How small is too small to raise a baby? (For future reference)

Spendless · 15 May 2018 at 7:02PM

LilElvis wrote: »

She's basically turned the entire downstairs into "her space" and I want an adult room again without copious toy storage and Lego adorning every surface.

^^^ This was my DD when younger and now she's 15, just replace the toys with make up,, shoes and bags.

If I had the money, I'd have a place like we rented last year on hol, where she had her own bedroom with small en-suite and for the first time her stuff was 'contained' within her own space.

Fireflyaway · 15 May 2018 at 7:19PM

LilElvis wrote: »

I don't think I could cope with that. We've got a very large house with 2 adults and a seven year old but because the living area is very open plan we're now look at building an extension so she can have her own living space. She's basically turned the entire downstairs into "her space" and I want an adult room again without copious toy storage and Lego adorning every surface.

But you have allowed that to happen. You are seriously going to extend an already large home just so your seven year old has her own living space? :rotfl:
You know, everyone is different and it's not just size that's important. A safe garden, a downstairs toilet, a parking space etc. Some people think these are necessities and some couldn't care less. Do what makes you happy. If you are content, that's what builds a happy home.

John-K_3 · 15 May 2018 at 7:24PM

maman wrote: »

To be brutally honest, you sound far too immature to be even considering having a child.

But since you ask the question, I'd go for the traditional route: get married, buy a large enough house then when you've saved enough to manage on one income for a short while have a child.

Like many people, this is how we did it. We got well established in our careers, bought a house, established a very healthy emergency fund, and only then had children.

It is unfashionable, I know, but leads to a very secure existence for us and the children.

LilElvis · 15 May 2018 at 8:25PM

Fireflyaway wrote: »

But you have allowed that to happen. You are seriously going to extend an already large home just so your seven year old has her own living space? :rotfl:
You know, everyone is different and it's not just size that's important. A safe garden, a downstairs toilet, a parking space etc. Some people think these are necessities and some couldn't care less. Do what makes you happy. If you are content, that's what builds a happy home.

Absolutely serious. Integral double garage becomes my new kitchen. Old kitchen becomes daughter's living room. Build new double garage as separate building. It makes financial sense as a bigger home would be around £200k more plus stamp duty of £35k plus a 5 figure fee for selling/ legals/ removals etc. Still got scope to stick another couple of rooms in the loft space if her Lego obsession continues at its current pace :rotfl:

Perhaps it doesn't seem strange to us that she should have a living room of her own because we had them as children. Ditto for downstairs toilets, garage and a decent garden. Had five children after school this afternoon and the downstairs toilet is now in quarantine until I clean it :cool:

Poor_Single_lady · 15 May 2018 at 9:33PM

Awww this is a really lovely thread. This page is all affairs and inheritance grabbing. Nice to see something nice for a change.

thebigbosh · 16 May 2018 at 9:21AM

colleague had 2 kids up to the age of 3 in a one bed studio of about that size and whilst it was cramped they made do.

and I think that's the message to take, if you're organised and don't overflow with toys, paraphernalia or clutter you'll be absolutely fine. Plus, it's how you use your house to live - if you're mostly out all day, walking, playing, exploring, then small is no problem.

saying that, we've just moved our infant into his own room and he's gone from sleeping ~3hrs to sleeping ~7hrs which is rather nice. :beer:

julie777 · 16 May 2018 at 5:37PM

Our flat was 30 square metres when our first son was born. Our bedroom was tiny. so Tom's cot went into the box room (nicely done out). If we hadn't got that we would have squeezed the cot into the lounge by dumping the dropleaf table. We also had a fridge in the lounge because kitchen was so tiny; and the washing machine had to go in the bathroom.
When he was 2 our second son was due and we decided more space would be needed as fitting a larger bed into the lounge was going to be rather impractical.

So everyone would make the move at a different time. But you can be happy in a small place with the right mind-set. I don't believe children need a lot of indoor space to play as long as you are able to take them out to a park nearby.

onlyroz · 17 May 2018 at 9:49AM

LilElvis wrote: »

I don't think I could cope with that. We've got a very large house with 2 adults and a seven year old but because the living area is very open plan we're now look at building an extension so she can have her own living space. She's basically turned the entire downstairs into "her space" and I want an adult room again without copious toy storage and Lego adorning every surface.

Not a chance. My kids have their own rooms but I still seem to spend all my time clearing up their stuff from downstairs and carting it upstairs again.

neneromanova · 17 May 2018 at 9:57AM

hindsight is a wonderful thing! If I could do everything again, I would get the big house first then have kids. We've only now been able to afford a 4 bed house after living in a small 3 bed for the past 7 years with 3 kids. Yes we could have had 1 then waited and got the bigger house then had more, but I wanted close age ranges.

As your parents are only 40, I'd guess you're late teens early 20's. Save up for the house, go on holidays and have kids in like 10 years. You're obviously not going to listen as you've said you want kids. But kids are so hard! Nothing can prepare you for just how hard kids are :rotfl:

Silverbird · 19 May 2018 at 8:51AM

I'm quite shocked at the tone of some of the posts on this thread. Some comments are really quite spiteful.

Anyway, to the OP, it's your life and only you and your fiance can make this decision.

The only thing I would say is, life never works out how you thought it would. Try not to set yourself deadlines or things like 'by 2020 I will have done this, this and this and have this'. You're bound to end up disappointed and you'll be thinking too far ahead. Live in the present as much as you can.

My husband and I decided to save for a house deposit whilst trying to get pregnant (we were late 20's). Fast forward 8 years and we have zero savings as the deposit money (and more) was all used on failed IVF treatments (turns out we both have severe infertility problems). We are still renting. Live in a very small 2-bed maisonette. But we have an absolutely gorgeous little 2-year-old girl who became our daughter when she was 8 months old via adoption.

Life just never works out how you think it will. It sure would be easier if we could plan ahead and all our dreams were ticked off one by one on schedule, but it very rarely happens.

How small is too small to raise a baby? (For future reference)

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