the cat can "hunt" toys, not you.

    4. Please watch Jackson Galaxy. He has loads of advice on how to play with your cat properly. He also deals with specifics, like play aggression.

    5. Do not let the cat out before 4 weeks. It takes that much time for your cat to consider your house as his territory. He also needs time to get used to you. Your BF is giving off negative vibes: the cat will be picking up on this. Cats aren't stupid.

    6. A litter tray for a minimum of 4 weeks was always going to be the deal. If BF can't cope with basic facts, !!!!!!???

    7. NEVER use a water spray. It is traumatic to the cat. Cats are best trained through kindness, not aversion. Descending to using water sprays means that you are failing to understand why the cat is doing what it is doing: you are the problem, not the cat.

    8. Watch Jackson Galaxy. Read his website. Have I mentioned him before? Well, I'm going to mention him again.

    9. Your cat might be a "tree-dweller". He likes being up off the floor, thus his fondness for being on the counters. If so, make sure he has places high up off the floor that are accessible to him e.g. book shelves around the room. Watch Jackson Galaxy!
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