Money Moral Dilemma: Should I keep paying to visit my girlfriend's mum?

MSE_Sarah · 21 May 2019 at 4:37PM

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My girlfriend and I regularly visit her mum, but she lives three and a half hours away on the train and tickets are always eye-wateringly expensive. Would it be wrong to stop visiting - or could I ask my girlfriend to contribute towards the cost of my ticket?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

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Pollycat · 21 May 2019 at 4:52PM

Here's a different way of looking at it:
why can't she visit you?
One lot of train fare instead of 2. :dance:

Mojisola · 21 May 2019 at 4:57PM

Rather than asking your GF for money, suggest that you go with her every second or third time.

onwards&upwards · 21 May 2019 at 5:02PM

Firstly, make sure you’ve got a ‘two together’ railcard.

Secondly, it’s impossible to say how the train tickets should be paid for without knowing more of the circumstances. So many variables!

You’ll probably just have to discuss it with your girlfriend.

Socajam · 21 May 2019 at 5:05PM

Explain to your girlfriend that you love visiting her mom, but the tickets are too expensive and it is eating into your savings. I would rather someone be this honest with me than finding excuses.
Then add that you would however like to reduce your visits to every third visit. You could even buy some flowers for your girlfriend to give to her mom, does not have to be every time.

Doodles · 21 May 2019 at 5:11PM

No you shouldn't ask your girlfriend to contribute to your ticket, but you should only go when you can afford to go. So just visit once in a while.

And why not ask her mum to come and visit (or stay) with you sometimes too?

Marvel1 · 21 May 2019 at 5:15PM

She can visit alone, you don't have to do every visit.

problemcashback · 21 May 2019 at 8:31PM

Imagine this question in a few years time, if you can’t don’t bother going at all.

elsien · 21 May 2019 at 8:34PM

Get the cheaper advance tickets or look at bus/coach prices.
It's generally less eyewateringly expensive if you plan ahead.

Presuming that you do actually want to visit at all?

John_Gray · 21 May 2019 at 8:47PM

Have you thought of moving closer to your GF's mother?
Or suggested that she moves closer to you?
It might end up being cheaper in the long run, and that is clearly what's important to you...

Liz_Kerr · 21 May 2019 at 11:05PM

depends on how close you are to your girlfriend. If its important to her I would just keep going and say nought. What do you do when there, does mum feed you, do you go out? is it also a weekend away? Who earns more, can you afford it?

Money Moral Dilemma: Should I keep paying to visit my girlfriend's mum?

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