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  • FIRST POST
    • Becky19
    • By Becky19 7th Jun 19, 4:41 PM
    • 4Posts
    • 1Thanks
    Becky19
    Rehomed a cat - partner wants to get rid of him
    • #1
    • 7th Jun 19, 4:41 PM
    Rehomed a cat - partner wants to get rid of him 7th Jun 19 at 4:41 PM
    Hi everyone,

    Around 2 weeks ago me and my partner adopted a 2 year old cat from the RSPCA. I think he's settled in really well and is a lovely, playful cat. The issue is my partner now wants us to get rid of him. The main reason for this is that he has attacked both of us a few times. I have noticed this seems to be mostly when we walk past him with bare legs and feet, although a couple of times it has been totally unprovoked e.g. he will jump on our lap for some attention and then will start biting us.

    My partner also gets annoyed at him for jumping on the kitchen counters, the smell from the litter trays even though I scoop them as soon as I notice he's been. He is now saying he doesn't feel comfortable in our home and will start staying late at work just so he doesn't have to be here with him. It's causing us so many arguments and I just don't know what to do, I think two weeks is not enough time and he will get better but my partner disagrees.

    Does anybody have any advice on what I can do about this cat behaviour? I have a feliway plug in but I'm unsure if it's had any effect yet.
    I would be so upset about taking him back as I feel like I've bonded with him already but I also don't want to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend.

    Thanks
Page 2
    • Fen1
    • By Fen1 9th Jun 19, 7:29 AM
    • 1,486 Posts
    • 5,657 Thanks
    Fen1
    I am a volunteer with a rescue.

    1. The swiping at feet and legs is play aggression. It means that your cat is bored and is "hunting" anything that moves.

    2. You need to play with your cat a LOT more in the proper fashion. Never use r hands or feet for play: that is just teaching the cat that you are "prey".

    3. Proper, directed play will mean the cat can "hunt" toys, not you.

    4. Please watch Jackson Galaxy. He has loads of advice on how to play with your cat properly. He also deals with specifics, like play aggression.

    5. Do not let the cat out before 4 weeks. It takes that much time for your cat to consider your house as his territory. He also needs time to get used to you. Your BF is giving off negative vibes: the cat will be picking up on this. Cats aren't stupid.

    6. A litter tray for a minimum of 4 weeks was always going to be the deal. If BF can't cope with basic facts, WTF???

    7. NEVER use a water spray. It is traumatic to the cat. Cats are best trained through kindness, not aversion. Descending to using water sprays means that you are failing to understand why the cat is doing what it is doing: you are the problem, not the cat.

    8. Watch Jackson Galaxy. Read his website. Have I mentioned him before? Well, I'm going to mention him again.

    9. Your cat might be a "tree-dweller". He likes being up off the floor, thus his fondness for being on the counters. If so, make sure he has places high up off the floor that are accessible to him e.g. book shelves around the room. Watch Jackson Galaxy!
    • zagfles
    • By zagfles 9th Jun 19, 7:55 AM
    • 14,280 Posts
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    zagfles
    4 weeks???
    We last moved house with 2 cats, and later inherited 3 cats, in all cases they were older cats (around 8-12) we just kept them in for a day or two and they were fine going out after that. They were outdoor cats, it would have been cruel to force them to stay in longer. Maybe that's why this cat is playing up.

    I did a bit of research last time and there is a load of hysterical rubbish on the internet, some were saying you must never let the cats out of the new house after you/they move
    Do what's right for you as well as the cat, you don't just exist for the cat's benefit (not that you'd know it with some of the hysterical stuff you read on the internet!).
    • donnac2558
    • By donnac2558 9th Jun 19, 8:08 AM
    • 2,741 Posts
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    donnac2558
    4 weeks???
    We last moved house with 2 cats, and later inherited 3 cats, in all cases they were older cats (around 8-12) we just kept them in for a day or two and they were fine going out after that. They were outdoor cats, it would have been cruel to force them to stay in longer. Maybe that's why this cat is playing up.

    I did a bit of research last time and there is a load of hysterical rubbish on the internet, some were saying you must never let the cats out of the new house after you/they move
    Do what's right for you as well as the cat, you don't just exist for the cat's benefit (not that you'd know it with some of the hysterical stuff you read on the internet!).
    Originally posted by zagfles



    Well great, it went well for you. But every cat is different.


    The rubbish of you must let your cat out! Many cats are more than happy to stay indoors. Also with the neighbours and your cats crapping in their gardens, that makes you selfish love my cat but I really want it to toilet elsewhere. Also with so many and I do many stories in recent times of cats going missing being found poisoned or used for dog fighting.



    So you want your cat to go out then make sure your garden is fenced and cat-proofed to keep it in your garden. As said watch Jackson Galaxy who is a cat behaviourist.
    • hb2
    • By hb2 9th Jun 19, 9:26 AM
    • 412 Posts
    • 1,411 Thanks
    hb2
    I agree that this young cat is play fighting and needs to have his energies directed elsewhere. If OP and her bf have been used to older, more sedate, cats they might have forgotten just how much energy a younger cat can have. My advice would be 'play, play and more play'. Reward good behaviour and ignore bad.

    I'm assuming that Puss has been neutered, as he came from RSPCA (if not, get it done straight away!) but it can take a while for the levels of male hormone to drop after castration, so there is a good chance that his behaviour will settle further if he was only recently 'done'.

    I also agree with providing raised places for Puss. Not everyone wants to 'cattify' their whole house, but providing a cat-tree or even a shelf would help if he is a 'tree dweller'.

    There are lots of different cat litters around, many of them are deodorised, so keep experimenting until you find something that suits you all. You might also find that different foods affect the output - but cats are notorious for not eating what their guardians want them to!

    As to the bf - I would never respect anyone who gave a 'me or the cat' ultimatum . . .
    • NeilCr
    • By NeilCr 9th Jun 19, 4:30 PM
    • 3,184 Posts
    • 4,756 Thanks
    NeilCr
    When you say Rehomed do you mean that - the cat had been at another home - or that you gave him a home.

    Reason I ask is that I got my current guy when he was estimated to be 4/5. The general opinion was that he had always been a stray so had had no chance to get used to human/cat interaction. He was a bit wild for a while but slowly settled down

    He is much better now but still has "his moments". Underlying that, though, is that although he does do attack stuff on occasions he means no harm at all. It's how he is.

    He is FiV+ so can't go out. I feel sorry for him - although he has adapted well. What he doesn't do well is play. He gets very bored, very quickly so it's not always the answer I am afraid.
    • zagfles
    • By zagfles 9th Jun 19, 5:03 PM
    • 14,280 Posts
    • 12,463 Thanks
    zagfles
    Well great, it went well for you. But every cat is different.


    The rubbish of you must let your cat out! Many cats are more than happy to stay indoors. Also with the neighbours and your cats crapping in their gardens, that makes you selfish love my cat but I really want it to toilet elsewhere.
    Originally posted by donnac2558
    As most of the neighbours have cats anyway it makes no difference. We often get other cats in our garden.
    Also with so many and I do many stories in recent times of cats going missing being found poisoned or used for dog fighting.
    Yeah, it's more risky, but at least the cat gets a life.

    Don't tell me, they can get plenty of stimuation indoors. So can prisoners. But it's still a punishment to be locked up 24 hours a day. At least prisoners get a bit of fresh air in the exercise yard.
    So you want your cat to go out then make sure your garden is fenced and cat-proofed to keep it in your garden. As said watch Jackson Galaxy who is a cat behaviourist.
    I can't take anyone called "Jackson Galaxy" seriously Particularly someone who refers to themselves as their pet's "Daddy"! It comes across as appealing to the delusional who think they are their pet's parent, and want to treat their pet as a faux child.
    • GaleSF63
    • By GaleSF63 11th Jun 19, 5:32 AM
    • 323 Posts
    • 464 Thanks
    GaleSF63
    I found that the wood pellet cat litter is best for reducing smells - by quite a margin.
    • sgun
    • By sgun 11th Jun 19, 4:38 PM
    • 415 Posts
    • 394 Thanks
    sgun
    This is exactly what happened to me and husband three years ago. We adopted a two year old male from the RSPCA and he was behaving in the exact way you have described. After two weeks my husband was all for returning him. I was more prepared for it to take up to 6 months for the cat to settle properly as we had no idea what his life had been like up until then.

    Some of the biting will be play, and some will be from fear. The cat needs more time to get use to his new house and people. Occasionally our Mojo will bite still even now, when he is afraid or unsettled. Feliway diffusers are brilliant and if you can get something like Zylkene with l-tryptophan in, that will also chill out your new pal.

    Mojo settled really after two or three months. Husband perservered and now the bloody cat loves him and just tolerates me!

    The one thing that made a difference to my husband was that I told him if he returned the cat he would never be able to adopt another animal again. If you cant empathise and have patience then you shouldn't have an animal. Husband grew up on a farm so had a bit of a different attitude to cats but he has seen the light now!
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 12th Jun 19, 9:56 AM
    • 6,727 Posts
    • 5,041 Thanks
    sheramber
    You may talking to yourselves as the OP has not logged on since the day she made the post.
    • stripeyfox
    • By stripeyfox 12th Jun 19, 10:02 AM
    • 397 Posts
    • 413 Thanks
    stripeyfox
    If you're persistent enough, the cat will clear off and live with someone else in the end, like mine did!
    • Fire Fox
    • By Fire Fox 14th Jun 19, 3:05 PM
    • 24,851 Posts
    • 28,923 Thanks
    Fire Fox
    Watch a few episodes of My Cat from Hell with Jackson Galaxy. This type of behaviour, causes and solutions feature regularly.
    Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️ Trainee Rosie the Riveter.
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