Keeping down spending on "stuff"

lisa_75 · 22 July 2006 at 9:02PM

bobsa1 wrote:

i'm in the position where everyone thinks we are well off (we aren't) but I just smile and keep the truth to myself.I'd be amazed if your friend can actually afford to spend £150 on presents. These things often just escalate out of control

I know. She is a full time mum of 4 and her household income is less than ours. She spends a lot, £300 a go on kids clothes etc, £70 every 5 weeks on her hair. I think part of the problem I had was trying to keep up. I am an idiot as she does have a lot of debt (£25k plus), but she always seems to manage. I thought we could too but we can't.

bobsa1 · 22 July 2006 at 9:10PM

Why don't you have an honest chat with your friend or partially honest & say you are worried that if you don't do something you are going to get into debt & suggest a £25 limit or an outing for a b'day instead of a gift.

You could go our for lunch together and then go window shopping or pamper each other at home (mini makeover) I know these suggestions may not be you but might be worth a try.

moggins · 22 July 2006 at 9:12PM

Her moment of landing in the mire will soon come

What I will add is don't dismiss anything, don't find excuses and say I can't do that, give everything a try and test whether it works for you or not first. Your income and outgoings are very similar to ours. I'm a SAHM because of DH's shifts and lack of childcare for a 12 year old.

Shop around for everything, give yourself time to look around and not be driven into buying the first (most expensive) thing. Your standards are going to have to drop for a while and don't ever think that children must have something, it's often far better to be honest with them and say that you can't afford it, otherwise they grow up expecting everything handed to them on a plate.

Oh and the 10Mb broadband is wasting you a ton of money, we have 4Mb and there is nothing that we can't do with that, DH is a chronic downloader of stuff and he's more than happy with what we have.

Ebany · 22 July 2006 at 10:45PM

Unless your husband is doing some really serious constant downloading then he won't actually be getting any benefit from the 10mb broadband anyway. At those speeds your browsing is restricted by the upload from the places you are getting the info from, rather than your ability to download it. We have a 2mb connection, and my husband downloads, we browse and play online games all at once with no noticeable delay (and previously we had 6 of us in one house on a 2mb line doing the same, though we did have to be careful about the downloading then). A faster connection may slightly improve speeds for large downloads (eg if he downloads lots of videos - but this is what my husband does and is regularly curtailed by running out of hard disk space!) but for your general browsing, gaming and email checking it really won't do anything.

My husband thinks ours is 8mb, but its not...

skintchick · 23 July 2006 at 2:38AM

I'm amazed at what you spend on presents. I have a reputation amongst my friends for buyng great pressies, and yet I spend no more than £10 on them (family and two best mates get up to £20)

how come they are great pressies at that price? Because I put a lot of thought into them, instead of just buying something expensive.

I also start sourcing stuff months in advance, and have a gift drawer into which I put nice inexpensive things I have seen and bought.

You can get fab jewelery, belts, hair things, even bags for under a tenner at Accessorize, Primark, M&S, in fact almost any high street shop.

CDs can be bought from Tesco for cheap.

For drivers, check out https://www.gbdriver.co.uk I got my Dad a set of St George Cross lockable dust cap covers for £14 and he was delighted!

eBay sells a lot of new stuff, and it helps if you think creatively. i couldn;t afford cufflinks for my male best mate, so I got him a cufflink box instead, from Tesco, for a tenner, bought at Christmas but saved till his birthday.

Christmas is a great time to buy things from supermarket gift ranges, in fact.

books are always welcome in my family.

Once when I was very skint I got a passport photo of me, put it in a cheap and tiny frame with beads on it (you could even make one) and gave it to my mum, who loved it so much it is still on her dressing table.

In in doubt, a bottle of wine is a nice gift.

But the main thing I did was to cull my gift list. I chatted with other skint friends and we now give only token gifts, and I simply crossed a lot of people off.

you do seem to have plenty to live on, it's just a matter of learning a new way of spending.

calleyw · 23 July 2006 at 8:07PM

Overall your figures in your SOA are not bad.

But as had already been mentioned you need slash that tv/internet/phone bill. As has already been said unless you are hardcore downloader there is no need for 8mb line. Me and my husband both use the internet at the same time. And we have a 2mb line and it is fine.

If the bill is in your name just ring up and down grade the speed. What about a freeview box for £30 one off payment that would get rid of the TV bit of the bill.

And how much is phone calls. As we are on cable telephone but use a different company for phone calls which is normally about £6 every 3 months. No tv so just broadband and phone and the last bill was £23.50 including the few calls we made via cable provider. So you can see you have a chance to save at least a whopping £80 or so a month.

I am rather concerened about these student loans. This may not work for you. But have you looked in to a doing an Open University degree. You can transfer over what you have done already. And can get help with course
fees etc.

All the best.

And please don't try and compete with other people. Be you and do what makes me you happy.

Take care.

Yours

Calley

lisa_75 · 24 July 2006 at 10:38AM

calleyw wrote:

Overall your figures in your SOA are not bad.

But as had already been mentioned you need slash that tv/internet/phone bill. As has already been said unless you are hardcore downloader there is no need for 8mb line. Me and my husband both use the internet at the same time. And we have a 2mb line and it is fine.

If the bill is in your name just ring up and down grade the speed. What about a freeview box for £30 one off payment that would get rid of the TV bit of the bill.

Thanks. The internet is not in my name. My husband is very reluctant to downgrade it. I am working on that though. Also my tv has freeview built in, but I am tied into a HD TV contract at the moment.

calleyw wrote:

And how much is phone calls. As we are on cable telephone but use a different company for phone calls which is normally about £6 every 3 months. No tv so just broadband and phone and the last bill was £23.50 including the few calls we made via cable provider. So you can see you have a chance to save at least a whopping £80 or so a month.

My phone calls cost £10 a month. I am with telewest. Which company do you use if you don't mind me asking?

calleyw wrote:

I am rather concerened about these student loans. This may not work for you. But have you looked in to a doing an Open University degree. You can transfer over what you have done already. And can get help with course
fees etc.

I wouldn't get help with course fees from the OU as my husband earns too much. I am about to enter my third and final year so I don't really see the point in stopping now. Besides, I have only got through my degree because of the great friends I have made. It is not the same doing it at home on your own. Hopefully the students loans will be an investment in my career.

calleyw · 24 July 2006 at 3:20PM

lisa_75 wrote:

Thanks. The internet is not in my name. My husband is very reluctant to downgrade it. I am working on that though. Also my tv has freeview built in, but I am tied into a HD TV contract at the moment.

Just keep working on him. As he really will not notice the difference. I think it is just men and their toys type thing

lisa_75 wrote:

My phone calls cost £10 a month. I am with telewest. Which company do you use if you don't mind me asking?

I use either 1866 but there is also 1899 both are good. It cost 3p connection and half a pence per min for normal landline calls.

I use telewest at weekends as I get free calls.

lisa_75 wrote:

I wouldn't get help with course fees from the OU as my husband earns too much. I am about to enter my third and final year so I don't really see the point in stopping now. Besides, I have only got through my degree because of the great friends I have made. It is not the same doing it at home on your own. Hopefully the students loans will be an investment in my career.

I agree it is an investment as I am doing OU at the moment with working and trying to run a house and have a life. And that is without children.

How people manage with children. As I said what works for some does not work for others. But it always handy as a back up plan. Just hate to see students getting in so much debt.

All the best.

Yours

Calley

laughing_cow · 24 July 2006 at 4:23PM

Re cheap presents.

I've got a friend who is very successful, salary £100k+. I used to buy her the usual gifts - flowers, fancy toiletries etc - but they were all things she could easily afford to buy for herself (and does!). The things she most needs in life are time and good babysitters, so that she can have a rare night out with her husband. For her last birthday I made a couple of vouchers with 'One Night's Free Babysitting' on them. She was thrilled - it's a much better present for her the usual luxury goods that she has already got plenty of. I've been trying to cut right back so it was great to give an appreciated gift which cost me nothing. In fact, I actually enjoyed it - massive house with high tec audio visual/sky multiroom, big comfy furniture, fridge full of food, alcohol supplied etc. - looking forward to the next time!

LookingAhead · 24 July 2006 at 4:25PM

laughing_cow wrote:

Re cheap presents.

In fact, I actually enjoyed it - massive house with high tec audio visual/sky multiroom, big comfy furniture, fridge full of food, alcohol supplied etc. - looking forward to the next time!

Corrrr, does she need anyone else?

Keeping down spending on "stuff"

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