Money Moral Dilemma: How much should we charge our daughter for living with us?
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When I lived at home with 4 brothers and a sister , we all paid 1/3rd of what we brought home.This is the fairest way for both parties, you are not doing any favours by not taking anything or by saving them a nest egg with the money, this is the real world.!0
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As usual, not enough info to really give advice, (makes you think they aren't real scenarios or they edit out far too much detail).
First off, that isn't a bad salary taking home £1660 a month, I had a mortgage and house on my own on a third less than that (and only just on slightly more than her now), so don't be too lenient.
I reckon reasonable is £250 and is a drop in the ocean compared to living on her own, if she's not keen on that and it causes an atmosphere tell her to get back out in the real world and stop using you for a financial lifeline. Unless there is a reason missing out of this scenario she's being selfish. The love in a family works both ways, it's not all about sacrificing yourself for your children especially when they are at an age where they should be financially independant. Don't forget to forget to do their washing if she isn't up for doing some household duties either, afterall she's an adult.0 -
What about extra electricity for laundry .0
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I moved back home after University - I was broke and unemployed, got a part-time job, unemployed, got a full time job finally. But my parents never charged me a penny in rent regardless of my earning situation. I was expected to save up and buy my own place (achieved at the age of 28). And yes I probably did spend too much money on going out and having fun, but who doesn't when they are in their twenties! But since taking on a mortgage I had to prioritise more. I don't think you can dictate to your daughter how she spends her money - if she wants to save or fritter them away - it's up to her. I also think if you are parents that your offspring are your dependents and you signed up to 20-30 years of support. It's one thing to charge a lodger, but to charge your own children seems rather mercenary.0
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You have done your bit and she has had a try at living independently and seen how expensive it is, but you are not in a position to be able to subsidise her social life. She does need to meet the extra costs involved and help with chores. It is only what any reasonable person would expect and be happy to do, especially for their parents.0
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I also think if you are parents that your offspring are your dependents and you signed up to 20-30 years of support.
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
It's one thing to charge a lodger, but to charge your own children seems rather mercenary.
While the adult child who is earning a good wage is behaving well by refusing to pay for their own food, electricity, gas, water, etc.......0 -
The OP's daughter has probably had 20 years of support already from her parents.I moved back home after University - I was broke and unemployed, got a part-time job, unemployed, got a full time job finally. But my parents never charged me a penny in rent regardless of my earning situation. I was expected to save up and buy my own place (achieved at the age of 28). And yes I probably did spend too much money on going out and having fun, but who doesn't when they are in their twenties! But since taking on a mortgage I had to prioritise more. I don't think you can dictate to your daughter how she spends her money - if she wants to save or fritter them away - it's up to her. I also think if you are parents that your offspring are your dependents and you signed up to 20-30 years of support. It's one thing to charge a lodger, but to charge your own children seems rather mercenary.
When do you propose it should stop?
It's not mercenary to expect an adult to at least cover any additional costs that her parents incur by her living back at home - at the very least, especially when the parents are having to economise.0 -
No one is saying they should be looking after you ,but go back a couple of generations and that is exactly what happened ,families lived together and helped look after their elderly. And now adults are releasing equity to give their children deposits for their first time houses ,and are helping with care costs for their own parents.
None of my children have bought their own houses yet and I for one am glad because when interest rates start to rise like they did in the early 90s because the banking and housing market cannot sustain what is happening today ,there will be a lot of people in a position of extreme difficulty and I speak from experience.There seems to be far too much emphasis on saving to buy houses.0 -
No one is saying they should be looking after you ,but go back a couple of generations and that is exactly what happened ,families lived together and helped look after their elderly. And now adults are releasing equity to give their children deposits for their first time houses ,and are helping with care costs for their own parents.
None of my children have bought their own houses yet and I for one am glad because when interest rates start to rise like they did in the early 90s because the banking and housing market cannot sustain what is happening today ,there will be a lot of people in a position of extreme difficulty and I speak from experience.There seems to be far too much emphasis on saving to buy houses.
Surely they will only be those who have over stretched themselves and not looked at what has happened and what could potentially happen again? It doesn't have to be either or, common sense can be applied.
All my kids are homeowners (on single incomes) but before they bought they were sure they could afford the mortgage if interest rates went higher. As it happens they have owned for between 3 and 5 years respectively and rates have been relatively unchanged for that time, house value has increased and they also took out fixed rate loans to further protect them against rate changes. They are now in the fortunate position of having a decent amount of equity in their properties.0 -
My eldest is still at Uni but when she finishes and starts earning I'll be taking 1/4 of any take home pay off her. I intend to invest it for her and give it back later on when she really needs it.Pants0
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